Social retard asking for help

[only_more_so]

Socially inept and asking for help

So, I'm a pretty smart guy, but when it comes to women, I really can't make heads or tails of them. In addition to being a smart guy, I can be rather imposing looking (6'6" bald head and currently sporting a full beard). So when I'm, say, on the subway, and I see a girl glancing at me, I have no idea if it is potential interest, or nervousness.

Any hints? Suggestions? Operating manuals?

 

[impressive]

Stop using offensive language?

ETA: My apologies for not addressing the questions in your post. However, the thread title caused a knee-jerk (post-jerk?) reaction.

 

[sr71plt]

I wouldn't assume anything is sexual signaling in public unless it was more than obvious enough not to be asking. You're only asking for trouble otherwise--I think.

 

[Carnevil9]

Smile. If she smiles back, it's potential interest. If she looks away, it's nervousness.

And don't worry about being politically incorrect. "Retard" is a perfectly acceptable word.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

I wouldn't assume anything is sexual signaling in public unless it was more than obvious enough not to be asking. You're only asking for trouble otherwise--I think.

Big as you are? I'd use the gentle giant approach, very soft-spoken and considerate. It will make them feel very secure in your presense and that's always a good thing.

 

[_Lynn_]

So, I'm a pretty smart guy, but when it comes to women, I really can't make heads or tails of them. In addition to being a smart guy, I can be rather imposing looking (6'6" bald head and currently sporting a full beard). So when I'm, say, on the subway, and I see a girl glancing at me, I have no idea if it is potential interest, or nervousness.

Any hints? Suggestions? Operating manuals?

No hints but I was thinking that 6'6'' isn't that imposing to my 5'11''...

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Armpit farts. Women go crazy for a guy who can do armpit farts.

Go over to her, smile, and rip off a dozen. With your size and your shaved head and full beard, you'll make quite an impression.

--Zoot

 

[sr71plt]

Armpit farts. Women go crazy for a guy who can do armpit farts.

Go over to her, smile, and rip off a dozen. With your size and your shaved head and full beard, you'll make quite an impression.

--Zoot

Tattoos maybe too? That tattoo on the back of your neck of your last squeeze should do it as well, I should think.

 

[only_more_so]

Stop using offensive language?

ETA: My apologies for not addressing the questions in your post. However, the thread title caused a knee-jerk (post-jerk?) reaction.

Yeah, there is that. Although I did mean it in the correct sense, as in stunted development.

 

[impressive]

Yeah, there is that. Although I did mean it in the correct sense, as in stunted development.

Yes, well "nigger" can be considered synonymous with "African American" by some folks, too. Your intent is little consolation to the person on the other side of the conversation.

While you can certainly use whatever the language you wish, why risk alienating someone who might otherwise be interested?

Good luck.

 

[Iamcanadian28]

Yes, well "nigger" can be considered synonymous with "African American" by some folks, too. Your intent is little consolation to the person on the other side of the conversation.

While you can certainly use whatever the language you wish, why risk alienating someone who might otherwise be interested?

Good luck.

It's good to see I'm not the only person who finds that term highly offensive.

 

[Carnevil9]

Don't be so niggardly with your vocabulary!

 

[Guest]

Armpit farts. Women go crazy for a guy who can do armpit farts.

Go over to her, smile, and rip off a dozen. With your size and your shaved head and full beard, you'll make quite an impression.

--Zoot

You charmer.

You've got the gals lined up, don't you?

 

[Guest]

6'6".....and bald... I would swoon. *shrugs*

 

[Elianna]

6'6".....and bald... I would swoon. *shrugs*

No kidding. Where are you when I'm walking around in heels and am almost 6'?

Shrug. However... I don't like kissing fuzzy faces... road rash. (But some girls find it a total turn on. You've got to find one that loves you for just you. Don't worry. There's plenty of single females out there.)

Personally a friendly smile, demonstration of intelligence and the ability to articulate more than the usual cave man grunts is probably your best bet. Most women want someone who's easy to talk to. (Many of us like to talk a lot.)

 

[Varian P]

You charmer.

You've got the gals lined up, don't you?

