ok well I just wrote this story and i wanted to get some feedback on it before i submit it to lit, so tell me what you think and give me some suggestions to fix it up!
thanks in advance!
The Watch: Chapter 1
By: Plover111
*All characters are over 18*
"Ahh almost there"
Andrew replaced the face on the watch that he had been working on for along time. This watch had been the result of countless days and nights studying everything from astro-physics to watch making. Finally he had gotten it to work, he now controlled time itself!
"Ah right on time as well time to catch the bus."
Andrew picked up the watch and ran up the stairs to catch the schoolbus that would take him over to his school. He couldn't wait to try out the watch on this really hot girl who rode the same bus as him. Andrew took his seat on the bus and it continued on it's way. Once it reached the last stop, Laurie got on, Andrew had, had a crush on her since the first day he saw her. Long brown hair, around 5'8 and nice c cup tits. Laurie took her seat a couple seats in front of Andrew.
"May as well try this thing out..."
Andrew pressed the time button on his watch and a shockwave rocked the bus as everything suddenly froze in it's place, except Andrew of course. Andrew got up and walked over to Laurie and sat down next to her. Slowly he looked her over, such a perfect girl, he couldn't wait to see what kind of goodies she was covering up underneath her school girl outfit. Andrew first took her hand and felt it over, her skin was so soft, he would have been content to just holding her hand, but thanks to this watch that wasn't the only thing he was going to do! Andrew slowly leaned over and pressed his lips against hers, even with time frozen they were warm and moist. He slid his tongue inbetween her lips slowly parting them until he found hers and started to play with it. While he was busy in her mouth his hands moved from hers until they reached her arms and continued towards the center of her body. they reached their target pretty quickly, he rubbed her perfect tits through the shirt while massaging her tongue with his. Andrew broke the kiss for a minute to look her over.
"Oh my god, I can't believe this! Finally I get to fool around with her!"
Andrew grabbed her shirt at the bottom and lifted it over her perfectly tanned body until she was sitting there in her white lacy bra. Andrew put his hands around her back and unclipped the bra letting it fall to her lap revealing the beautiful tits he had been dreaming of for years. her nipples were just a shade darker than her tanned skin and it seems that even with the effects of stopping time, human bodies still respond sexually. Andrew lowered his mouth to her nipple and drew it into his mouth. Slowly he used his tongue to circle around the nipple and suck on her perfect tits. By now Andrew had gotten a painfully large hard-on and he needed to see more of Laurie. Holding her firmly he pushed her back until she was lying down on the bus seat and pulled down her panties from underneath her cute little school girl skirt.
"Woooah, what a perfect shaved pussy!!!"
Andrew had the BIGGEST smile on his face as his dream girl was lying down in front of him with her perfect tanned, shaved pussy dripping wet from the nipple licking, just waiting for him. First he had waited this long he could hold out a little longer, he HAD to taste this pussy, he bent down and moved his face closer to her pussy inhaling the amazing scent of her pussy, he was less than an inch away. He couldn't take it anymore and dove right in, his tongue flying into her pussy. It swirled around and around searching for her clit, once he found it he nibbled and sucked on it, causing her juieaces to start flowing more freely. The seat underneath her if it hadn't been made of vinly would have been soaked to the core with her love juices. While licking Laurie, Andrew brought his finger up to her pussy and slowly inserted his finger into her pussy.
"Hey, wadda ya know she's a virgin!"
Laurie was indeed a virgin her tight little pussy had never been stretched by a nice big cock before, but all that was going to change now wasn't it? He had, had enough he needed to take this hottie's cherry. Andrew pulled his pants down and released his 8 inch cock from it's prison. He had waited so long for this and finally it was time, he inched his cock closer and closer towards Laurie's hot pussy, which by now was soaking wet just waiting for it's first cock. Andrew nudged his the head of his cock inside the lips of her pussy, Andrew was in heaven her pussy walls felt so warm and wet surronding the head of his cock he had to push further into her. His cock pushed farther and farther until he hit her cherry which was still intact, with a swift thrust of his cock he popped her cherry causing a bit of blood to spill from her pussy, but it quickly got used to having such a large cock in there. Andrew was in heaven by now he started thrusting in and out of her, slowly at first but he began to speed up. Soon he was going in and out of her in a blur of motions, Andrew by now was in pure ecstasy, he had no idea how much longer he could hold on. Andrew threw his head back moaning the whole time, he knew he was close, he had to cum inside her. Andrew brought his back down to look at Laurie lying on her back being fucked for the first time and that was all he could handle. He unleashed a torrent of cum flooding through her pussy, some of it dribbled out of her pussy as he pulled his now limp cock out. Andrew grabbed a towel from his bag and cleaned up her a pussy a bit, it would be quite a shock if Laurie went to the bathroom and found her pussy and panties full of cum! As he finished cleaning her up he looked at her lovely face and bent down to give her one more kiss, he knew it wouldn't be his last, but now he had to start time up again and find his next partner!
