Somewhere, between black and white

[chauderlos]

discovered Lit.

 

[Vixandra]

There are those who possess the ability to go from submissive to dominant, slave to Master.
They're called Switches and the ones I've met so far are very cool people.

Or is that not the answer you were looking for?

 

[O'Mac]

Ever since I discovered Lit., the BDSM forum has been a place I didn't dare entering, let alone contributing. I hovered around, took an occasional glance inside, not more. This place is dangerous for me. Its content could challenge the little certitude I have left. It may question too many things inside me. It will, eventually, unleash passions and hidden desires I fought so hard to suppress, or at least control.

I cannot picture myself as a dominant, that's for sure. Nor can I see clearly myself as a sub.

So, I was wondering: is there a place for someone in between. If BDSM is black or white, can one be... gray? Someone who cannot (or doesn't want to) decide whether he is PYL or pyl, who'd rather be PyL (or better pYl, if you can get hold of the difference…). The Master, the salve, and the servant. A form of non-commitment, sure.

I add that I never really experienced a D/s relationship, so my vision of it could be more on a theoretical or esthetical point of view.

(I would hereby express my gratitude and affection to someone I met here, who explained so much about this; and to her master, who didn't mind her talking to me.)

Umm, yes. Well melodrama aside, the BDSM lifestyle to me is pretty flexible in that I can choose what role I want, whenever I want to. I'm a beginner Dom, but I've been Sub a few times just to better understand what sort of feelings and sensations my pet goes through when I'm in control. Switches have the distinct advantage of finding pleasure in both roles, either being controlled or in control of another, and that seems to work fine for them. If you wanted to be more clear cut, all I can advise is to try it out for yourself and see if it's your thing.

 

[Guest]

 

[landcruisergal]

Horses for courses,

I was a sub when I first found lit.
At the moment I am a switch.
Shortly I will be just a femdom. For a time anyway....
There are so many wonderful variations.
Welcome.

 

[chauderlos]

Six months

 

[Red Sonja]

It's been a long time since I first posted here. Six months later, I still have a lot of questions. And doubts.
But this is one of the many paths that can lead to wisdom, or so I heard.

I've done a lot of reading, here, or elsewhere. Learned a few things. Experienced a little. Some stuff I read made me think. Some left me panting with desire. Some disgusted me. Some people around here made me laugh, or smile, or wishing I could get to know them better. Some helped me finding my way. Others seemed just to be perfect assholes.
But then, who am I to express such judgements on others?

Among the things I've learned, there is one I wished to share with you. Discovered isn't the right word, it's like if I knew it for a long time, but suddenly it came, pop !, like a blinding evidence. It works for every kind of relationship, by the way, should it be vanilla, D/s, you name it.

The important thing is LOVE. And understanding. And communication. And listening.

Once you've got this, you can get everything.

OK, it may not be the piece of information that will change the face of the world, or the way you live your life. But, well, sometimes it's good to remind evidences.

I wish you all, and those you love, a very happy Chrismas time, and all the best for the coming year.

Best wishes to you and yours for the same. And I think you are right, sometimes the obvious needs to be restated because otherwise it is all too easy to overlook.

 

[FurryFury]

It's been a long time since I first posted here. Six months later, I still have a lot of questions. And doubts.
But this is one of the many paths that can lead to wisdom, or so I heard.

I've done a lot of reading, here, or elsewhere. Learned a few things. Experienced a little. Some stuff I read made me think. Some left me panting with desire. Some disgusted me. Some people around here made me laugh, or smile, or wishing I could get to know them better. Some helped me finding my way. Others seemed just to be perfect assholes.
But then, who am I to express such judgements on others?

Among the things I've learned, there is one I wished to share with you. Discovered isn't the right word, it's like if I knew it for a long time, but suddenly it came, pop !, like a blinding evidence. It works for every kind of relationship, by the way, should it be vanilla, D/s, you name it.

The important thing is LOVE. And understanding. And communication. And listening.

Once you've got this, you can get everything.

OK, it may not be the piece of information that will change the face of the world, or the way you live your life. But, well, sometimes it's good to remind evidences.

I wish you all, and those you love, a very happy Chrismas time, and all the best for the coming year.

