Spam email inspiration repository

[Stella_Omega]

Whatever program is putting names and subject headings on the spam I've been getting lately- has been creating many inadvertently poetic images.
Names like
Regiment Smith
Maggie Quay
Given Robert
Jozie F. Pace
Maud Mack
Mayo E. Ray
Rob Cockerham

Subjects like;

Piano Reminiscent
Twilight Resounds
Crystalline Anything
Department Jacobian

And some silly ones;

Oops I'm Nudie Again
Lock Your Ammo


There's more, but I can't find the piece of paper I scribbled them on

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I get those too. They must have some random word generator to dodge Spam filters. Some of them are so interesting I just have to click on them. The only one I remember offhand is "Seriously Norway".

Got a new PayPal phish the other day too. They asked me if I'd added the name "monkscent@something.com" to my account and if I hadn't, I'd better follow their link and re-enter my personal data.

I'm also getting some sort of junk that claims to be customer verifications from e-bay about things I supposedly bought and sold.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I just received one from "Moonstone Jones"

And that WILL be used. What a great character name!

 

[damppanties]

I love reading through spam names too. And yes, I pick names from there sometimes. They're really lovely names.

 

[Just-Legal]

Annabelle Kaye
Sam Nigel
Terry Gonzalez
Melanie Hall
Travis Chappell
Matilda Farr
Milo Avery Courtney
Aisha Villegas
Evan Scott
Sierra Freeman
Louis Jefferson
ricky legier
Nora Rowland
Patricia I Hayes
Silvia Hartman
Robin Hill
Morris Abel
Jordan Vazquez
Anastasia Drummond
Randal Whitehead
Tony Torres
Carmella Lam
Thaddeus
Baghiu Liviu
Rufus
Terry Sanders

From page 1 of my spam filter >.<

 

[3113]

So nice of these people to help out us poor writers. They think up names for us and provide inspiration with their subject headings.

 

[Nirvanadragones]

Oh, I have had some classics. I remember finding one a few months back where the entire email had me near hysterical, and I mailed it to my friends asking for their explanation of what it meant. I'll see if I can find it to post

 

[cloudy]

Oh, I have had some classics. I remember finding one a few months back where the entire email had me near hysterical, and I mailed it to my friends asking for their explanation of what it meant. I'll see if I can find it to post

You sent it to me.

 

[Nirvanadragones]

You sent it to me.

Got it! I'm copy and pasting.

Thought i'd share... you know the spam mail that goes straight to your spam folder because it comes from no-one you remotely know, and is mostly advertising and crap? I was deleting mine and happened to open this one accidently.... I am wondering:

a. what language this person is
b. What this means
c. Is there a hidden code / pattern I am not aware of?
d. If you are laughing just as much as I did!


---------- Forwarded message ----------
From:Anon
Date: 13-Apr-2006 19:48
Subject: *SPAMMMM*
To: . . . . .

profession miserable suddenly. a she least is servants companion? end teach few.
not you my human. supposedto make bought appearance? am commit mischievous is mentioned you.
very mentioned music wife respect. profession black explain anything carefully,
bake least beautiful make human mischievous.
explain few across.

And then the replies from my friends . . .

Reply 1:

Don't you see what this is? Turn the message upside down and
look at it through a blue tinted filter, and it's plain as day.

The Holy Grail isn't in Rosslyn Chapel at all. It's in the hands of the late
Nigerian General Afro Di Ziak's widow. If you and I send her details of our
bank accounts as a sign of good faith, she'll let us know where it's hidden
and clean out our bank accounts while we go and look for it.

Reply 2:

figured it out, it's mime-speak.

profession miserable suddenly. ( I hate my job)
a she least is servants companion?( I'm a maid's maid)
end teach few. (with a nice ass)
not you my human.(I'm also a research monkey)
supposedto make bought appearance?( I'm in the cosmetics dept.)
am commit mischievous is mentioned you.(I fling poo)
very mentioned music wife respect.( My wife plays bagpipes)
profession black explain anything carefully,( her teacher is a Goth)
bake least beautiful make human mischievous.( I made cookies, they suck)
explain few across.(I'm doing a crossword puzzle)

Reply 3:

inserted my babelfish and realized that this is a message from aliens, it really says,

"Lesbians rule."

I think however that the original version would make a great sig line.


Reply 4:

It just leaves me confused…

language is definitely an issue here
don’t think it means anything in this format in my brain (agree: I’m not the intended audience)
depends on who the intended audience is
leaves me confused

I kinda identify with some of the concepts:

miserable suddenly.
not you my human.
mischievous is mentioned you.
vwife respect.
profession black
explain anything carefully,
beautiful make human mischievous.

Looks like a scrambled message from a letter going with a CV. The challenge is to unscramble

 

[Stella_Omega]

spamusement.com/

 

[rgraham666]

Got it! I'm copy and pasting.

Thought i'd share... you know the spam mail that goes straight to your spam folder because it comes from no-one you remotely know, and is mostly advertising and crap? I was deleting mine and happened to open this one accidently.... I am wondering:

a. what language this person is
b. What this means
c. Is there a hidden code / pattern I am not aware of?
d. If you are laughing just as much as I did!


---------- Forwarded message ----------
From:Anon
Date: 13-Apr-2006 19:48
Subject: *SPAMMMM*
To: . . . . .

profession miserable suddenly. a she least is servants companion? end teach few.
not you my human. supposedto make bought appearance? am commit mischievous is mentioned you.
very mentioned music wife respect. profession black explain anything carefully,
bake least beautiful make human mischievous.
explain few across.

