Sooo.......paying for sex?

[shiny5437]

This is a fairly embarrassing question to ask but has anybody ever visited an escort? Has anyone here ever worked as one?

I'm a 31 year old single guy who hasn't had sex in over 3 years and it's starting to get me down that I'm missing out when everyone else seems to be enjoying themselves and this aspect of being a human being. Unfortunately, I can't see this situation changing anytime soon which leads to the conclusion that I should bite the bullet and acknowledge that maybe I've just got to pay for it. Ideally it would be nice to do the normal thing and experience sex as part of a romantic relationship but that's probably not going to happen.

My back story (and feel free to skip this bit) is that I've only had one girlfriend / sex partner in my entire life. I've always been fairly shy but I do have a close circle of good friends and also socialise through (male dominated) sports. I don't have that much opportunity though to meet single women which is especially so since my mates are busy settling down with wives and kids. I've tried internet dating but despite going on several dates nothing came of it, probably because I'm pretty clueless about what to do during these meetings. Adult dating sites could be an option but they seem full of scams and also a bit like trying to run before you can walk!

So the plan would be an escort - an independent one with their own accommodation; fairly 'classy'.

Questions:
1. Do escorts actually 'enjoy' their work? I don't mean sexually, but in terms of job satisfaction and being comfortable with their work. Certainly, some sex workers are exploited, forced into the profession, suffer psychological damage from their work, and dislike doing what they do. I would not want to put someone through that for my own jollies.

2. How might they be with someone who is 'inexperienced' / shy? Do they expect a certain amount of 'performance' ability? I wonder how they as people who spend their time dealing in sex would interact with someone who doesn't.

3. What's the possible emotional fall-out for someone who does visit escorts? How may it affect future relationships knowing you once paid for sex? Does it become a guilty secret or would you tell a future partner? How would you feel if your partner told you they had previously visited an escort? Could paying for sex further develop any feelings of social inadequacy?

4. I'm not the best looking of chaps in the world. Do they really charge more for 'ugly' (like someone did for Wayne Rooney)?

5. What's the experience actually like? I guess you're not going to spend the whole time doing the deed. Do you end up talking about the weather or having a cup of tea or something? That said a nice brew and a biscuit after a good shag does seem appealing.

That's all the questions I have for now, thanks for bearing with me!

 

[emap]

I can't speak for across the pond but here I know that roughly 80% of the escorts are pressured to have sex. Pimps are still around, they just make their girls do escorting. Also, the companies say sex is between two consenting adults, you don't pay for there to be sex, but they then tell the escorts do what he wants. Legally they are covered and they still make money because a female escort isn't wanted for anything else.

Now as for the rest of it, it doesn't really matter if you do get an escort. Tell a future girlfriend or not, she probably won't care either way. If it helps any, most women at least think about getting paid for sex. In the confines of a relationship it may even be a good fantasy to live out.

As for if she likes it or not, if you are nice, talk to her about things besides what position you want, she will have fun. Trust me, no matter how ugly a man is there is at least one woman saying I'll fuck him. We care about more than just appearance so be nice and caring and she will happily screw you. Bring a condom, or several depending on how long you get her for.

Escort is not a wonderful job, it can be, but it can also be just as dangerous as standing on a corner and getting into stranger's cars. You don't know what you are walking into when you go to his place or a hotel. You still don't know what you are getting into when he comes there. In fact the reason most escorts do outcall only is because they can look over the place and have someone knowing where they are. Usually they place a call when they get there and have a code word for come get me now. They also place a call after they have left.

 

[Paul_Chance]

Free Advice - Worth What You Paid

1. You'll never know why a person entered the sex trade. If you don't want to acquire the karma, stay clear of it.

2. They want to seperate your from your money as cleanly and pleasurably (for you) as possible, so they will do whatever they can to make sure you enjoy the experience, within reason (and price). They could care less if you have a hair trigger, in fact, the faster you get to the point, they quicker they get out. You won't get any discounts for speed - though you could ask.

3. Emotionally, you're the only one who can answer that question. But, feelings of shame and guilt are pretty common, at least until those feelings burn out or until you sort through your own sexual morals. If you're going to be ashamed, but you still need to get laid, then do it privately and never tell anyone. LOL - repression works wonders. My advice though, and it is not for everyone, and it comes from a guy who has consorted with prostitutes and escorts is this - own it. Examine your own moral code. If you can accept it, or even embrace it, then simply do it and own up to it. Practice in the mirror saying "Year, I went through a dry spell there and ended up spending my Christmas bonus on a pair of hookers from Manchester and a rented room full of beachballs." I will answer the part about sexual inadequacy a little later on...*

4. Take a shower, put on clean clothes, and you'll be fine. If you smell fresh scrubbed that is going to make their job a little easier.

