Some church humor

[willywanker]

I thought some of these were cute, some funny but with all the fighting being done on this board about religion, I for one still want to be able to enjoy a good laugh, where ever I find it.
Some Church humor ...

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"
"Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he knew the answer so quickly.
"How do you know that?"
"Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Preacher said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."
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After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up."
"That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?" "Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen."
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A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service: "And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed trash against us."

******This might make a good Lit. prayer****
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A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. How do you know what to say?" he asked.
"Why, God tells me."
"Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"
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A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on.
Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"
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After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said
he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!"
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Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent.
"The flight to Egypt," said Kyle.
"I see ... And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus," Ms. Terri said. "But who's the fourth person?"
"Oh, that's Pontius-the Pilot.
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The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
"No sir," little Johnny replies, "I don't have to. My Mom is a good cook."
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Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, "After a worship service at First Baptist Church in New Castle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety seven-year-old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet. About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, "If you
don't be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will have to start his sermon all over again!" It worked.


My favorite was the first one, 16 marriages, but I like the one about the kid wanting to stay with his parents, not in a Christian home too. Find any that tickled you funny bone?

 

[morninggirl5]

Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, "After a worship service at First Baptist Church in New Castle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety seven-year-old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet. About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, "If you
don't be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will have to start his sermon all over again!" It worked.

I remember several ministers that would have made this threat very effective with me. Probably would have done a lot less talking and note passing through the back pews if someone had told me this as a teenager.