Chapter 2: Coming Soon!!
thanks in advance!
The Watch: Chapter 1
By: Plover111
*All characters are over 18*
"Ahh almost there"
Andrew replaced the face on the watch that he had been working on for along time. This watch had been the result of countless days and nights studying everything from astro-physics to watch making. Finally he had gotten it to work, he now controlled time itself!
"Ah right on time as well time to catch the bus."
Andrew picked up the watch and ran up the stairs to catch the schoolbus that would take him over to his school. He couldn't wait to try out the watch on this really hot girl who rode the same bus as him. Andrew took his seat on the bus and it continued on it's way. Once it reached the last stop, Laurie got on, Andrew had, had a crush on her since the first day he saw her. Long brown hair, around 5'8 and nice c cup tits. Laurie took her seat a couple seats in front of Andrew.
"May as well try this thing out..."
Andrew pressed the time button on his watch and a shockwave rocked the bus as everything suddenly froze in it's place, except Andrew of course. Andrew got up and walked over to Laurie and sat down next to her. Slowly he looked her over, such a perfect girl, he couldn't wait to see what kind of goodies she was covering up underneath her school girl outfit. Andrew first took her hand and felt it over, her skin was so soft, he would have been content to just holding her hand, but thanks to this watch that wasn't the only thing he was going to do! Andrew slowly leaned over and pressed his lips against hers, even with time frozen they were warm and moist. He slid his tongue inbetween her lips slowly parting them until he found hers and started to play with it. While he was busy in her mouth his hands moved from hers until they reached her arms and continued towards the center of her body. they reached their target pretty quickly, he rubbed her perfect tits through the shirt while massaging her tongue with his. Andrew broke the kiss for a minute to look her over.
"Oh my god, I can't believe this! Finally I get to fool around with her!"
Andrew grabbed her shirt at the bottom and lifted it over her perfectly tanned body until she was sitting there in her white lacy bra. Andrew put his hands around her back and unclipped the bra letting it fall to her lap revealing the beautiful tits he had been dreaming of for years. her nipples were just a shade darker than her tanned skin and it seems that even with the effects of stopping time, human bodies still respond sexually. Andrew lowered his mouth to her nipple and drew it into his mouth. Slowly he used his tongue to circle around the nipple and suck on her perfect tits. By now Andrew had gotten a painfully large hard-on and he needed to see more of Laurie. Holding her firmly he pushed her back until she was lying down on the bus seat and pulled down her panties from underneath her cute little school girl skirt.
"Woooah, what a perfect shaved pussy!!!"
Andrew had the BIGGEST smile on his face as his dream girl was lying down in front of him with her perfect tanned, shaved pussy dripping wet from the nipple licking, just waiting for him. First he had waited this long he could hold out a little longer, he HAD to taste this pussy, he bent down and moved his face closer to her pussy inhaling the amazing scent of her pussy, he was less than an inch away. He couldn't take it anymore and dove right in, his tongue flying into her pussy. It swirled around and around searching for her clit, once he found it he nibbled and sucked on it, causing her juieaces to start flowing more freely. The seat underneath her if it hadn't been made of vinly would have been soaked to the core with her love juices. While licking Laurie, Andrew brought his finger up to her pussy and slowly inserted his finger into her pussy.
"Hey, wadda ya know she's a virgin!"
Laurie was indeed a virgin her tight little pussy had never been stretched by a nice big cock before, but all that was going to change now wasn't it? He had, had enough he needed to take this hottie's cherry. Andrew pulled his pants down and released his 8 inch cock from it's prison. He had waited so long for this and finally it was time, he inched his cock closer and closer towards Laurie's hot pussy, which by now was soaking wet just waiting for it's first cock. Andrew nudged his the head of his cock inside the lips of her pussy, Andrew was in heaven her pussy walls felt so warm and wet surronding the head of his cock he had to push further into her. His cock pushed farther and farther until he hit her cherry which was still intact, with a swift thrust of his cock he popped her cherry causing a bit of blood to spill from her pussy, but it quickly got used to having such a large cock in there. Andrew was in heaven by now he started thrusting in and out of her, slowly at first but he began to speed up. Soon he was going in and out of her in a blur of motions, Andrew by now was in pure ecstasy, he had no idea how much longer he could hold on. Andrew threw his head back moaning the whole time, he knew he was close, he had to cum inside her. Andrew brought his back down to look at Laurie lying on her back being fucked for the first time and that was all he could handle. He unleashed a torrent of cum flooding through her pussy, some of it dribbled out of her pussy as he pulled his now limp cock out. Andrew grabbed a towel from his bag and cleaned up her a pussy a bit, it would be quite a shock if Laurie went to the bathroom and found her pussy and panties full of cum! As he finished cleaning her up he looked at her lovely face and bent down to give her one more kiss, he knew it wouldn't be his last, but now he had to start time up again and find his next partner!
Chapter 2: Coming Soon!!
