Something I saw once..

[jadefirefly]

Somewhere on this board, I don't recall if it was a sig, a statement, or something that was linked, I once saw a cute phrase.

"A sub without a Dom is still a sub, but a Dom without a sub is just a person with a lot of weird toys!"

I remember thinking it was kinda cute, and kinda funny. And maybe even a little bit true.

But y'know what?

A sub without a Dom is actually a grumpy, frustrated, pissed off little thing. And this one has absolutely no damn idea of what to do about it -- this is the first time this kind of antsiness and frustration has hit me like this (or at least the first time I've recognized it for what it was) and I'm making myself -more- annoyed at not knowing how to deal with it.

I can't very well spank myself, here!

I think I'd like to hit something. I'm just afraid I'll break something. (Me, not an object!)

 

[the captians wench]

I can't very well spank myself, here!

I don't know about that. *giggles*

but seriously I do feel for you dear. I know how it is to crave that firm hand. *hugs* If I could I'm muster up what little domminess is in me and help you out.

 

[jadefirefly]

Oh, it's okay. Don't worry about it.

I'm just not sure how the rest of y'all handle it, is all. I quit smoking without batting an eye. (The caffiene-intake reduction is harder, interestingly enough.) But I can't figure out how the heck to deal with this.

Oy.

 

[SummerMorning]

Somewhere on this board, I don't recall if it was a sig, a statement, or something that was linked, I once saw a cute phrase.

"A sub without a Dom is still a sub, but a Dom without a sub is just a person with a lot of weird toys!"

I remember thinking it was kinda cute, and kinda funny. And maybe even a little bit true.

But y'know what?

A sub without a Dom is actually a grumpy, frustrated, pissed off little thing. And this one has absolutely no damn idea of what to do about it -- this is the first time this kind of antsiness and frustration has hit me like this (or at least the first time I've recognized it for what it was) and I'm making myself -more- annoyed at not knowing how to deal with it.

I can't very well spank myself, here!

I think I'd like to hit something. I'm just afraid I'll break something. (Me, not an object!)

Ohh ... poor little bird! Too bad the worst thing the net can serve up is a virtual trout smack ...

We could set up a committee to administrate tasks and punishments for you. You know, a Dom-ocracy.

 

[SummerMorning]

Oh, it's okay. Don't worry about it.

I'm just not sure how the rest of y'all handle it, is all. I quit smoking without batting an eye. (The caffiene-intake reduction is harder, interestingly enough.) But I can't figure out how the heck to deal with this.

Oy.

Why do you even want to deal with this?

 

[gingermango]

I can relate to your feelings. When I was a grumpy, frustrated, pissed off sub without a Domme, it resulted in me doing some things which turned out to be stupid and painful in the short run but (very eventually) healthy and productive in the long run and I became free to find and devote myself to my Goddess. I've been MUCH happier since then.

I'd suggest you sit down and try to think analytically about what you want out of a dominant/submissive relationship, then go seek to make it happen.

 

[jadefirefly]

Ohh ... poor little bird! Too bad the worst thing the net can serve up is a virtual trout smack ...

We could set up a committee to administrate tasks and punishments for you. You know, a Dom-ocracy.

*giggle* I like that word. I'll have to remember that.

I'd suggest you sit down and try to think analytically about what you want out of a dominant/submissive relationship, then go seek to make it happen.

I did that once, and I had that once, and two weeks ago he left me. So while this is driving me absolutely batty, I'm thinking that any sort of actual relationship at this point is not quite healthy. That's part of my frustration is that I'm not sure I ought to go out and make it happen right now.

PS -- I love your username.

 

[gingermango]

PS -- I love your username.

Thanks! It's a flavor of lip balm from Kiss My Face. Goddess thought it would make a great porn name.

I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough time. That just sucks. I can understand why you might not want to think too much another relationship right now.

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

Jade your not stupid so you already know a bad D/s relationship is a damn sight worse than none its the same as any type but 'loaded'. Thats the only type you would be 'drawn' to currently so thats out.

For the physical symptoms exercise, don't try and sit still in front of a damn computer 'working things out' . You need to reflect and regroup find ways to let that energy go as you do. You know what you like, I swim, its meditative for me. Change your routine and habits outside of commited hours ( ie work) , do attainable things that normally pass you by because of time constraints or different focus.

Your grieving, permit yourself that . Then start to channel time and energy into your own care. If its pampering you need get it, start it. The best investment you can possibly make at this time is in yourself.

Mind , body and soul Miss Jade , invest in them . This chaos your experiencing is transient it may rear its angst ridden head from time to time. You already have the skills to surpass it . You are no less submissive unpartnered and for Heavens sake Miss Jade there is always retail therapy you can't possibly own every type of purple lingere in your state yet sweety. Heh had to be silly at the end didn't I .........smiles

 

[Shankara20]

I'm just not sure how the rest of y'all handle it, is all. I

Oy.

