Starblayde
5pointboy
- Joined
- Jan 26, 2002
- Posts
- 7,281
Just something I found on the net.....
"For many of us girls, and some of you guys, we occasionally find ourselves in the predicament of whether or not to suck cock. Whether the guy is your boyfriend, your drug dealer, or your landlord, almost everyone has or will face this problem. While there are people out there who like to lick the long-john, there are many more who detest it, and will go out of their way to not have to do it. Of course, there are just those times when either the look on the guy's face is so utterly pathetic, or he just got you off five times in a row, or you know he's going to join the monastery in the morning, and you just can't find it in your heart to say no. What to do in those times? What to do?
1) You could convince him that he's cum: After about 5 minute, slow down, then stop, look him straight in the eye, and exclaim "You didn't taste too bad at all! And you cum so quickly. It's wonderful!" If he tries to argue with you, just act like either he's playing around, or he's treating you like an idiot. Believe me, this works.
2) Bite him "accidentally": tell him beforehand that you had a bad experience when you were a kid, dealing with a cork-screw and some onions, and so now whenever anything gets shoved too far down your throat, you have the tendency to clamp down on it. Naturally, this won't worry him and he'll still ask you to proceed. Now, at this point you could do it two ways. You could either bite it when it barely gets in your throat, and exclaim that he had just pushed you too far, or you can wait until it's way back there and he's about to cum, and you chomp at that point. Either way, he'll never ask for your services again.
3) If you aren't quite evil enough for #2, here's a variation: Just have his penis keep hitting your teeth. Tell him that your mouth is small, and his dick is just too large for it. Again, he'll say something to the effect of "it's okay, I'm sure it'll be fine", and thrust his monkey in your face. After a few minutes of teeth-grinding fun, you can be sure that he'll ask you to stop.
4) Convince him he has a S.T.D.: Before you even start, look at his penis, and find some slight discoloration or mark. Look at it intently, whatever it is, and after a few moments, ask him what it is. He won't know, or he'll tell you that it's normal. Then, in your best I-scared-but-trying-to-remain-calm voice, tell him that it is not fine, and you've never seen that kind of a thing before. Then inform him that in last month's Cosmo there was an article about how excessive masturbation has been linked to genital warts and scurvy. EIther he'll run off to the bathroom to get a better look, or if he doesn't, just worriedly tell him that you aren't willing to take the risk.
5) Shame him into putting it away: When he first takes his penis out and starts flopping it around, make a little comment such as "how cute!" and start cooing at it. Plan on him looking shocked, and quickly add "oh, but small is okay. I mean, not everyone can be as well endowed as my exboyfriend."
If these tricks don't work, lord have mercy on you. And who knows? Maybe you'll develop a taste for the stuff."
"For many of us girls, and some of you guys, we occasionally find ourselves in the predicament of whether or not to suck cock. Whether the guy is your boyfriend, your drug dealer, or your landlord, almost everyone has or will face this problem. While there are people out there who like to lick the long-john, there are many more who detest it, and will go out of their way to not have to do it. Of course, there are just those times when either the look on the guy's face is so utterly pathetic, or he just got you off five times in a row, or you know he's going to join the monastery in the morning, and you just can't find it in your heart to say no. What to do in those times? What to do?
1) You could convince him that he's cum: After about 5 minute, slow down, then stop, look him straight in the eye, and exclaim "You didn't taste too bad at all! And you cum so quickly. It's wonderful!" If he tries to argue with you, just act like either he's playing around, or he's treating you like an idiot. Believe me, this works.
2) Bite him "accidentally": tell him beforehand that you had a bad experience when you were a kid, dealing with a cork-screw and some onions, and so now whenever anything gets shoved too far down your throat, you have the tendency to clamp down on it. Naturally, this won't worry him and he'll still ask you to proceed. Now, at this point you could do it two ways. You could either bite it when it barely gets in your throat, and exclaim that he had just pushed you too far, or you can wait until it's way back there and he's about to cum, and you chomp at that point. Either way, he'll never ask for your services again.
3) If you aren't quite evil enough for #2, here's a variation: Just have his penis keep hitting your teeth. Tell him that your mouth is small, and his dick is just too large for it. Again, he'll say something to the effect of "it's okay, I'm sure it'll be fine", and thrust his monkey in your face. After a few minutes of teeth-grinding fun, you can be sure that he'll ask you to stop.
4) Convince him he has a S.T.D.: Before you even start, look at his penis, and find some slight discoloration or mark. Look at it intently, whatever it is, and after a few moments, ask him what it is. He won't know, or he'll tell you that it's normal. Then, in your best I-scared-but-trying-to-remain-calm voice, tell him that it is not fine, and you've never seen that kind of a thing before. Then inform him that in last month's Cosmo there was an article about how excessive masturbation has been linked to genital warts and scurvy. EIther he'll run off to the bathroom to get a better look, or if he doesn't, just worriedly tell him that you aren't willing to take the risk.
5) Shame him into putting it away: When he first takes his penis out and starts flopping it around, make a little comment such as "how cute!" and start cooing at it. Plan on him looking shocked, and quickly add "oh, but small is okay. I mean, not everyone can be as well endowed as my exboyfriend."
If these tricks don't work, lord have mercy on you. And who knows? Maybe you'll develop a taste for the stuff."
