Something Funny This Way Comes

[Laurel]

Some people may find this site offensive. Then again, the real world often is :

http://www.engrish.com/

http://engrish.com/images/recentdiscoveries/fujinamistraws.gif

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

LOL

Wicked funny.

 

[Laurel]

I've found my new favorite candy:

http://engrish.com/images/candy/Coming.jpg

 

[Always]

*snickers* Tres amusante!

 

[Laurel]

This is NOT my favorite candy:

http://engrish.com/images/candy/dewdew.jpg

 

[Mustang Sally]

I don't get it.

 

[Svedish_Chef]

I knew dix would be on it like a shot...

And DCL aren't I good enough for the poker game?

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Bring the Slim-jims and you're in.

 

[Svedish_Chef]

Bring the Slim-jims and you're in.

Ahhh shit why does everyone forget I'm an Australian.

B+H maybe?

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

You can still play. We'll stand on our heads.

 

[Svedish_Chef]

Good view of Muffs muff then... and of course Laurel's pussy (How many times again, tweety?)

 

[Never]

*scratches head*
Um. Okay.

 

[Doulton]

Some of this may be duplication of what's on the Engrish site. If so, I apologise, but I think most of it wouldn't be there.

In a Tokyo Hotel: "Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notice."
In a Bucharest hotel lobby: "The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable."
In a Leipzig elevator: "Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up."
In Akko, Israel: "Lamp Chops"
In a Belgrade hotel elevator: "To more the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order."
In a Paris hotel elevator: "Please leave your values at the front desk."
In a hotel in Athens: "Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily."
In a Yugoslavian hotel: "The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid."
In a Japanese hotel: "You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid."
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
"You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday."
In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: "Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension."
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: "Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."
On the menu of a Polish hotel: "Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion."
Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: "Ladies may have a fit upstairs."
In a Bangkok dry cleaner's: "Drop your trousers here for best results."
Outside a Paris dress shop: "Dresses for street walking."
In a Rhodes tailor shop: "Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation."
Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly: "There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years."
A sign posted in Germany's Black forest: "It is strictly forbidden on our black forest
camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in
one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose."
In a Zurich hotel: "Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose."
In and advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: "Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists."
In a Rome laundry: "Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a
good time."
In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: "Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages."
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: "Would you like to ride on your own ass?"
In a Bangkok temple: "It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man."
In a Tokyo bar: "Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts."
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: "We take your bags and send them in all directions."
On the door of a Moscow hotel room: "If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it."
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: "ladies are requested not to have children in the bar."
In a Budapest zoo: "Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable
food, give it to the guard on duty."
In the office of a Roman doctor: "Specialist in women and other diseases."
In an Acapulco hotel: "The manager has personally passed all the water served here."
In a Tokyo shop: "Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run."
From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:
"Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself."
From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: "When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor."
Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
"- English well talking."
"- Here speeching American."

 

[*Lazer*]

Laurel, thanks for making me snort ice tea up my nose. Hey Cheffie you could always come over and play chess with the me. Roger and I play strip chess all the time.....