5. The experience is going to depend on you, the escort, and what you want to do. At the low end of the spectrum the only difference between an escort and a prostitute is - well, nothing. It will be strictly transactional. At the high end, it can be the same as a very nice date, with dinner, wine, amusing conversation, maybe some dancing, then closing business. That is kind of up to you - the more money you are willing to spend, the more likely you are going to enjoy the experience.

Now, for a couple of random pieces of advice:

1. Can you talk to your mates about it? Primarily for a recommendation. Word of mouth is the best advertisment for an escort that isn't going to roll you and leave with something creepy crawly in underwear.

2. In most countries, prostitution is illegal and understand going in that you are dealing with people who are willing to break the law to get what they want/need. Keep your head straight and trust your instincts. Stay sober, drink bottled beer that YOU brought and opened, and make sure YOU lock the door. (Safety First).

3. Seriously consider flying to a country where prostitution is legal and the brothels are regulated. It will be a much cleaner and safer transaction. There, you will be just another paying customer.

*Okay, a final sideways piece of advice. If the root cause behind your inability to establish an intimate relationship is feelings of sexual inadequacy, you don't need an escort. You need a sex therapist. First off, it's generally going to be cheaper, second, its going to be legal, and third, rather then just being an enjoyable tumble, you will at the end of it actually be able to overcome your feelings of inadequacy and enter into mutually rewarding relationships that don't involve cash and anonymous hotel rooms. Oh wait, they might, but that would be under the category of role-playing.

Either way, best of luck and be sure and tell us how it goes.

 

[Maxell46]

I've always been fairly shy

And ....
how's that working out for you ?
It's not !

Thats what you should be putting your energy into : getting UN-SHY!
Why?
Because being shy gets you nowhere!
The rest of the world is getting on with it while you are " to shy ".


I speak from been there done that. Grew up very shy but forced myself to change because the thought of missing life while I was " to shy " and afraid to fully live it was distressing.

Paying for sex?
Thats pitifull and lame. Plenty of fish in this big ocean...
get swimming before you're life is over and you look back with woulda shoulda coulda...

 

[SweetErika]

Questions:
1. Do escorts actually 'enjoy' their work? I don't mean sexually, but in terms of job satisfaction and being comfortable with their work. Certainly, some sex workers are exploited, forced into the profession, suffer psychological damage from their work, and dislike doing what they do. I would not want to put someone through that for my own jollies.

Some do enjoy it, but most are in it for the money for whatever reason(s) and absolutely have some sort of abuse/assault history. I'm sure you could find some statistics on the percentage of sex workers who have abused/assaulted prior to entering the profession, and from what I've heard, that number is disproportionately high. Then the job leads to abuse, assault and frequently substance abuse or other forms of self-harm to try to cope with those things.

I'm not trying to scare you off of the notion, but you can assume it's something that emotionally healthy women simply do not do in the vast majority of cases. Then again, there are far more unhealthy women who don't sell sex, so...

2. How might they be with someone who is 'inexperienced' / shy? Do they expect a certain amount of 'performance' ability? I wonder how they as people who spend their time dealing in sex would interact with someone who doesn't.

They don't care about your performance, period. This is a financial transaction for them, so as long as you don't abuse them, have good hygiene and they get your money, you're good.

There are whole advice lists on what you should expect, how you should arrive and act, what to look out for, etc. I'd encourage you to seek some of them out.

3. What's the possible emotional fall-out for someone who does visit escorts? How may it affect future relationships knowing you once paid for sex? Does it become a guilty secret or would you tell a future partner? How would you feel if your partner told you they had previously visited an escort? Could paying for sex further develop any feelings of social inadequacy?

If you expect you'll feel guilty/bad in the aftermath, you probably will. If you just see it as paying for a service (like you would a therapeutic massage, haircut, waiter, etc.), you'll probably be better off, but you should be prepared for stuff to come up for you in the aftermath.