Of course, if some other guy comes along and starts burping the alphabet, you're back to rosy and her five sisters for the night.

 

[DeeZire]

Always carry a cookbook - extravagant dinners for one - in your bag so that you can whip it out when needed. The only problem with that is, if it pays off, you'll actually have to learn to cook.

 

[FernieLyn]

Hi! Newbie writer here. I've been lurking for a while, and I just couldn't keep my mouth shut on this topic. Here's my two cents:

For a gal just a tad above five feet, anyone who is 6 feet or bigger is a giant for me. lol So I would be intimidated by your great height of 6'6". We hobbits have a different view of the world from our lowly plane. But seriously, if you can do the "gentle giant" approach, or even better, the "gentle flirtatious giant", that could make ladies swoon.

 

[gauchecritic]

My tallest son is 6' 6" and his g/f is shorter than Matt (really).

A glance (from anyone) is an assessment. A second glance is interest. Be prepared for the second glance:

Be looking in their direction (though not directly at them) Pull your ears back. This will pull back your scalp, raise your eyebrows slightly and widen your lips.
It has all the effects of a smile without smiling.

(this is why sunny weather seems to make everyone cheerful: a squint is like a smile)

It starts to ache after a while, so if she hasn't looked by then just give it up.

If she does look again and it's an extended glance then she is more than likely waiting for you to notice.

(why she wants you to notice is, and will remain, a mystery until the next step. We'll assume in this case, it's because she's interested.)

There are two schools of thought about the next step. The first says that the second elongated glance from her is the point at which you smile back. The second school go by the Ian Fleming maxim; Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, three times is enemy action. Kind of like third light in WWI trenches.
Choose which you like.

When you eventually smile and she looks away (and more girls will look away rather then stay with the gaze) then, as Carny mentioned, it's a matter of interpretation of how she looks away.

Ways that she may look away:
Coquettish: with lowered/fluttering lashes and quick glances back.
The slide: as though she were reading the ad behind your head.
The flick: Hoping she wasn't caught.
The flicker: which will move around your face, chest, shoulders but keeping your eyes in sight.
The further flicker: Darting around the carriage, to the ceiling, the floor, the windows but always passing back across your face.

These actions are still open to interpretation which is the point at which you have to decide if they are interest or invitation.

Even the coquettish look away, although seemingly a 'come on' can reasonably be construed as a woman making herself feel good or naughty rather than any kind of invitation for furtherance.

So then comes the body language, which takes up a thousand and odd words and an entry in the 'how to...' contest.

One anecdote by way of warning:

A friend of mine told me how he was in a nightclub and a stunning blonde was giving him all the signals. The glance, open stance, smiles, straight back, head high, chest out from across an almost empty dance floor.

When he had worked up the courage he strolled across, smiling and getting smiles in return and when he came within a couple of feet she greeted him with two words: Fuck off.

 

[lesbiaphrodite]

Subtlety and politeness are attractive qualities to me. Also, good manners (e.g. pulling out a lady's chair at dinner for her to sit down, opening the door for her) are charming.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

I'm 6'-4 and I like short women. But when I smile at them they just look away, unless they are wearing a wedding ring. Then they smile, and I have to look away.

 

[lushlucid]

Social retard is a scientific description, altho if you want to be PC then yes there are other words.

Maybe shave the beard?
meeting people through friends instead of total stranger would help i guess.

 

[FernieLyn]

I'm 6'-4 and I like short women. But when I smile at them they just look away, unless they are wearing a wedding ring. Then they smile, and I have to look away.

I'll make my first AH flirtatious remark, hehe...

TGP, I'm short, and I'm not wearing a wedding ring. Here's a smile (and a flutter of eyelashes) in your direction. lol

 

[Guest]

Don't shave

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Meeting people is the easiest thing in the world, and women arent bashful about making the first move.

Once a woman expresses an interest in you the rest is simple. Encourage her to talk about what interests her, and have a sense of humor. She'll guide you to where she wants things to go. So relax.

There is no need to study your horoscope or read tea-leaves.

Mother Nature designed courting to be simple, and it is.