Someone should remind me

[PacificBlue]

not to get out of bed if I'm going to totally embarass myself.

Today I've learned that the several times I've asked men out (initiated) they have all agreed to go because they didn't want me to be disappointed. They weren't interested...as I found out after but didn't want me to be shy about it in the future. This of course hasn't stopped me and I try and try again. I think I'm done now. This time I found out before and I'm not going.

I also learned that just because I go to a Weight Watchers meeting doesn't mean the leaders will be supportive of my efforts. As a matter of fact when one gains weight...'some' look at you like your a failure. I'm good enough at doing that on my own thank you very much.

I'm depressed this evening, feeling worthless, unwanted, and having a very nice pitty party for myself. If you kick me while I'm down with 'you shouldn't feel that way' I'm going to go for your jugglar with verbal abuse...you are forwarned.

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

I am not going to tell you what or what not to feel.



But you are not a failure.

 

[lavender]

 

[PacificBlue]

Four therapists, same answer...

Lose weight, you'll be fine. Life isn't fair. Deal.

Have some prozac. *handing over prescription slip*

 

[Purrde Flower]

Be strong. Don't let anyone beat you down. Most importantly don't let yourself kill what joy there is in your life. It's really easy to do. I have been there so many times. I didn't use any therapist to hel;p me out. Personaly I think they are all full of it.

 

[lavender]

 

[Debbie]

Lose weight, you'll be fine? From a therapist?
For me it sounds likes some self esteem classes and an assertive course may help more PB.
You have to like yourself, whatever weight you are.
When my marriage ended (you all know blah blah was violent) I had NO self esteem, I couldn't even look in the mirror, nor look at people in the eye. I walked with my head down.
I thought I was hideous and worthless.
IF I did go on a date I would make derogoratory comments about myself. I was sad and self destructive in the sense that I put myself down efore I even gave the guy a chance to get to know me.
I had to learn to like my self. It wasn't easy and no one can make you do it. You have to find a way to learn to like yourself.
Volunteering helped me a lot, laughing, friends, counselling, self esteem courses, positive affirmations.
This is my opinion only. I wish you well PB.

 

[Eumenides]

I hope I don't offend any psychiatrists here, but if all they are doing is throwing prozac at you, then go to a psychologist. Preferably one with a Behavioral Modification approach to therapy.

It is hard for me to fathom (not that I dont' believe you) a therapist being so superficial in their approach.

 

[LukkyKnight]

Fuck that. People's weight goes up and down, it's not a pound here or there that matters, long term. Let's go over to Ruby's birthday party, where you can have your cake and eat her, too.

 

[lavender]

 

[PacificBlue]

I've done both. I'm still doing one of the above. At this point, the work is up to me. My 'issues' with weight are very firmly ingrained. I started hearing about it when I was 4 and I'm almost 32 now. I may never be completely over it. Most of the experiences I've had in life with other people in relationships have only cemented what I believe to be true.

I was hoping *this* time would be different.

As I said at the beginning, I'm feeling rather down tonight. It will pass.