Some Feedback for "Sated Hunger"

[Dragon Dreamer]

Hi all, could use some feedback on my second story, "Sated Hunger."

It's a lot different from my first submission, and I'd like to hear what people think.

Link to the story

 

[Axeltheswede]

"Sated Hunger"

Interesting tale, well told. You had me wondering if Sherri was packing a six inch surprise in her panties. Beware of women with eyes that flash red.

Having the X frame in the bedroom may have been a bit of a premature tell as the story progressed. That element seemed to mute the anticipation you had built up to that point.

 

[Dragon Dreamer]

Re: "Sated Hunger"

Interesting tale, well told. You had me wondering if Sherri was packing a six inch surprise in her panties. Beware of women with eyes that flash red.

Having the X frame in the bedroom may have been a bit of a premature tell as the story progressed. That element seemed to mute the anticipation you had built up to that point.

Thanks for the feedback. I was hoping people would wonder that, I was playing a bit off the standard "She's really a he!" stories.

As to the X frame in the bedroom... I was going for an "All in one living space with no windows" idea, although I can see what you mean.

 

[NoJo]

Staed Hunger

I loved it, it got me horny -- I'm just a sucker for vampires!

Seriously, a real turn on. 5.

Hope you didn't want a blow-by-blow analysis, I feel drained, just can't sink my teeth into that sort of thing.


JOe

 

[Dragon Dreamer]

Re: Staed Hunger

I loved it, it got me horny -- I'm just a sucker for vampires!

Seriously, a real turn on. 5.

Hope you didn't want a blow-by-blow analysis, I feel drained, just can't sink my teeth into that sort of thing.


JOe

Thanks Joe!