I'd suggest NOT ever telling a future partner unless you're asked directly or there's a need for them to know (e.g. they want to know if you've engaged in any behaviors that put you at a higher STI risk). I think most women don't want to think about their bf's/husbands visiting a prostitute...there's a certain squick factor involved, even though we know men (in general) do it. We just don't want it to be OUR man who has done it. View it like any other sexual partner in your past and don't elaborate unless it comes down to risking lying.

5. What's the experience actually like? I guess you're not going to spend the whole time doing the deed. Do you end up talking about the weather or having a cup of tea or something? That said a nice brew and a biscuit after a good shag does seem appealing.

I don't think you'll be having tea and cookies afterward, quite frankly. I've heard there's usually a bit of small talk/warm up in the beginning, but then most ladies want to get down to business. If you want to socialize, you should hire someone hourly or for the evening vs. by the act.

I absolutely second (third?) the advice to work on yourself and make significant changes so you don't have to resort to paying for sex, since it seems you have reservations about doing so.

I also think it's a fantastic idea for you to go to a reputable brothel in like Amsterdam if you decide to go the prostitute route. It's legal and accepted there, the women are in safe environments and undergo health screenings on a regular basis (absolutely still practice safer sex, but it's some extra assurance for you). Those factors will probably make you more comfortable and feel less guilty about it. I think it'd also be more understandable to a future partner if you checked out the sex scene in Amsterdam while you were on vacation, you know?

Finally, there are whole sites devoted to rating escorts and giving info on experiences. Check those out, for sure. Also, roscorathbone (I think I spelled that right) is a wealth of info right on this site, so maybe PM him for some direction - I know he's referred people to certain review and info sites and has answered a bunch of questions on this subject in the past.

 

[Robbin_Young]

Fyi...

This is a fairly embarrassing question to ask but has anybody ever visited an escort? Has anyone here ever worked as one?

Questions:
1. Do escorts actually 'enjoy' their work? I don't mean sexually, but in terms of job satisfaction and being comfortable with their work. Certainly, some sex workers are exploited, forced into the profession, suffer psychological damage from their work, and dislike doing what they do. I would not want to put someone through that for my own jollies.

Answer 1:
As in most jobs, some days they do enjoy their work, and some days they don't.

It's imperative to find an escort discussion forum, where escorts have reviews written by their former "dates" posted...and, their looks and performance are rated. You're paying, so don't ever settle!

Many escorts love their work and it's why the moniker GFE (Girlfriend Experience) has become so popular. A well-reviewed escort will treat you as if you're on a first date. Would you rather spend the evening with someone bitching about their job, their life, the kids, etc...or, someone who actually listens to you and makes you feel as though you're the only thing in the world that matters to them? That's what a true GFE does...she provides two important things that men seek...attention and discretion. If men just wanted sex, they could go to a "Glory Hole."

And God knows, if Tiger Woods would have hired well-reviewed, discreet escorts, instead of picking up girls in clubs that sold their stories to the tabloids, he might still be married.

2. How might they be with someone who is 'inexperienced' / shy? Do they expect a certain amount of 'performance' ability? I wonder how they as people who spend their time dealing in sex would interact with someone who doesn't.

Answer 2:
The escort is experienced, the client is not expected to be. Again, seek a GFE (and they do advertise as such) because they will make your "date" relaxed, fun, and enjoyable for both of you.

And do bring condoms (in case the escort doesn't) but a well-reviewed escort will ONLY use her own condoms. Some clients are known to stick needles in the condom package, so the condom breaks during sex...allowing them to enjoy giving a creampie (as in porn films) which is VERY disturbing for the escort, to say the least.

3. What's the possible emotional fall-out for someone who does visit escorts? How may it affect future relationships knowing you once paid for sex? Does it become a guilty secret or would you tell a future partner? How would you feel if your partner told you they had previously visited an escort? Could paying for sex further develop any feelings of social inadequacy?

Answer 3:
If you're totally against it, do NOT book a "date" with an escort. If you're just nervous, and are curious to try it...go for it.

Warning: You may enjoy your time with a specific escort and she'll become your friend and ATF (all time favorite) but for God's sake do NOT fall in love with her. This is her job/career...and do NOT forget it.

Years ago, fathers took their virgin sons to brothels, so I really don't understand the issues of "guilt" or "social inadequacy." As long as you're not emotionally hurting yourself, or someone else, and you "play safe" (condoms) I don't understand how anyone could possibly feel guilt or shame.