I signed on to a place called Lit and I hijack threads, and post weird pics and generally make a nuance of myself...


and I still cry a lot cuzzzz it still hurts after 4 years

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

I signed on to a place called Lit and I hijack threads, and post weird pics and generally make a nuance of myself...


and I still cry a lot cuzzzz it still hurts after 4 years

He does you know Miss Jade......... hijacks his was across the Threads and the naughty pics because I have seen them not sure about 'nuance' however........ I would have said....... hmmmn 'nuisance' ........runs

 

[DVS]

Somewhere on this board, I don't recall if it was a sig, a statement, or something that was linked, I once saw a cute phrase.

"A sub without a Dom is still a sub, but a Dom without a sub is just a person with a lot of weird toys!"

I remember thinking it was kinda cute, and kinda funny. And maybe even a little bit true.

But y'know what?

A sub without a Dom is actually a grumpy, frustrated, pissed off little thing. And this one has absolutely no damn idea of what to do about it -- this is the first time this kind of antsiness and frustration has hit me like this (or at least the first time I've recognized it for what it was) and I'm making myself -more- annoyed at not knowing how to deal with it.

I can't very well spank myself, here!

I think I'd like to hit something. I'm just afraid I'll break something. (Me, not an object!)

Another one of those phrases...and I don't remember exactly how it goes..."It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

Now, when I look at that phrase, I don't agree. Sure, we all know it is wonderful to love something, experience it and be able to relate to others who also have. But, someone who has never loved doesn't know the heartache, the wanting, the sleepless nights, the bittersweet memories, the restlessness, the emptyness, the unsatisfied desires, and the generally pissed off feeling that comes from a love that's lost.

Someone who's never loved can only wonder what it's like. Read stories, listen to others speak of it, see others engaged in it, and wonder what it would be like. Until you actually experience something, you really have no idea how it feels.

There's a song with a line iin it, which just repeats another well known phrase..."You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone."

I've experienced exactly what you are, but from the other side. iI've Dommed and lost. Twice. Neither left because I didn't fulfill what they wanted in a Dom, but life does have other ways of separating people.

After a period of time, everything becomes normal. And something that you enjoy becomes normal very quickly. Then, after a while, you can't even think of how life was before, and you don't even think you will ever need to. Everything is right with the world.

Ah, but llife has it's ways of making you adjust, at times when you least expect it. You're not prepared to deal with the change, but you still have to. what has been so normal for so long is now gone, and you have to deal with life in a different way. You've probably done it before, but because you've experienced life with something for so long, experiencing something without it seems almost impossible.

When one of my pets die, I think to myself, I'm never going to get another one, becuase the loss is so terrible. But, after a while, I always do. The hurt heals and I know that times with a pet are far greater than times without one. Sure, that sad time when you lose a pet is terrible, but it's only an instant in time, really.

It's all relative, when you think about it. It doesn't have to be love that we lose. It can be anything we enjoy that is taken away from us. Even an addiction. And, sex is an addiction, when you think about it. It's not one that can hurt you...unless you have a weak heart. There's another phrase...
"You can get too much of a good thing.".

But, who knows if it's true in all things. I like the phrase from Forest Gump. "Life's like a box of chocolates. You don't know what you're gonna get."

Because you've actually experienced being someone's submissive, you konw what you're missing. But, I'm sure there was a time when you weren't someone's sub, and you survived that time. Sure, it's not easy when life takes that other road, but to quote still another phrase..."this too shall pass."

Before long, you'll be dipping into that box of chocolates again, I'm sure.

And who said you can't spank yourself?

 

[Xelebes]

Spanking yourself doesn't have that same umph.

 

[chris9]

If you actually need pain, clamps are easier to do to oneself than spankings I found.

Why don't you plan a trip to come see me? I feel planning good stuff like vacations help, even if they don't come true. I could do a little virtual tour, show you stuff, maybe others will show you their places.

 

[Kajira Callista]

I did that once, and I had that once, and two weeks ago he left me. So while this is driving me absolutely batty, I'm thinking that any sort of actual relationship at this point is not quite healthy. That's part of my frustration is that I'm not sure I ought to go out and make it happen right now.

My two cents...dont go out and make anything happen now. any Dom with any kind of understanding will not step too close at this point. If they jump right in...im gonna tell ya from experience get out the sharpie and write predator across his/her forehead.
Exercise...eat right....pamper yourself.Endorphins ,endorphins, endorphins!!! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endorphin
Not only emotionally does it help but also physically.
Talk to friends, keep yourself busy, those two also help that edgy feeling go.

 

[alice_underneath]

My two cents...dont go out and make anything happen now. any Dom with any kind of understanding will not step too close at this point. If they jump right in...im gonna tell ya from experience get out the sharpie and write predator across his/her forehead.
Exercise...eat right....pamper yourself.Endorphins ,endorphins, endorphins!!! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endorphin
Not only emotionally does it help but also physically.
Talk to friends, keep yourself busy, those two also help that edgy feeling go.

Just popping in to say that this ^^^^ sounds like excellent advice to me.

Alice

 

[jadefirefly]

You all are the best.

I just wanted to say that.