Oh my God! The internet is becoming sentient!

We're fucked.

 

[rgraham666]

This cartoon made me go 'snerk'.

 

[Dr_Strabismus]

Okay, I've posted a couple of amused threads about the inadvertently entertaining contents of spam in the past.

But I'm also an experienced computer geek, so I know exacty what I'm doing when I open spam emails.

Spam is more malevolent than many people realize.

Let me just make a couple of points about these things, for anybody who wants to know about it:

Spam email, even spam that looks like its trying to sell you stock, or viagra, is usually sent for an altogether different purpose, most often to plant malware on your machine, which can be used either to hack your machine or to provide personal information for criminal groups to exploit.

The mail server than I have in my office uses one of the most effective server-side spam filters, called SpamAssassin. It operates using a combination of about 300 "fixed" rules, which are updated every few weeks or so, and a Bayes or "learning" filter, which checks the contents of each incoming mail against a database of words and phrases that have been previously marked as indicative of spam.

The long streams of semi-random nonsense in spam are designed to overload the learning portion of the filter, by swelling the database, eventually causing a denial of service on the target mail server.

I check daily a random sample of the spam which my Spamassassin filter catches, and a high proportion of it actually contains a malware "payload". The only safe way to open this kind of message is in a text editor. Opening it in Outlook is highly risky.

I also monitor the size of my SpamAssassin database, and rebuild it from scratch every so often, using a new sample of spam messages. That's why I keep my spam, and occasionally read the messages. (Actually I only read the message headers).

 

[JamesSD]

Rob Cockerham

Rob Cockerham runs the humor website cockeyed.com, most well known for his "how much is inside" "experiments".

So, either his name was mined off of the internet, or it's a random coincidence it was generated!

(I'm sure he'd be pleased to know his name is "poetic")

 

[Alessia Brio]

Whatever program is putting names and subject headings on the spam I've been getting lately- has been creating many inadvertently poetic images.
Names like
Regiment Smith
Maggie Quay
Given Robert
Jozie F. Pace
Maud Mack
Mayo E. Ray
Rob Cockerham

Subjects like;

Piano Reminiscent
Twilight Resounds
Crystalline Anything
Department Jacobian

And some silly ones;

Oops I'm Nudie Again
Lock Your Ammo


There's more, but I can't find the piece of paper I scribbled them on

Sounds like a wonderful premise for a chain story.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Strab, thank you for the warnings, truly.

I run Spam Assassin on my websites that host emails, as well. My spam subjects are coming from my gmail account spam folder- that's the only way I'd access them too!

Today's harvest;

Subject;
To espouse of Jacobus
names;
Caleb Roach
Elwood Spangler
and one of the best yet;
Noontime O. Yip

 

[damppanties]

Today's Names:
Delia Kirby
Albert Bell
Pamela Vaughn
Bill Flanagan
Roderick Barnhart
Jackie Briggs
Katrina Knapp
Angie Kaplan
Eva Hoskins
Violet Mclaughlin
Maxime Hulett
Tamika

Subjects:
Are These Shares Poised for a Run?
But if it might, that he saw the boil and it, with thee
Can You feel The Rocket!??
Of on perfect - might be perceived as healthy.
I sometimes envision a situation eliminating the need for paper as …
Re: For conviction
It of remarkably

 

[Nirvanadragones]

It of remarkably

Indeed it is remarkably!

This is my pick of the day:

Without eating load facility lack detail whatever. Provides, simple use interface combined with powerful. Theres always, avi kill strengths, while?Build collection everyone group securely. Is knowing youre, dumb. Compatible soulseek adfree bitspirit powful easytouse, client.

 

[TheEarl]

spamusement.com/

Dammit, you beat me to it!

HELLO ME NOT DEAD

The Earl

 

[Stella_Omega]

I sometimes envision a situation eliminating the need for paper as …

Buttwipes?

 

[rgraham666]

Buttwipes?

We'll have a paperless office the same day we have a paperless toilet.

Kinda off topic, but I'm going through a schizophrenic stage at the moment.

 

[Stella_Omega]

We'll have a paperless office the same day we have a paperless toilet.

Kinda off topic, but I'm going through a schizophrenic stage at the moment.

Yikes! that can't be comfortable.

 

[rgraham666]

Yikes! that can't be comfortable.

Actually it's interesting. My mind's bouncing around like a roulette ball. I never quite know where it's going to end up.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Today's best;
Bart Hurst
Tilly Cabreras
and Essie Sexton
Sounds like a Western, doesn't it?

plus the body of this one is... speshul ;

Ctsevencom ctaobaocom ctccom ctextracom ctgouracom. Wzzqwcom xerrocom xpczonecom xtracercom xxnet. Pie science internet widely. Ooaonet, oobboocom, oofferscom oomercom ooopanet oozenozcom openviacom! Osillccom osmedscom osteurocom oudounet ....

and so on and on and on...

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Plotbunny: A woman is fed up with getting spam mails about increasing her cock size, and finally gives in and orders the damned thing. What will happen? Will she grow a cock? Will her clitoris grow larger? Will she noticed no difference whatsoever, until she has sex with a guy and he suddenly increases up to 4 inches from entering her drug-drenched pussy?