Some questions about a bi-curious female and her husband

[Brave Maximus]

Hi all,

I was asked the other day by a friend of mine about threesomes and bi-curiousity. I gave her what little advice I could, but figured I could pop on here and get some info from some more knowledgeable people.

My friend has been with her husband for 6 years and they are Very happy - probably one of the happiest couples I know. BUT, she is also bi-curious. When they first started going out, they had a threesome with one of their mutial friends and it ended in a disaster - they almost broke up and now they won't talk to the other person. And, from what she told me - the friend was more interested in getting with her then boyfriend than doing anything with her - they did nothing more than kiss (baddly).

So, I ask you people who are knowledgable - how do you find a partner when you're in a relationship. A girl that is curious, but doesn't really have any friends, and is just curious. Also the Husband is nervous but willing, he just doesn't want a repeat of the previous fiasco.

So, any ideas - any suggestions? Thanks

 

[SweetErika]

I'd tell her to think about and discuss with her husband that a threesome isn't the only option. They might be better off having her explore this by herself at first. That's the option we chose because it has a lot less potential for jealousy and disaster (plus, it's a tall order to find a woman who's willing to join a couple).

I'm not sure if I'm interpreting "A girl that is curious, but doesn't really have any friends, and is just curious." correctly to mean your friend wants to find a woman who doesn't have any friends, but if that's the case, I wouldn't recommend it. Someone who doesn't have friends may be more likely to want to get into your relationship or clingy. I don't know if I'd want to have a threesome with a girlfriend at all...why put the friendship on the line? It might be better to find and develop a friendship with a woman based on the common goal of a threesome in the future.

 

[Brave Maximus]

I think that's more on the lines they are thinking - someone willing to join as a threesome.

Let me clarify that statement - as I guess I didn't finish the thought. She has plenty of friends - but none that they'd be willing to include. That's what happened the first time - and it didn't turn out well. So they're looking outside their group of friends.

From what I've talked with her about, she doesn't want to explore on her own, because she feels it's cheating. If her husband is included - then it's not cheating.... or something like that - but it is a good idea and I'll ask her and suggest it the next time we talk.

 

[SweetErika]

We thought and talked about the idea of "cheating" for a long time, and decided it can't be cheating if both people know and support it. However, I understand that view point. The key to this is communication and flexibility (e.g. if they want to go the threesome route, it might be a good idea to be flexible about him just watching, etc.).

 

[LindaL]

For what it's worth (and it might not be much) both of my relationships with other women grew out of longterm friendships. The first developed after having a 4some with my spouse along with her and her husband. They'd been friends of ours for ages. And it remains mainly the 4 of us when we get together, though the guys are content to let the two of us have some quiet moments together for ourselves.

My other relationship blossomed out of a similar friendship between just me and her. And we began as a twosome, though I didn't hide anything from my husband, and he didn't object. On occasion we have involved him with us for that classic FMF 3some so many guys seem to crave to be in.