something you dont hear on here a lot

[horsie_gurl]

I'm still a virgin. 100%. (well except for masturbation of course )Truth be told i have never kissed a girl or guy, never touched said girl or guy, nor have i had sex with either girls or guys. Yes i know i am missing out. Just one question. I read all these stories, see all the porn films...is the real thing anything like that?

 

[only_more_so]

I'm still a virgin. 100%. (well except for masturbation of course )Truth be told i have never kissed a girl or guy, never touched said girl or guy, nor have i had sex with either girls or guys. Yes i know i am missing out. Just one question. I read all these stories, see all the porn films...is the real thing anything like that?

It can be, but not for everyone. Most people never experience threesomes, or more-somes as seen in pornos. It is never quite as clean as it seems, but then again some people enjoy the sweat and smells that are generated.

But pornos seldom show the emotional aspect (and even then it isn't much). Even most of the stories you'll read on here neglect that aspect. And the emotions change from before, to during to after. And each time it could be different.

Also, as the saying goes, "Your results may vary." Some people don't have it in them to have the wild thrashing orgasms you sometimes see and hear about. There are those who only fuck, there are those who only make love, and there are some who do both (sometimes even at the same time).

Don't think about it as missing out though. Putting too much pressure on having it happen is a good way to be disappointed, or having the anticipation ruin the enjoyment.

BTW, this thread might be better on one of the other boards. I would avoid the general board since they can be a bit wild there. Try How To Cafe, they are nice folks over there.

 

[tanyachrs]

Porn is an idealized version of sex.

Visual porn is idealized in the sense that everyone is perfectly beautiful, well hung, and capable of having an orgasm just from being looked at from across the room. The guys are always hard and come on cue. The woman can all deep throat and come constantly. There are no consequences or glitches (that aren't edited out).

Written porn is emotionally idealized - actions always get the desired reaction. If I lick someone's ear lobe, he shivers with delight instead of giggling cause he's ticklish there. If I tell a subby to do something, he gets hard doing it, instead of complaining that's not how he likes to be topped. At the end of the story, they're true lovers or they go their separate ways with a secret smile, but whichever they do, it's what they've both chosen.

Real life sex is a compromise. Clothes are awkward to remove, not everyone likes what you want to do, lots of people are bad at what you wish they'd be good at, and very few people are gorgeous with their clothes off. Then afterwards it sometimes turns out that you wanted different things to happen next. One person walks off whistling while the other feels hurt or used.

On top of that, first time sex is the worst. It takes practice and communication to get it right. So try not to expect perfection. Expect a lot of fumbling, a little pain, and try to make sure you've got the right first partner who will come back and do it again and do it better and make you glad you did it.

 

[SimonBrooke]

Briefly, yes

I'm still a virgin. 100%. (well except for masturbation of course )Truth be told i have never kissed a girl or guy, never touched said girl or guy, nor have i had sex with either girls or guys. Yes i know i am missing out. Just one question. I read all these stories, see all the porn films...is the real thing anything like that?

Sex genuinely is pretty wonderful. That's not to say that all sex is always good, but at it's best it is the best thing you will ever experience. It's also wired into very deep instinctive drives way below rational thought,m and therefore makes you emotionally vulnerable. There's a lot of pain that lurks in the depth of involvement you get with other people through sexual relationships, but on the whole I think most of us would say they're way more than worth it.

Choose your first - man or woman - carefully. Experience, sensitivity and respect for you are the key qualities you're looking for.