Let me say this, which will piss off many women, but the law states that prostitution is the exchange of sex for COMPENSATION. Notice how I enlarged that word? Compensation may = money, a dinner, lunch, gift, etc. So, in all actuality, when you go on a date, buy a woman a dinner, and get laid...she is now a prostitute, if she has sex with you!

4. I'm not the best looking of chaps in the world. Do they really charge more for 'ugly' (like someone did for Wayne Rooney)?

Answer 4:
Well-reviewed escorts do NOT charge more for men that don't look like George Clooney.

You're expected to be well-groomed = clean body...shave your face so you don't scratch her skin, or trim your beard, etc....have fresh breath...and well groomed fingernails.

Be a gentleman, kind and respectful, and she'll enjoy your company...which will make for a fabulous "date."

5. What's the experience actually like? I guess you're not going to spend the whole time doing the deed. Do you end up talking about the weather or having a cup of tea or something? That said a nice brew and a biscuit after a good shag does seem appealing.

Answer 5:
Again, seek a well-reviewed GFE, and you will have enjoyable conversation, and passion...not just quick, rushed sex.

Remember, it's YOUR "date" so if you'd like her to have wine, bottled water, tea, and/or food with you...tell her in advance to have it ready in her room...or, order room service, once you are there (but you will need to pay for these extra amentities).

And for your first "date" book one-two hours, no more. If you have chemistry and wish to enjoy another "date" with her, then you may book longer sessions.

**And please, NEVER mention any type of intimate details when booking a well-reviewed escort!!! If you do, she will either not reply to your emails, or she'll immediately hang up...it's improper to EVER discuss sex acts. And do NOT book via Craigslist, Backpage, etc., or you're asking for trouble. Seek a well-reviewed escort via a reputable escort review board, and do your homework before booking. Their rates should be all-inclusive, and there should never be any type of up-selling.**

If you do decide to enjoy a "date" with an escort, I hope you have a wonderful experience, and it will be...if, you want it to be.

Robbin
xoxo

 

[Edith_UK]

I've worked. I'll get back to you.

 

[amofiga]

Shiny

Sorry you've going through such a bad dry period, but frankly, I'm not sure going the "professional sex worker" route is the best thing for several reasons. Personally, I've never visited a professional and don't think I ever would because of those very reasons.

1) From what I've heard from some friends who have been to prositutes, and from what I've read, it's not particularly a good sexual experience unless you're willing to pay really big bucks for a very high priced call girl who is a great "actress" and specializes in making it seem real. For the most part, I think the majority of mid and low level hookers "hate" men for a variety of reasons and use the "pay me for what you need" thing as almost a way of feeling superior and making you feel like a loser in the long run. I had a couple of friends who visited a whore house when they were in college many years ago and they said it felt pretty mechanical and embarassing. They had to "stand inspection" before they were allowed to do anything, and the always knew they were "on the clock". I would not put much faith in the Julia Roberts "Pretty Woman" fantasy where you're going to find a really nice girl who will end up loving you. I tend to think that most prostitutes (again unless you fork up thousands of $$$) are going to make you feel like just a paying customer. For me, I'd just as soon watch porn and jerk off.

2) There's the disease thing. Yeah I know that some countries with legalized prostitution require medical checks and stuff, but unless you want to have sex wearing a wet suit there's risks. Sure, there are risks with regular women too, but I think most people who don't sleep around indiscriminatly and who are reasonably careful are less of a risk. Maybe I'm naive.

If I were you, I'd try to work on that "circle of friends" who might be able to hook you up with some average women who in many ways may be just as shy as you are, and are looking for somebody who cares for them and who they can care for. The online dating thing may work and you could find somebody with a little patience. I have a friend who, after being widowed, found a woman who was also widowed with many of the same feelings and experiences. They've been together now for three years. It's not hopeless.

You say you aren't one of the "best looking of chaps". Hey, most of us don't even come close to George Clooney's big toe. However, there are also a lot of women out there who aren't movie queens either, but they are very nice and very interested in good sex. Some of the best sex partners I've ever had are women that most people probably wouldn't give a second look to. They sure wouldn't stop traffic but they also didn't frighten dogs and little children. I'm often amazed at average guys who keep seeking movie queens when there are zillions of average looking women who are super nice, super kind, very understanding, happy to have a boyfriend, and a hell of a lot crazier in bed then you could ever imagine by looking at them. I have truly been surprised on some occassions. Many intelligent, sweet, "average looking" women are willing to go the extra mile because they know they can't get by on just their looks. They know they aren't going to bag George Clooney and can appreciate an intelligent, sweet, kind "average looking" guy who truly appreciates them in return. That's what most people want anyway. Just to be appreciated and respected for who they are.

