Spanking ideas?

[Society]

I'm talking to a girl that loves to be spanked. Currently, I only have a few ideas, and she loves both of them. Paddle and a spoon, but I don't have a paddle, but I have a spoon. Are there any other things I could get, maybe a whip?

 

[SweetErika]

I'm sure the BDSM folks can give you a long list of ideas quickly. I've also seen plenty of sites like the Frugal Domme that are a treasure trove of household and homemade toys, ideas and techniques, so do some googling. Look through your kitchen and home...spatulas, dowels, miniblind rods, belts, leather gloves...it's only limited by your imagination and your partner's desires. I've heard horse/tack/farm/pet stores also have some great stuff, and you'll likely be able to find something like a riding crop much cheaper than through a BDSM retailer.

I don't have a ton of experience in this area, but for me it's way more about the fantasy, power exchange, and technique than the objects. All of the paddles, canes, and floggers in the world can't make up for lack of knowledge, technique, or a lousy attitude, so I'd prefer a partner focus on learning and getting into my head rather than finding things to use.

I can't recall where it is in the thread (page 50 is jumping into my head, but that's probably completely off), but Mr. GGG gives a very detailed, arousing description of how to integrate spanking with his g-spot technique in his "Try This and Report Back" thread. You and your partner may enjoy a variation like that.

Just a reminder...whatever you end up finding, test it on yourself, and make sure you're following the rules for safe, sane and consensual play.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I usually associate spanking with a hand more than implements and toys which then define it as beating butt for me....and simple as it may seem, there is no replacement for the feel of flesh on flesh for a good intimate spanking.

Catalina

 

[shy slave]

Spankings not top of my list of loves.

But I agree with catalina, when I think of spanking I relate it to his hand being used.

All other implements are not spanking per se but have their own titles.

When he used a paddle on my ass, I didnt not see it as a spanking, it made a wonderful noise but hardly hurt, whereas spanking makes little noise and hurts like hell.

I know you have said she likes the idea of a spoon being used (my mum used to use a hairbrush, until it broke on my sisters backside ); but perhaps finding out what aspects of the idea of spanking are a turn on for her.
I have friends who like the school girl role play and corporal punishment, they use a ruler as part of the spanking scene.

 

[serijules]

I was a spanko long before I was a sub or slave. Most of my friends are core spankos at heart too, so this is one area I have a LOT of experience in

Spanking for many is a lot more than just a hand on the butt. That's certainly often a favourite, but a lot of others things can be explored and still stay withen the spanking realm.

Finding stuff around the house or at walmart to use is fairly easy, as someone already mentioned. Walmart has two bread boards with handles...one wood, one some hard white plastic. Both work well for spanking and are dirt cheap. There are tons of pervertibles in the kitchen isle <g> Ping Pong paddles are a favourite. Hairbrushes, bathbrushes, rulers...I would stay away from mini blind rods; they crack easily and I've known people to be cut by them fairly badly.

Butt, back of thighs, front of thighs....all great spanking areas. The thighs are particularily ouchy. I hate having my thighs spanked. I get seriously annoyed with spankers that only focus on the ass.

Stay away from whips and canes until/unless you have an inkling of a clue how to use them. They are not novice toys. Try a crop or a pig slapper (both can be found at tack shops)

 

[catalina_francisco]

Stay away from whips and canes until/unless you have an inkling of a clue how to use them. They are not novice toys. Try a crop or a pig slapper (both can be found at tack shops)

But this is not what I get....if someone said to me they were into spanking, I wouldn't even dream they meant crops, floggers, whips or canes as I see that and the various articles such as paddles, wooden spoons, hairbrushes etc., as totally different areas of pain play.

Catalina

Edited to add this link which clears my confusion some...it seems it is a North American term to include whips, canes, floggers and just about any implement under the banner of spanking, while the UK and Commonwealth (which is my background) is more specific in limiting it to hand administered spanking/slapping.

 

[serijules]

But this is not what I get....if someone said to me they were into spanking, I wouldn't even dream they meant crops, floggers, whips or canes as I see that and the various articles such as paddles, wooden spoons, hairbrushes etc., as totally different areas of pain play.

