Soylent Green is people.

[shereads]

Who else has considered the likelihood that we're victims of an elaborate, brilliantly executed practical joke that took a lot of time and patience to set up and is now beginning to pay off; perhaps to reappear as someone's masters' thesis, or a satirical book about cybering and message boards?

No one?

That's a relief.

Go back to whatever you were doing. Thanks for stopping by.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Dammit! You ruined the ending for me!

I knew you would, someday.

 

[rikaaim]

That's the greatest thing I've read in a long time.

 

[Raging Whoremoans]

Fun While It Lasted


Sure is quiet in here tonight.

 

[cheerful_deviant]

Dammit! You ruined the ending for me!

I knew you would, someday.

Psssst... guess what, Rosebud is a sled.

 

[SeaCat]

So let's find some way to kick it up. Any ideas?

Cat

 

[carsonshepherd]

Psssst... guess what, Rosebud is a sled.

Curse you!!!

 

[shereads]

So let's find some way to kick it up. Any ideas?

Cat

Christ, I don't know. A murder?

 

[rikaaim]

Christ, I don't know. A murder?

A showtune. That always does it.

 

[shereads]

A showtune. That always does it.

I think we did that already. Either that, or I'm dreaming this thread while sleeping through a dinner-theater production of Cats.

 

[rikaaim]

I think we did that already. Either that, or I'm dreaming this thread while sleeping through a dinner-theater production of Cats.

Well, a cannon? That shoots out cats that catch mysteriously on fire whilst cooking soup.

Will that work? Spice it up. Was the the remark? Well, throw in some cayenne.

That's all I got.

 

[cheerful_deviant]

So let's find some way to kick it up. Any ideas?

I'm thinking scantilly clad dancing girls, that always manages to spice things up for me.

Oh, I'm sorry, was that a male sexist pig thing to say? It was?

Oh, good.

 

[SeaCat]

Well, a cannon? That shoots out cats that catch mysteriously on fire whilst cooking soup.

Will that work? Spice it up. Was the the remark? Well, throw in some cayenne.

That's all I got.

Fuckin M-E-O-W!

Try that one and your going in the cannon with me bud. And I'll bring the Hot Sauce.

Cat

 

[shereads]

To my mind, the issue at hand is not whether there has been enough variety, but whether the recurring theme of the last few days has been the culmination of an elaborate hoax.

If that's the case, it's a work of sheer genius.

I'd like to think we've been duped, even though it would mean that some of us fell harder than others for what will seem so obvious when the book is published.

< Ripple effect on screen indicates passage of time. Actors in cat costumes slink through the scene. One of them sings. Introduce cash-register sequence at Barnes & Noble >

With decent graphics, it might develop a small but enthusiastic cult following. Taking a cue from the book, "Get Your War On," it will be promoted primarily online and by word-of-mouth. Years from now, people will still be e-mailing the link to their friends. "They all had to be in on it," they'll say. "It couldn't have been scripted any better." "Maybe they were high." "Maybe pornography made them careless."

I want my copy autographed.

 

[TheEarl]

I want my copy autographed.

The Earl

 

[Guest]

The Earl

cheeky!
*snicker*

 

[dr_mabeuse]

When TV shows were in trouble, they used to add a monkey to the cast.

Either that or have the main characters get married.

When a certain model car doesn't sell, they'll often paint it purple. When you see purple cars for sale, that usually means the model is on its last legs.

---dr.M.

 

[TheEarl]

When TV shows were in trouble, they used to add a monkey to the cast.

Either that or have the main characters get married.

When a certain model car doesn't sell, they'll often paint it purple. When you see purple cars for sale, that usually means the model is on its last legs.

---dr.M.

Monkey? What show did that?

The Earl

 

[shereads]

There's a monkey in a cast in my avocado tree.

Either someone's filming a leap-the-shark episode of E.R., or this is the last sign of the apocolypse and I'm a born-again Christian.

How did he get up there with one good arm?

 

[TheEarl]

La singe est sur la branche!

(For anyone who's not an Eddie Izzard fan, take it from me that that's bloody hilarious)

She: You know the punchline to "How do you get a one-armed monkey out of a tree?" don't you?

All the world's a punchline.

The Earl

 

[shereads]

She: You know the punchline to "How do you get a one-armed monkey out of a tree?" don't you?

Do you know the Lord?

 

[TheEarl]

Do you know the Lord?

Not personally, although I pray a lot.

I'm confused now; what am I missing?

The Earl

 

[rikaaim]

Fuckin M-E-O-W!

Try that one and your going in the cannon with me bud. And I'll bring the Hot Sauce.

Cat

Truly an interesting proposal, send me the deatails and I'll prep the unsuspecting cats.

 

[Evil Alpaca]

Dammit! You ruined the ending for me!

I knew you would, someday.

And the girl in "The Crying Game" was really a guy.

 

[carsonshepherd]

And the girl in "The Crying Game" was really a guy.

I hate you!