Before heading out to pay a hooker for something she's only giving because you're paying for it, I'd let that circle of friends know you're in the market for a nice woman. I'll bet their wives or girlfriends know some women who are also looking. Get involved in some activites that are more than just "male dominated sports". Can you run? Would you do 5K races? Lots of women do. I met women sometimes (back when I was young enough to do 5K's and my hips and knees still worked) just sitting around after the race panting, sweating, and listening to the free concerts they often had before the prize festivities. I met a woman once while running and she was struggling as much as I was to keep pace. We became friends and often met at other races. We were nothing more because we were both married, but I think if we weren't we might have become more than casual race partners. Could you join an athletic club? Sometimes conversations start sweating next to someone on the stair stepper or elliptical machine. Don't key on the chick with the perfect body. If you're not in the greatest of shape, look for a woman who is also working hard to get back into shape. You'll have something in common. Good luck.

 

[wnt2cumnu]

There are a lot of people Not working in the sex industry whom have been raped, beat, and whom are strung out on drugs. I have known escorts whom had bad experiences and I have known a few that had not experienced anything terrible. To most of them its just a job, no diffrent than any other job. They go to work just for the money, same reason I go to work.
I can tell you from experience that they have low expectations on you,
I can also tell you paying for sex is usually cheaper than a dinner & movie. And it's deffinetly cheaper than a trip to the bar (for me anyway).
All depends on what you want. If your looking for love or relationship than that you can not buy. If sex is all you want than prostitute/escort or Not, you ar e still paying one way or another.

 

[Eilan]

Here's an interesting thread.

 

[amofiga]

I can also tell you paying for sex is usually cheaper than a dinner & movie. And it's deffinetly cheaper than a trip to the bar (for me anyway).
All depends on what you want. If your looking for love or relationship than that you can not buy. If sex is all you want than prostitute/escort or Not, you ar e still paying one way or another.

Forgive me and please don't take this as a cheap shot, but that seems like a pretty cynical way of looking at things. I don't say that all relationships are beds of roses nor do I think that they all have to be great romances. I've had some relatively casual ones, but I tend to think that most women who see a guy who they date as weighing the relative cost of dinner and a movie versus paying a hooker as being pretty shallow. Maybe I misundersood you.

 

[kellyz_craic]

This is a fairly embarrassing question to ask but has anybody ever visited an escort? Has anyone here ever worked as one?

Worked as one in the past.

I'm a 31 year old single guy who hasn't had sex in over 3 years and it's starting to get me down that I'm missing out when everyone else seems to be enjoying themselves and this aspect of being a human being. Unfortunately, I can't see this situation changing anytime soon which leads to the conclusion that I should bite the bullet and acknowledge that maybe I've just got to pay for it. Ideally it would be nice to do the normal thing and experience sex as part of a romantic relationship but that's probably not going to happen.

I think you're being a bit defeatist but at the same time, three years is a long dry spell.

My back story (and feel free to skip this bit) is that I've only had one girlfriend / sex partner in my entire life. I've always been fairly shy but I do have a close circle of good friends and also socialise through (male dominated) sports. I don't have that much opportunity though to meet single women which is especially so since my mates are busy settling down with wives and kids. I've tried internet dating but despite going on several dates nothing came of it, probably because I'm pretty clueless about what to do during these meetings. Adult dating sites could be an option but they seem full of scams and also a bit like trying to run before you can walk!

So the plan would be an escort - an independent one with their own accommodation; fairly 'classy'.

To be honest, vetting an escort will take the same amount of effort and thought as vetting a girl on an online dating site. You might want to try one like eharmony that isn't geared so much towards random hook ups.

Use an agency. Agencies keep an eye on their girls, whereas with private girls you don't know what you're getting. Some girls have drink or drug problems or other bad habits that mean an agency won't take them. There are a lot of good private girls out there but it's more of a gamble, is all I'm saying. An agency will make sure pictures are accurate, whereas a private girl can get away with using shots that are years old. You're safer with an agency and if you don't get on with the first girl you meet, there are plenty of others to try.

Questions:
1. Do escorts actually 'enjoy' their work? I don't mean sexually, but in terms of job satisfaction and being comfortable with their work. Certainly, some sex workers are exploited, forced into the profession, suffer psychological damage from their work, and dislike doing what they do. I would not want to put someone through that for my own jollies.

