Southern sayings with humor...

[Sateema Lunasi]

I need these for a story. It is set in the South and in it there is a grandmother who often says witty "Southern-ish" things that usually have a ring of advice about them. My sig line is a good example, though Brad Pitt also used the line in Fight Club. Also, my Grandfather once told my brother,
BROTHER: That girl is pretty. (she waskind of slutty)
GRAMPA: Yeah, but a waitress at the Waffle House can be pretty at 4am.

Got any Southern witticisms that have not been run into the ground already?

Share please?

 

[Sateema Lunasi]

Bump.

Come on people...speak up Southerners!

 

[Hamletmaschine]

When I moved to Louisiana, one of the best lines I heard was:

"It don't take as much water to make coffee as most Yankees think."

 

[Sateema Lunasi]

Yep (nodding head vehemently) Coffee down here is like mudsucking.

 

[Saytur]

My favorite southern line is, "You can't teach a pig to sing . . . it just wastes your time and annoys the pig."

 

[Sateema Lunasi]

Saytur, I really like that one!

 

[lavender]

 

[seXieleXie]

my grandmother has an expression for everything. some of them are just wacky.

"if your cat had her kittens in the oven they wouldn't be biscuts"

 

[Vinny]

Ok

"it is colder than a witches tit"

or "If took a shit and fell overboard"

 

[Sateema Lunasi]

The woman next door to me says that a lot "colder than a witch's tit in here"

The one about teaching a pig to dance makes me think of some of the esoteric shit Ross Perot used to say...

"You can't tie a hog with an umbrella, then throw a rope in a barn and expect to make licorice..." something like that. Nonsensicle.

I cannot spell today.

 

[unclej]

replying to "i wish i had...whatever" and if a frog had wings he wouldn't bump his ass evrery time he jumped...

you are never welcome in somebody else's fight....

my all time favorite expression...that boy's so dumb he could fall into a barrell of tits and come up sucking his thumb....