Sometimes I get reflective

[Sandia]

Sometimes I get reflective, and I think about how careful we all are. And I wonder: what are we saving ourselves for?

 

[Siren]

 

[WhatsHerName]

Sometimes I wonder the same thing...you only live once right....was is the point in being careful?

 

[IrishWolfhound]

Re: Re: Sometimes I get reflective

I bet you get a hellva sunburn when outside in the summertime.

No... but I think that's a glaring error on your part.

 

[Sillyman]

Normally, I'm opaque.

Really, time is quite valuable. Saving towards an indetermined future is silly though.

 

[binkley]

And then I realize I can see myself in the mirror and I say, thank goodness I'm not a vampire yet.

 

[Soblue]

Siren, you're a crack up

Speaking of reflective though, I think you should die with no regrets. Take care of the people you love, and take care of yourself. Don't live to please other people, you only get one chance at living.

 

[Nora]

Well, my answer is a variation on Soblue's. I don't live to please other people, so I'm careful in going about getting what I want. lol Sometimes not careful enough, but I do try.

Why should I devalue myself or my needs or my desires by accepting something that's inferior to what I really want? If that means passing up products that I know ahead of time will be less than I want, be them people, experiences, whatever, then so be it.

At the end of my life I don't want to look back and say, "Well gee, good thing I had all those empty, pointless and unpleasant experiences and relationships! Boy, I surely do feel fulfilled!"

 

[Sandia]

Re: Re: Sometimes I get reflective

I bet you get a hellva sunburn when outside in the summertime.

If I was reflective I wouldn't get a sunburn, silly!

 

[Siren]

 

[peachykeen]

I think I'd like to have the term 'careful' better defined. Cuz I'm thinking, it's easier to say "just live for tdoay!" if you don't have to think about what are your kids going to eat tomorrow.

 

[Sandia]

"Well gee, good thing I had all those empty, pointless and unpleasant experiences and relationships! Boy, I surely do feel fulfilled!"

This is definitely not a good thing to say at the end of your life.

 

[Siren]

Re: Re: Re: Sometimes I get reflective

 

[Sandia]

I'm a pretty sensitive person. So my first post is what I tell myself when I feel hurt. Sometimes it helps.

I figure I've got an eternity of feeling nothing. So why start now?

 

[Sandia]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Sometimes I get reflective

yep sun would reflect onto you and the heat would be immense......
not only would you burn
but you would also burn everyone around you as well.

I guess that would depend on if I was reflective all over, or just on parts of myself...

 

[takingchances42]

At the end of my life I don't want to look back and say, "Well gee, good thing I had all those empty, pointless and unpleasant experiences and relationships! Boy, I surely do feel fulfilled!"

True, if you look at it from that perspective.

But every relationship should involve something unique and wonderful -- even if it doesn't last. Something doesn't have to last a lifetime to be a precious gift.

Passing encounters can be empty and meaningless -- or there can be something so sizzling about them that you still get a smile on your face when you think about it ten or twenty years later.

I'm not arguing for giving up lifelong love in search of random encounters -- if you are fortunate enough to have that in the first place. But journeys take many forms, and there are delights and treasures to be found in each path, if you are open to them...

 

[Soblue]

You know tc, I really agree with that. I have a talent for forgetting the bad stuff. So I look back on all my relationships and see the good things, everyone touched me in some way or there wouldn't have been a relationship.

And as far as your kids starving, I don't mean be selfish. Part of my passion is to take care of those I love. So that's just part of the deal in my decisions.

 

[Nora]

True, if you look at it from that perspective.

But every relationship should involve something unique and wonderful -- even if it doesn't last. Something doesn't have to last a lifetime to be a precious gift.

Passing encounters can be empty and meaningless -- or there can be something so sizzling about them that you still get a smile on your face when you think about it ten or twenty years later.

I'm not arguing for giving up lifelong love in search of random encounters -- if you are fortunate enough to have that in the first place. But journeys take many forms, and there are delights and treasures to be found in each path, if you are open to them...

I agree, actually, but I can only speak to what *I* want from an experience or relationship, not what anyone else wants, of course.

