Sometimes I wonder...

[lil_jenni]

Sometimes I wonder... whether I would be submissive, or at least as submissive as I am, if the first guy I was ever with had not been so pathologically dominant.

 

[Daddysfatwhore]

Same here sort of. My first half dozen sexual partners were very dominant and required me to be submissive.

 

[lil_jenni]

Sometimes I wonder... if my Hubby gets tired of my frequent need of reassurance that I am worthy of what I have with him. It's not as bad as it used to be, but I fear he will come to resent it.

Anything you all wonder about sometimes?

 

[JohnnyPump1970]

I sometimes wonder if we are headed more towards a life similar to the movie Idiocracy, or more towards Rand's Atlas Shrugged. And how quickly we will reach one or the other.

I also wonder if my dog loves me or treats more...

 

[lil_jenni]

Sometimes I wonder why Hubby seems to go through spurts of heightened sexual activity and other times I have to initiate sex because he seems... well, not quite disinterested but perhaps ambivalent, I guess. Some of it is work related, I know, but some isn't.

The week before last we fucked almost every night, including him waking me in the middle of the night during the middle of the week and fucking me hard. Then the weekend came, and it was sex once (I initiated) and two BJs (both I initiated). After that, his parents were here for Thanksgiving, so that accounts for last week with almost nothing happening. They left Friday afternoon, and after that Hubby's been wanting to fuck me every chance we get, which is fine with me.

If this was an isolated thing, or just related to his parents being at our house part of the week, I'd understand that. But it happens a fair amount, just not in a regular pattern. It's like he forgets about sex for days at a time, during which he's responsive when I start things but would probably be okay if I didn't. I know women who say they are like this, and I was for most of the year after the kiddo was born, but is it normal for men?

I love, love, love my Hubby, and I know we have a fantastic sex life, so I don't want this to sound like I'm complaining. But sometimes I wonder if this is a sign of things to come, when these passive periods for him become more frequent or for longer periods of time. I also worry maybe I'm not as attractive to him as I used to be, but I suspect that's just my insecurities.

 

[mustang_driver]

Sometimes I wonder if lovemaking and sex would mean more to my wife if she wasn't so easy when she was a teenager. I've learned since being married that she slept with most guys on the first date, had one night stands, and even slept with friends just because she needed to get fucked. On the other hand, I had very little sex before we met. On our first night together, she stopped me from going very far and I was won over instantly because she wasn't one of those girls. She has since admitted that I was the first guy in a long time that she didn't sleep with right away. Sex to me is a very important way of connecting and adding meaning to our relationship. For her, however, she doesn't seem to place any meaning on it...just a way to get off. And so, our sex life seriously lacks and she doesn't put much into it. I now feel very cheated.

 

[lil_jenni]

Sometimes I wonder if lovemaking and sex would mean more to my wife if she wasn't so easy when she was a teenager. I've learned since being married that she slept with most guys on the first date, had one night stands, and even slept with friends just because she needed to get fucked. On the other hand, I had very little sex before we met. On our first night together, she stopped me from going very far and I was won over instantly because she wasn't one of those girls. She has since admitted that I was the first guy in a long time that she didn't sleep with right away. Sex to me is a very important way of connecting and adding meaning to our relationship. For her, however, she doesn't seem to place any meaning on it...just a way to get off. And so, our sex life seriously lacks and she doesn't put much into it. I now feel very cheated.

Yeah, that's tough. I was like your wife before I met my Hubby. And I have to admit that sex being more than just sex is something it's taken me time to get used to. That's not to say it didn't mean more with Hubby from the beginning--it did because of how comfortable and relaxed he made me, and how nice he is. But at first sex was just really good sex. Then it was great sex. And then at some point it was more, but every time I felt that way in the first year or so of our relationship, I pulled back and focused on the sex, on getting off and getting him off. And it's happened sometimes since. I went through a phase with Hubby where only rough sex could get me off most of the time. It's what I thought I deserved, and I thought that if I let myself want more it would all go away, so I didn't let it mean more than a rough fuck from the man I loved. And I loved him, and I wanted only him, but sometimes I didn't want fucking to mean anything more than fucking. I know, it sounds crazy, but it was how I felt sometimes. It was a defense mechanism mixed with self-esteem issues.

One thing that really started to change my attitude was one night that Hubby tied me up. I thought he was going to use me hard like usually happens when I'm tied up, and I was down for that, but he pampered me and licked me and made love to me for a loooong time. it was unexpected and frightening and wonderful as hell. It was about more than sex, but it was awesome sex too, and it contained an element of kink too. After that, I've been much more open to mixing meaningful love making in with fucking.