Catalina

Well, all I can tell you is go to a spanking party sometime...it's not at all just "hand on the butt". I've been to many spanking parties, participated in many spanking forums, written many spanking stories for spanking magazines, met dozens of self-titled spankos. I've never met a spanko that ONLY spanked with bare hand on bottom.

That would be like saying all BDSM is, is a sub kneeling at a doms feet worshipping them.

Many spanko's have no more of an understanding of BDSM than the BDSM crowd seems to have of spankos though. It's always amazed me how separate the two worlds are.

What you are speaking of is just a "hand spanking", one of many forms of spanking play. If you are talking about spanking in general (which I get the idea the OP is), it's a hell of a lot more varied than that.

 

[serijules]

Edited to add this link which clears my confusion some...it seems it is a North American term to include whips, canes, floggers and just about any implement under the banner of spanking, while the UK and Commonwealth (which is my background) is more specific in limiting it to hand administered spanking/slapping.

I'm going more so on my experiences than wikipedia, heh. I've actually found that canes are MUCH more common in the UK spanking group than the US....by far. Whips and floggers, not so much so, but canes, for sure. It all goes back to the use of canes as punishment in schools which is very much a UK tradition.

At a party for overlap, shadow lane, Crimson Moon, or any of the various spanking groups in the US you will find just as varied of a toy bag as any fetish event, although the focus and proclaimed interest is often purely spanking.

Edited to add: I'm surprised to read there is a difference noted for the use of the term spanking for US vs UK. A lot of my spanking friends are UK and have always used the term the same way as the US bunch, so in my experience, I would disagree with the article. I'll have to ask them about it though, is an interesting difference.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I'm going more so on my experiences than wikipedia, heh. I've actually found that canes are MUCH more common in the UK spanking group than the US....by far. Whips and floggers, not so much so, but canes, for sure. It all goes back to the use of canes as punishment in schools which is very much a UK tradition.

At a party for overlap, shadow lane, Crimson Moon, or any of the various spanking groups in the US you will find just as varied of a toy bag as any fetish event, although the focus and proclaimed interest is often purely spanking.

Edited to add: I'm surprised to read there is a difference noted for the use of the term spanking for US vs UK. A lot of my spanking friends are UK and have always used the term the same way as the US bunch, so in my experience, I would disagree with the article. I'll have to ask them about it though, is an interesting difference.

Hmmm, well I rarely resort to wikpedia or similar myself, but I was feeling very confused as without exception, the subs we deal with in the UK and Europe (and OZ for that matter) all have associated spanking with hands, and canes as a totally separate area which in my experience of history was under the realm of corporal punishment in historical England and referred to as caning (actually was created I think as an alternative to birching) and even in Asian cultures where it is/was used it is referred to as caning. When we go through checklists with people, they do not see spanking as the same as caning, cropping, and/or whips and are often freaked to think expressing a desire to be spanked could lead to anything more than a hand. Maybe we just mix with different types of people, but then also on most popular checklists, they list spanking, caning, crops, and whips as separate activites as well. As to the spanking parties, I admit ignorance as we are not into the party or club scene.

Catalina

 

[serijules]

Hmmm, well I rarely resort to wikpedia or similar myself, but I was feeling very confused as without exception, the subs we deal with in the UK and Europe (and OZ for that matter) all have associated spanking with hands, and canes as a totally separate area which in my experience of history was under the realm of corporal punishment in historical England and referred to as caning (actually was created I think as an alternative to birching) and even in Asian cultures where it is/was used it is referred to as caning. When we go through checklists with people, they do not see spanking as the same as caning, cropping, and/or whips and are often freaked to think expressing a desire to be spanked could lead to anything more than a hand. Maybe we just mix with different types of people, but then also on most popular checklists, they list spanking, caning, crops, and whips as separate activites as well. As to the spanking parties, I admit ignorance as we are not into the party or club scene.

Catalina

I think the problem here is you are speaking of spanking from a D/s point of view where yes, it is usually defined as a very specific act (hand on butt). I'm speaking of it from a broader view as an actual lifestyle, where it is nowhere near that narrowly focused. Since the poster was asking of different types of spanking implements, I assumed they were speaking more so of the lifestyle I am active in.