As fas as they can do, yeah. The punter has a better time if she's into it so it's win win. Get a British escort from a site with good client reviews (google for punterlink or similar) and don't use an agency that looks like a bargain because it'll be a false economy.

2. How might they be with someone who is 'inexperienced' / shy? Do they expect a certain amount of 'performance' ability? I wonder how they as people who spend their time dealing in sex would interact with someone who doesn't.

Honestly luv, shy men with performance anxiety are an escort's bread and butter. Any girl with half a brain will be experienced at coaxing you out of your shell. It might be worth making a longer booking so you don't feel rushed and can have more of a date or girlfriend experience. Ask the agency for a girl who offers that service, who's look is 'girl next door' rather than Katie Price. Whatever you want, ask for it and an agency manager with half an eye for the bottom line will do their best to find you someone you'll like.

3. What's the possible emotional fall-out for someone who does visit escorts? How may it affect future relationships knowing you once paid for sex? Does it become a guilty secret or would you tell a future partner? How would you feel if your partner told you they had previously visited an escort? Could paying for sex further develop any feelings of social inadequacy?

How long's a piece of string?

How you'll feel about using escorts depends way to much on your own background and personality for anyone to be able to give you advice. In reality it's more honest than buying some girl drinks all night and then pressuring her into sex or taking advantage of her drunkeness (not that you'd do that, just putting it into perspective). There are a lot of worse things you can do to women.

Some guys get their ego stroked by the fact they're successful enough to be able to afford escorts. They see it as a status thing, like driving a ferrari and it boosts their self esteem. Other guys see it as proof of their insecurities and lose self respect because of it. Also, paying for a hot girl can upset guys because they don't feel they'd ever pull a girl like that in real life. It can be difficult to give up escorts when you meet a nice, averagely attractive girl who's not a slut in bed.

On the other hand...

It can boost a man's confidence to practise his dating techniques on a sure thing. It may be that all you need psychologically is to get past the three year drought and add a notch to your bedpost. If you tell the girl about your situation and insecurities she'll do her best to help you realise that you're not the freak of nature you seem to think you are. If you feel it will help you regain the confidence to ut yourself out there for a new relationship, then great. If you think it'll distract you and give you an excuse not to move on with your lovelife, then that's not so great for you.

4. I'm not the best looking of chaps in the world. Do they really charge more for 'ugly' (like someone did for Wayne Rooney)?

No.

They'll charge extra for unwashed, drunk, high, arrogant, abusive, rough-handed and any number of other things but not ugly.

Get an escort who's in her mid to late 20s, not a teenybopper. She won't be new to the game and she'll know just how daunting it is for a guy like you to book a girl like her. To an escort you're a low STD risk, a nice man who'll treat her with respect. You're intelligent and thoughtful, which will also go a long way. Those are the things escorts look for in punters. To be honest, as soon as I clapped eyes on a handsome punt my heart would sink because I knew he was guaranteed to be an arsehole. When it comes to escorts, your looks really aren't that important.

5. What's the experience actually like? I guess you're not going to spend the whole time doing the deed. Do you end up talking about the weather or having a cup of tea or something? That said a nice brew and a biscuit after a good shag does seem appealing.

It's your time, so the experience is what you make it. The girl will take her cues from you. Usually an hour long booking is 15min of introductions & a glass of wine, half an hour of sex and 15min to get cleaned up, dressed and out.

An escort will find common ground or fake some, to make conversation flow and put you at ease. Try not to ask her too much about herself. Escorts get sick to death of talking about themselves and never want to give out too much info. Treat it like a blind date and just keep things light. Do ask about what she does and doesn't do, encourage her to tell you if you do something she doesn't like and put her at ease that way.

Other tips: If you lock your door, leave the key in it. Make sure she doesn't feel trapped. If you get her a drink, open a sealed bottle and pour it in front of her. Girls are wary of spiked drinks. Have your condoms in a sealed package but she'll probably bring her own. Have some KY. Make sure your bathroom's clean with fresh towels and soap. Don't leave the room for more than a couple of minutes without telling her what you're up to. Don't have your computer on or a camera anywhere in sight. Pay her up front. Do what you can to help her relax in your company.

