Hypoxia
doesn't watch television
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2013
- Posts
- 28,080
I was at Mt Shasta a few days ago and picked up the local alternative weekly. I read this (over a fabulous breakfast at YACK'S -- y'all oughta eat there, with locations also in Dunsmuir and Yreka) and felt compelled to contribute here.
"Formally asking a sweetheart to 'please be my boyfriend/girlfriend' is said to be a traditional romantic milestone in Japanese relationships, and [a town] in Chiba Pefecture now provides a government document to commemorate the big step (for a filing fee, of course)."
An official going-steady license? Yeah, write about that.
"British artist Millie Bown... creates Jackson Pollock-style canvases by vomiting on them after injesting colored soy milk."
How about an artist who vomits colored cum on canvases?
"Four Maine State Police troopers rushed to a home in [a town] alarmed by 911 calls about an assault in progress (according to neighbors who reported raucous screaming). [Troopers] found that the suspected 'crime scene' was the home of a pig farmer, who showed troopers the pen out back in which a male had been placed with five sows 'in heat' and that the squealing (either by the sows or the beleaguered male) was not unusual."
Guys, how loud do you and your five GF's get when you're having at it? Are cops called?
The next two share a theme:
"Ms Terry Boyd, 52, was ordered on probation in [Wisconsin] on charges of imprisoning two men in a second-story bedroom, leaving them screaming for help from a window. According to police, Boyd had refused to release the men until at least one agreed to have sex with her."
"After Maria Montanez-Colon, 58, called 911 in [Florida] the responding officer reported that she immediately began fondling him, noting 'I haven't been penetrated in years'. The officer politely declined and warned her about frivolous 911 calls, but Montanez-Colon was arrested shortly afterward when she called again, asking the second responding officer, 'How else am I going to get (to have sex)?'"
These cougars need to learn updated hunting techniques.
"Ms. Fatima Mangre, 8, was granted a divorce from her husband, Arjun Bakridi, 14, in India's Uttar Pradesh state, becoming the youngest divorcee in the country's recorded history... The legal age for marriage in the state is 18, but a United Nations agency said the law is still widely ignored."
Well, they hadn't cohabited yet in their four years of marriage, so I guess we can write this up on LIT.
Then there's the story of the Illinois woman who donated 127 gallons of her breast milk during 2008-2013, at the same time she was breast-feeding her own four sons. And the story of the vicar in Ontario, Canada who was busted for 1) taking a prostitute to church for after-hours sex, 2) ripping-off money from the church cash drawer to pay her, and 3) lying to cops about being forced to raid the drawer. Sounds like a couple stories there, hey?
"Formally asking a sweetheart to 'please be my boyfriend/girlfriend' is said to be a traditional romantic milestone in Japanese relationships, and [a town] in Chiba Pefecture now provides a government document to commemorate the big step (for a filing fee, of course)."
An official going-steady license? Yeah, write about that.
"British artist Millie Bown... creates Jackson Pollock-style canvases by vomiting on them after injesting colored soy milk."
How about an artist who vomits colored cum on canvases?
"Four Maine State Police troopers rushed to a home in [a town] alarmed by 911 calls about an assault in progress (according to neighbors who reported raucous screaming). [Troopers] found that the suspected 'crime scene' was the home of a pig farmer, who showed troopers the pen out back in which a male had been placed with five sows 'in heat' and that the squealing (either by the sows or the beleaguered male) was not unusual."
Guys, how loud do you and your five GF's get when you're having at it? Are cops called?
The next two share a theme:
"Ms Terry Boyd, 52, was ordered on probation in [Wisconsin] on charges of imprisoning two men in a second-story bedroom, leaving them screaming for help from a window. According to police, Boyd had refused to release the men until at least one agreed to have sex with her."
"After Maria Montanez-Colon, 58, called 911 in [Florida] the responding officer reported that she immediately began fondling him, noting 'I haven't been penetrated in years'. The officer politely declined and warned her about frivolous 911 calls, but Montanez-Colon was arrested shortly afterward when she called again, asking the second responding officer, 'How else am I going to get (to have sex)?'"
These cougars need to learn updated hunting techniques.
"Ms. Fatima Mangre, 8, was granted a divorce from her husband, Arjun Bakridi, 14, in India's Uttar Pradesh state, becoming the youngest divorcee in the country's recorded history... The legal age for marriage in the state is 18, but a United Nations agency said the law is still widely ignored."
Well, they hadn't cohabited yet in their four years of marriage, so I guess we can write this up on LIT.
Then there's the story of the Illinois woman who donated 127 gallons of her breast milk during 2008-2013, at the same time she was breast-feeding her own four sons. And the story of the vicar in Ontario, Canada who was busted for 1) taking a prostitute to church for after-hours sex, 2) ripping-off money from the church cash drawer to pay her, and 3) lying to cops about being forced to raid the drawer. Sounds like a couple stories there, hey?