Chauderlos,

Welcome to the board. I've been intrigued by you for a long time due to a thread you co-wrote in the SRP. One about a shoe store, the title of it eludes me.

I also was confused in my role at first. I enjoyed both sides of the coin in online role play, much to my surprise. That rp was not even sexual but power exchange only. It did however turn me on in a real life sexual way.

I reserve the right to change my role at any time but lately I've been feeling very submissive. Part of the confusion might stem from that love and communication that you speak of. I agree it is the most important thing. I could never be interested in power exchange with someone I didn't trust and love in some way.

My man, he also feels submissive and so he needs me to take the reigns from time to time. Anyone outside of our relationship would never guess that either of us would feel submissive in the bedroom. At least I don't think they would but we do for each other in this area as we can. We enjoy giving the other what they crave or as close to it as we can come.

I hope you enjoy your time on the boards and exploring your differing sides or needs.

Fury

 

[chauderlos]

Thank you

 

[FurryFury]

<snip>
Fury,
Thanks for your welcome, althrough I'm not that new on the board.
The story you mention is called Heels Desire and will never be finished *shrug*. Glad you enjoyed it.

I'm sorry Chauderlos. I didn't mean to imply that you are new. I can look at your post count and see that you are not. However I hadn't seen you post here much and so that's why I said what I did. No offense was intended.

Yes, Heals Desire! When you started it, I thought about applying for the part but I wasn't sure where it was going and was just in general unsure about myself writing SRP's at that time.

So many stories, most are never finished, it is sad to me, painful even if I'm writing in it but it is life.

However your Heals Desire was above the rest of the fray and note worthy. I'm trying to appreciate the time and enjoyment I get out of such stories when I write on them even if they are such fleeting and sometimes frustrating things.

I did like it very much as I'm sure many others did.



Fury

 

[chauderlos]

Thanks

 

[FurryFury]

Heals Desire... would it be a freudian slip - healing desire?
(no offence meant, for sure, the same as no offence was taken when you implied that I was a newbie).

Thanks for your compliment about that story. I hope that, if she still hovers around here, Diamantine will read it... The story owes much more to her than to me.
I tried to explain, through fantasy, the way I feel (felt?) towards these strange relationships that imply strength and tenderness, power and weaknesses, the same and the contrary...

Lord knows it could be just that, a Freudian slip. I could sure use some healing, well harming and healing LOL! I always have desire though and too damn much of it today for sure.

You are very welcome for the compliment it is well deserved.

Fury

 

[chauderlos]

Here is

 

[FurryFury]

That is a lovely, lovely poem!

I do hope the lady you wrote that for appreciated such a marvelous gift.

Fury

 

[babiesmiles]

.

*****​

Laisse moi te parfumer, te maquiller
Serrer les liens de ton corset
Lorsque ton maître te demande

Laisse moi te serrer dans mes bras
Tandis que le cuir cingle ta peau
Et boire tes larmes

Laisse moi te tenir la main
Lorsqu'il déchire tes reins
Embrasser tes cris

Laisse moi être près de toi, après
Te laver, apaiser ta douleur
Veiller sur ton sommeil

Laisse moi t'aimer, sans retour…


Please, let me prepare you, let me paint your lips
Let me tighten the laces of your corset
When your Master waits for you

Please, let me hold you close
While his leather whips your soft skin
And drink at your tears

Please, let me hold your hand
When he claims you
And embrace your cries

Please, let me be near you
Wash your sore flesh, smoothen your pain
Watch over your sleep

Please let me love you, expecting nothing in return…

It's really a good poem , evocative and full of manly grace . I liked it.
The lady who ispired you is a lucky one

 

[Yggdrasil]

Chauderlos!
You are a gifted man...lucky to have met someone who were there for you in your thinking. I loved your poem..it made me 'shiver' when I think of my own situation

I am too a gifted man. I have too met a friend...a proud woman...a strong, witty, argumentaive sub...who were there for me...a confused friar's lantern on a stormy ocean in life.
Never will she understand the impact she had on me, when she gave me those numberless hours of talking, twisting minds, sharing inner feelings, understandings...to make me understand..be 'a whole'..to grow into my Masterhood.

Thank you Stormwind .....A Master's delight