Be wary of: Girls on drugs. Lots of girls use cocaine and speed to stay thin & fuck all night. If you see any needle marks or bruised veins don't touch her. Use your brain - if she looks like shit or she's too pepped there's a reason for it. Don't leave small valuables out or let her wander around your home. Don't leave her to her own devices for more than a couple of minutes. Be savvy.

Oh and listen to Edie, that girl's seen it all.

 

[shiny5437]

Wow - a wide variety of responses. I appreciate everyone taking the time.

I need to have a think about them, I'll write a fuller response then. I'm a little more mixed up about it now!

And ....
how's that working out for you ?
It's not !

Thats what you should be putting your energy into : getting UN-SHY!
Why?
Because being shy gets you nowhere!
The rest of the world is getting on with it while you are " to shy ".

Actually the whole shyness thing has worked out pretty well - it got me a good degree, a decent job which pretty much revolves around communication, and because I've had to work on my social skills I can pretty much get along with anyone. It just doesn't get me laid.

 

[bone251]

.......................

 

[charlie069]

punternet

there is a site in the uk called punternet.com which lets you read reviews on working girls by name or town check it out for any in your area.

 

[Edith_UK]

Oh and listen to Edie, that girl's seen it all.

Ahahaha. You know, I came back to add summat to this thread, then I read your post and thought, oh I don't need to kelly's got it covered, then I saw the end bit and pissed myself laughing

Only think I'd add is that I'd tend towards recommending an indie rather than an agency girl, only cos they tend to be girls/women with more experience of working as a generalisation. But there are positives and negatives for each.

Check out punternet for field reports, check on adultwork .com for feedback from other punters. My advice would be don't pay less than £100. Now some girls might kick my arse for saying that, but generally you get what you pay for.

Also: cheaper girls you have to beware bait n switch (where the girl advertised aint the same girl working, or a different woman answers the phone to the one you see in the bedroom). A lot of trafficked girls are worked bait and switch (as they don't speak English). Also look out for FRs where it's like 'girl was not responsive, girl just led there, didn't speak any English at all, minder/booker obviously outside' etc.

And obv if you have ANY reason to suspect a girl is trafficked, forced or being worked under coercion or threats then leave immediately and call the police.

Good post kellz *high five*, listen up shiny cos she's offered you the best advice your gonna get

 

[bailadora]

Forgive me and please don't take this as a cheap shot, but that seems like a pretty cynical way of looking at things. I don't say that all relationships are beds of roses nor do I think that they all have to be great romances. I've had some relatively casual ones, but I tend to think that most women who see a guy who they date as weighing the relative cost of dinner and a movie versus paying a hooker as being pretty shallow. Maybe I misundersood you.

If you did, you're not the only one. I, too, read that and thought, "WTF?"

 

[IrishEyes80]

I'm a 31 year old single guy who hasn't had sex in over 3 years and it's starting to get me down that I'm missing out when everyone else seems to be enjoying themselves and this aspect of being a human being. Unfortunately, I can't see this situation changing anytime soon which leads to the conclusion that I should bite the bullet and acknowledge that maybe I've just got to pay for it. Ideally it would be nice to do the normal thing and experience sex as part of a romantic relationship but that's probably not going to happen.

My back story (and feel free to skip this bit) is that I've only had one girlfriend / sex partner in my entire life. I've always been fairly shy but I do have a close circle of good friends and also socialise through (male dominated) sports. I don't have that much opportunity though to meet single women which is especially so since my mates are busy settling down with wives and kids. I've tried internet dating but despite going on several dates nothing came of it, probably because I'm pretty clueless about what to do during these meetings. Adult dating sites could be an option but they seem full of scams and also a bit like trying to run before you can walk!



4. I'm not the best looking of chaps in the world.


--Actually the whole shyness thing has worked out pretty well - it got me a good degree, a decent job which pretty much revolves around communication, and because I've had to work on my social skills I can pretty much get along with anyone. It just doesn't get me laid.

You sound like you are looking for a relationship rather than just get laid.

I would say you just need some confidence....it's great that you have your life going in a good direction, even if you're not the "best looking" guy in the world a guy with a stable life that has friends and knows where he is going means way more to women (IMO) at least it does to me.....take the pride you have in other aspects of your life and use it to your advantage. You will have to put yourself out there, try not to worry so much about what you should do in a dating situation and just hang out like you would with your friends.

 

[sweetmoonbeam]

I don't know why, but I'm completely riveted by this thread.