Presuming we're talking about um. Interpersonal relationships of an intimate nature, I don't think an encounter has to be THE ONE for it to be a quality experience.

I do think though that there's a difference in my expectations between something I *know* is a one-shot deal and something that although not lasting, isn't exactly a quicky in the back alley behind The Hole in the Wall with their bouncer. Eeps. Uh..not that that happened. I think there are still minimum requirements of honesty and respect and affection that have to be met for it to qualify as a "positive experience" for me.

In general I'm cautious. I get buyer's remorse after spending $10 on a new product at the grocery store. lol I believe in receiving value for what I put out, though. Whether it be money or friendship or work (ugh, the BAD word!) or sexual intimacy.

 

[takingchances42]

I agree, actually, but I can only speak to what *I* want from an experience or relationship, not what anyone else wants, of course.

Presuming we're talking about um. Interpersonal relationships of an intimate nature, I don't think an encounter has to be THE ONE for it to be a quality experience.

I do think though that there's a difference in my expectations between something I *know* is a one-shot deal and something that although not lasting, isn't exactly a quicky in the back alley behind The Hole in the Wall with their bouncer. Eeps. Uh..not that that happened. I think there are still minimum requirements of honesty and respect and affection that have to be met for it to qualify as a "positive experience" for me.

In general I'm cautious. I get buyer's remorse after spending $10 on a new product at the grocery store. lol I believe in receiving value for what I put out, though. Whether it be money or friendship or work (ugh, the BAD word!) or sexual intimacy.

Oh, I want it too. Wish I still had it. But life doesn't always work out that way.

I didn't mean to disagree, or say that your expectations are not the right and best thing, either for you or anyone else. Just that there are many paths, and many beautiful things to be found along each of those paths if we stop and appreciate them -- even if the path in question isn't the one that would be our first choice.

After looking at how badly I mangled that metaphor -- it is definitely bedtime for Bonzo!

 

[Siren]

 

[Nora]

Oh, I want it too. Wish I still had it. But life doesn't always work out that way.

I didn't mean to disagree, or say that your expectations are not the right and best thing, either for you or anyone else. Just that there are many paths, and many beautiful things to be found along each of those paths if we stop and appreciate them -- even if the path in question isn't the one that would be our first choice.

After looking at how badly I mangled that metaphor -- it is definitely bedtime for Bonzo!

I guess what I mean is that there's a limit to how much I'm willing to negotiate my wants for those "moments" on any of the paths in question. *grin*

At the ripe old age of 32 I've learned that certain things, althought hey may feel nifty at the time, are going to leave me feeling like crap later (not tequila, though. I refuse to learn my lesson about tequila!). So I avoid those things. Or I try to.

lol g'night Bonzo =)

 

[Nora]

sounds like it is difficult for you to treat yourself....be it purchases or relationships.

Let go.

realize to spoil yourself will not only make you feel good
but also save you from burn out.

Maybe, but I think it's more of a cost/benefit thang to me. Is the cost later going to be worth the temporary benefit?

Say I really wanna go buy everything in sight at Bath & Body Works, for example. A deep, dark secret of mind is that I *seriously* love all that smelly, girly, frou-frou stuff. I crave it like other women crave shoes or lipsticks. The problem is that I can't afford it. I could pull out a credit card and buy it anyway, but then later when I feel like crap cuz I'm being harrassed by collections agencies, there's just not going to be much pleasure in using those bath salts. Or they'll be all used up and I'll still be stuck with a bill I can't pay.


To me, the same principle holds in intimate relationships. Something fleeting might feel damned fine at the time, but later how will I feel about it? Will the emotional price be higher than I can afford? Is it worth it for something that's used up and gone?

So, for me it's better to stick to things and people for whom I can more readily judge their quality to me.

 

[Siren]

Nora........

 

[Nora]

Oh, I think if there's actually a chance for something good I don't blind myself to it. The trick is not doing it the other way. Convincing myself that there's something good where there's just simply nothing. THAT is what I wanna avoid.

But thank you, Sirenita, for giving a damn. See? When I first started talking with you, I knew *immediately* that you were quality and well worth the risk of opening up to.

I heart you muchly, Sirenita =)

 

[Siren]