Check out some discussion places like Overlap , Spanking Classics and while you will see a mix of BDSM and spanking in both the stories and the discussions, but they will all be labeled as "spanking discussions" and "spanking stories". Often even things that would for us be defined as BDSM...it's all a part of the spanking lifestyle and many will claim to have little or no interest in BDSM because many of them view BDSM in the same narrow focus that you are defining spanking (btw, I'm not using the word "narrow" in an insulting manner there, just can't think of another word that fits). In the spanking lifestyle, punishment, paddling, caning, hairbrushing, corner-time, lecturing, bratting, Top, bottom, ageplay, roleplay, Domestic Discipline....is all lumped together under the term "spanking". If I walk up to someone at an overlap, shadowlane or crimson moon party and say "I'm into spanking" that is what they are going to think I mean; not that I am only interested in a hand spanking on my bottom. If I list spanking as an activity that I am interested in on my BDSM profile, I agree that a BDSMer is going to think I mean a hand spanking on bottom, you are right there.

The mental aspects of a spanking lifestyle and a BDSM one are different too, even if the same implements are being used.

Just as in BDSM, of course the interest varies. Not everyone into spanking does all of those things, no more so than everyone in a BDSM lifestyle has all the same interests. Checklists are simply to help people more narrowly define THEIR interests.

I've always wished the two lifestyles had a better understanding of one another. I get frustrated when I come here and read negative things said about bratting, spanking, topping and bottoming. A lot of my friends identify as brats, but it doesn't have nearly the negative connection in spanking as it does in BDSM. I get frustrated when I go to overlap or spanking classics and see D/s or BDSM or subs, slaves and Doms protreyed in a negative way. There are a lot of sterotypes there that are unnecessary because the similarities are more common than not.

Overlap is unique in the sense that most of the active members are a mix of both like I am; spanking is a core interest, but BDSM is an active lifestyle. Sometimes they are kept pretty separate and while various forms of spanking may be going on in the main party room, the "heavy stuff"(read: the BDSM and D/s stuff) is going on behind closed doors. One of the regulars at overlap parties is an expert with the bullwhip though, so now and then you would see a bullwhipping going on. *grin*. We still call it spanking!

Classics is a little more so purist spankos, although there are a few that are into BDSM as well. Some of them tend to not be as open about that as it's not really understood too well.

I'm getting carried away here, sorry, it's just a passion of mine being I live both lifestyles and get frustrated sometimes when they don't mix as well as I'd like them too.

 

[shy slave]

Spoke to a friend of mine who was very involved in the spanking scene in the UK.

They're of the opinion that in general in the UK spanking is with a bare hand. Any other implements from a toy box relate to particular scenes for example being naughty and sent to the head master.

She commented that it may be that people who participate in forums use the common language of the forum as oppose to what is in general use in their own country.

She also commented that she was real life spanking before joining forums but initially had some difficulty finding UK based spanking forums. They are more common now but orginally were mainly US based.

I was actually part of a spanking forum locally (strange, as I dislike being spanked; but for while it linked to another site I am on) and bare hand with occasional use of a ruler were seen as 'spanking,' anything else was a different kink.

I am aware of the odd differences in language here compared to UK sites. Small aspects like in UK we talk of going to see a film, here its a movie. I often use American terms here, which I don't use anywhere else.

For people who speak the same language we manage to make some things complicated LOL

 

[serijules]

She commented that it may be that people who participate in forums use the common language of the forum as oppose to what is in general use in their own country.

She also commented that she was real life spanking before joining forums but initially had some difficulty finding UK based spanking forums. They are more common now but orginally were mainly US based.

I'd agree, I "adjust" my use of certain words when I am posting on the spanking forums versus posting on BDSM forums.

My original forum involvement was a newsgroup called SSS...soc.sexuality.spanking. I would say that is probably the most well known forum or group out there, although I haven't been there in years so I have no idea how active it still is. I remember there always being fights between the UK'ers and the US'ers as to what certain words referred to and meant, just like we are all always constantly spatting over the difference between submissive and slaves or sadists and dominants or whatever. They usually just rolled their eyes and gave in to the majority.