I wish Edith, Kellyz, and Robbin would open an advice column "Ask a call-girl" thread, because I have many questions. Not so much about prostitution. I don’t think that’s in my future. But, concerning men, sex, and life in general, there is probably no better source of insight than a prostitute, in my (rather naïve and probably foolish) opinion.

 

[subwannabe]

This could wind up being one of those "be careful what you wish for" kind of things. I think some have hit the nail on the head by suggesting that maybe you need to address your own problems in order to have a more permanent solution to your problem. Your solution is more like throwing in the towel, which will ultimately lead you to travel down the wrong road, which may be a dead end to solving your overall problem.

 

[Edith_UK]

I don't know why, but I'm completely riveted by this thread.


I wish Edith, Kellyz, and Robbin would open an advice column "Ask a call-girl" thread, because I have many questions. Not so much about prostitution. I don’t think that’s in my future. But, concerning men, sex, and life in general, there is probably no better source of insight than a prostitute, in my (rather naïve and probably foolish) opinion.

That does sound a little naive darlin but ask anyway if you want, why not?

 

[sweetmoonbeam]

That does sound a little naive darlin but ask anyway if you want, why not?

I may take you up on that. Thanks!

 

[Felix_Jones]

Answers

Questions:
1. Do escorts actually 'enjoy' their work? I don't mean sexually, but in terms of job satisfaction and being comfortable with their work. Certainly, some sex workers are exploited, forced into the profession, suffer psychological damage from their work, and dislike doing what they do. I would not want to put someone through that for my own jollies.

I guess they like it enough to continue doing it. The ones I've visited didn't seem like they exactly hated to have me over. I didn't feel rushed or tentative.
2. How might they be with someone who is 'inexperienced' / shy? Do they expect a certain amount of 'performance' ability? I wonder how they as people who spend their time dealing in sex would interact with someone who doesn't.

Nope. Most explicitly state on their websites that they particularly specialize with guys who are reticent/shy/don't know what they want/etc.

3. What's the possible emotional fall-out for someone who does visit escorts? How may it affect future relationships knowing you once paid for sex? Does it become a guilty secret or would you tell a future partner? How would you feel if your partner told you they had previously visited an escort? Could paying for sex further develop any feelings of social inadequacy?

I don't exactly tell anyone. Nor would I, it's none of their business. Hordes of women see it as a stigma though, so if you do happen to get into a relationship at some point after you visit an escort you might want to keep that to yourself. It's not like you tell potential relationship partners everything about yourself in the first place anyway.
What offsets any feelings of inadequacy is the fact that I paid $350 for an hour of the service. Being able to afford that much (for me anyway) certainly makes me feel adequate.

4. I'm not the best looking of chaps in the world. Do they really charge more for 'ugly' (like someone did for Wayne Rooney)?

Nope. She probably charged more for Rooney because she knew he was mega-rich. I've seen escort's websites that specifically state that they don't discriminate based on race, appearance, age, etc. I look like a cross between an Englush thug and a Russian thug, I honestly scare people. I've never had any kind of problem with it with escorts.

5. What's the experience actually like? I guess you're not going to spend the whole time doing the deed. Do you end up talking about the weather or having a cup of tea or something? That said a nice brew and a biscuit after a good shag does seem appealing.

So far so good. Think of it as a service industry. They know how to make clients feel comfortable. As long as you're mature, easy-going, and reasonable there's really nothing all that remarkable about the whole experience. I mean, other than the sexual thrill of course.

 

[Felix_Jones]

One Last Thing

Oh one last thing. I've only ever visited independents, all experiences were better than good. Agency girls tend to be new and/or trafficed. You can usually tell when a girl can't speak a lick of English.

 

[wnt2cumnu]

amofiga
You would be right. I have never denied being a shallow person. And I am aware that paying for sex is viewed as wrong. And some people have high morales & values, but I do not. I have had a few Ltr's that were very full filling. But in between those relationships, I had the desire to have sex, and for myself I have found at times when I know sex is all I want, its cheaper, easier & quicker to just by sex than to go through all the Bs of finding a partner. I have gone to clubs/bars and met someone and had sex that night (thats no safer that a prostitute). so while paying for sex is not for all, it dose work for some. I would not have a escort/prostitute come to my house, unless it was through a legit agency. If there a independent they should have a place. I personally prefer to go for a massage & pay extra for the happy ending. And every once in a while I have a stripper girl I know come by after work & give me a so called private dance. Its much cheaper than going on some date that I dont want to go on just to get a girl in bed.