Ahh..memories.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I am aware of the odd differences in language here compared to UK sites. Small aspects like in UK we talk of going to see a film, here its a movie. I often use American terms here, which I don't use anywhere else.

For people who speak the same language we manage to make some things complicated LOL

LOL, I can relate, and then there is the 'at home' language difficulties at times given we do not share the same mother tongue, but is fun exploring and discussing the differences.

Catalina

 

[shy slave]

LOL, I can relate, and then there is the 'at home' language difficulties at times given we do not share the same mother tongue, but is fun exploring and discussing the differences.

Catalina

Oh I know all about those 'at home' discussions.

Not helped when we talk online and I use an unfamiliar word which I then spell incorrectly.


My spelling is not that bad, but as Weird Harold once said 'Its my fingers that are stupid!'

Honest

 

[catalina_francisco]

My spelling is not that bad, but as Weird Harold once said 'Its my fingers that are stupid!'

Honest

Ah yes, fingers....my devilishly naughty fingers get me into trouble often, all without my cooperation I swear.

Catalina

 

[Chicklet]

I'm talking to a girl that loves to be spanked. Currently, I only have a few ideas, and she loves both of them. Paddle and a spoon, but I don't have a paddle, but I have a spoon. Are there any other things I could get, maybe a whip?

If you're looking around the house for things, wooden spoons and flat spatulas are good. Hairbrushes are good - can use both sides Books could do it, a rolled up magazine or newspaper. Shoe, like a flip-flop, unless it has, like, dog-shit on it in which case, please don't do that.

For me, I personally see spanking as anything over the knee... that's what I picture with I think of spankings.

 

[Society]

If you're looking around the house for things, wooden spoons and flat spatulas are good. Hairbrushes are good - can use both sides Books could do it, a rolled up magazine or newspaper. Shoe, like a flip-flop, unless it has, like, dog-shit on it in which case, please don't do that.

For me, I personally see spanking as anything over the knee... that's what I picture with I think of spankings.

She asked me what a girl had to do to get spanked, so I told her. I got her wet last night talking to her about what I'd do to her. She asked if I'd make her take a time out after I've spanked her, and I told her "I will make you sit, and if you move for X amount of time, I will bend you over my knee and spank your bare ass" She was like I'd let you do it. I said if she moved, she'd get spanked, or I'd push her down and have sex with her as her punishment. She might come over this weekend, so hopefully I'll get to put this stuff into effect possibly.

She also likes being tied down and spanked as well, so I'll have to figure out how that'll workout for us.

 

[Chicklet]

for over the knee spankings with bondage, simple wrist tying or handcuffs can be good. Or bind the hands, bend her over the bed, hold her down with a hand on her back and spank her with your other hand. *that's* really erotic, to me.

 

[Society]

for over the knee spankings with bondage, simple wrist tying or handcuffs can be good. Or bind the hands, bend her over the bed, hold her down with a hand on her back and spank her with your other hand. *that's* really erotic, to me.

I will try that. It'll be fun though.

 

[FurryFury]

Try roses.

Fury

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Spanking can be an "umbrella" term like BDSM - meaning any impact play on the butt and thighs.

It can be a narrower term - meaning hand to bottom/thigh impact play.

Spanking can be broken down into many sub-categories:

Paddling - using broad, flat items to spank

Caning - using round, narrower items to spank

Flogging - using items with many tails to spank

Birching - using bundles of small diameter round canes to spank

Switching - using long, very thin, very flexible (almost whip-like) items to spank

Whipping - literally using a whip

Belting - Well, like, you know... a belt. D'oh!

I could go on, but y'all get the idea. ANYTHING you can pick up in your hand and swing can be used to spank someone on the bottom. Intensity will be determined by material, construction, how hard or fast you swing, stiffness of the item etc. To get an idea of what your bottom's bottom can take, I heartily recommend that you swat your own thighs a few times at different speeds so you have an idea of how things feel. A wooden paddle is different from belt is different from a 1/4 inch rattan cane is different from a crop is different from a hairbrush is different from a paint stirrer, is different from an acrylic rod...

Sorry. Getting excited about spanking someone! I'll go back to my corner and lurk now.....

 

[Society]

Spanking can be an "umbrella" term like BDSM - meaning any impact play on the butt and thighs.

It can be a narrower term - meaning hand to bottom/thigh impact play.

Spanking can be broken down into many sub-categories:

Paddling - using broad, flat items to spank

Caning - using round, narrower items to spank

Flogging - using items with many tails to spank

Birching - using bundles of small diameter round canes to spank

Switching - using long, very thin, very flexible (almost whip-like) items to spank

Whipping - literally using a whip

Belting - Well, like, you know... a belt. D'oh!

I could go on, but y'all get the idea. ANYTHING you can pick up in your hand and swing can be used to spank someone on the bottom. Intensity will be determined by material, construction, how hard or fast you swing, stiffness of the item etc. To get an idea of what your bottom's bottom can take, I heartily recommend that you swat your own thighs a few times at different speeds so you have an idea of how things feel. A wooden paddle is different from belt is different from a 1/4 inch rattan cane is different from a crop is different from a hairbrush is different from a paint stirrer, is different from an acrylic rod...

Sorry. Getting excited about spanking someone! I'll go back to my corner and lurk now.....

Man, that breaks it down well. She's coming over saturday, and her exact words were "I can't wait til you spank me"

It's going to be fun.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Spanking can be an "umbrella" term like BDSM - meaning any impact play on the butt and thighs.

It can be a narrower term - meaning hand to bottom/thigh impact play.

Spanking can be broken down into many sub-categories:

Paddling - using broad, flat items to spank

Caning - using round, narrower items to spank

Flogging - using items with many tails to spank

Birching - using bundles of small diameter round canes to spank

Switching - using long, very thin, very flexible (almost whip-like) items to spank

Whipping - literally using a whip

Belting - Well, like, you know... a belt. D'oh!

I could go on, but y'all get the idea. ANYTHING you can pick up in your hand and swing can be used to spank someone on the bottom. Intensity will be determined by material, construction, how hard or fast you swing, stiffness of the item etc. To get an idea of what your bottom's bottom can take, I heartily recommend that you swat your own thighs a few times at different speeds so you have an idea of how things feel. A wooden paddle is different from belt is different from a 1/4 inch rattan cane is different from a crop is different from a hairbrush is different from a paint stirrer, is different from an acrylic rod...

.

In the US, yes, but as we have found, not the rest of the world....which includes a lot of fellow perverts BTW. LOL, I did double check with a sub I am talking to as to whether he meant by saying he was into spanking that he was up for the cane, flogger and/or whips as well, and predictably he freaked and emphasised he had said spanking and did not see any of those things as remotely being classed as spanking.....but he did promise he would work hard to get to accepting and liking that type of heavy pain play.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

Man, that breaks it down well. She's coming over saturday, and her exact words were "I can't wait til you spank me"

It's going to be fun.

Dare I suggest that as there is a variance on what spanking actually means to different people, and given your friend may not be someone who is previously into any kink orientated forums or groups so might also have a loose old fashioned meaning attached to the word....not to mention the usual SSC discussion ...that you curb some of your enthusiasm long enough to discuss limits and safewords with her before bringing out such items as canes and whips which even some of our most devoted pain sluts on the board have not felt ready to submit to as yet. It should also be mentioned in interests of safety, as you yourself are a novice, and despite you being in the US and the general consensus including just about everything under the sun under the umbrella of spanking, that you would be foolhardy to pick up a cane, crop or whip to use without any knowledge and experience as you could cause serious injury.

Catalinahttp://home.scarlet.be/~cl898452/index/erotic/9erotic.gif

 

[RJMasters]

Head and shoulders well supported on the cushions of the couch. Legs in the air and back up along the back of the couch for support. Spread legs and bend knees down towards head. This stretches and tightens the ass cheeks nicely.

Place knee next to head on the couch cushion....Open eagerly awaiting mouth...and slide cock inside. Place one hand on back of thigh just above the knee to steady and hold. With free hand....lay smacks with a cupped flat hand. The more sensitive area lies right where the ass cheeks and the back of the thighs meet.

The result...a delicious good mouth fucking, and ass spanking. And if your in the mind to...a little torture teasing at the Y .

Play safe have fun.