Social Equity

[Weird Harold]

WH-I see your point, but the last time I asked a question specifically pertaining to treating people according to the dictates of THEIR culture, the board got a little nasty. I thought this was a little safer-and indeed, the question was in a roundabout way on first impressions.

This subject is, IMHO, a very difficult one to get an accurate commentary on, because an honest "of course. I wouldn't give **** the time of day," answer is going to draw tons of flames and the thread quickly deteriorates into name calling and mud slinging. Nobody wants to be seen as bigoted even though most of us have some bigotry in our personalities.

This is to some extent related to the discussions on racial profiling and prejudice and has the same potential for hostility generated by a poorly worded answer or unpopular position.

Most of us form quick opinions of people we met casually, both positive and negative. I like to think that I take more than appearance into consideration, but that's probably not always true. I'm probably as prone to bad snap judgements as anyone else -- I have learned over the years that I can be wrong and admitting an error isn't fatal.

 

[bored1]

I try hard not to prejudge,I will admit that after being mugged several years ago I become a little on guard when I see certain people coming my way.I quess its just a natural instinct thing.

 

[Tyrael]

This subject is, IMHO, a very difficult one to get an accurate commentary on, because an honest "of course. I wouldn't give **** the time of day," answer is going to draw tons of flames and the thread quickly deteriorates into name calling and mud slinging. Nobody wants to be seen as bigoted even though most of us have some bigotry in our personalities.

Is this why you reduced the topic to the lowest common denomiator? Because you were worried that people you will probably never meet might think poorly of you? That's nice. No one expects you to love everyone on the face of the earth, but to hate for the sake of hate isn't acceptable either.

The topic was a "do you hate people because of their background?" There was no "positive & negative" comparison to make. And your nonchalant mutterings of what type of food you would serve people was like a slap in the face of a discussion about the way we are brought up to look down on people for no better reason than they were born in the wrong country or in the wrong race. I'm so glad the topic got perverted and lost simply because people were afraid to post an opinion that might have went against someone else's.

Of course I'm the wrong one for pointing out things that I thought were out of place but who cares.

 

[Jimi]

I don't know...

Sure, sometimes I make assumptions based upon perceptions of "the other"'s cultural background...

But the judgement is not made in a "snap" fashion - so I can say safely that the reaction to whomever is based almost always upon behaviour of the individual - not that they are Somali, East Indian, "White Trash" or whatever sobriquet one chooses to place upon our fellowman...

 

[Guest]

The topic was a "do you hate people because of their background?" There was no "positive & negative" comparison to make. And your nonchalant mutterings of what type of food you would serve people was like a slap in the face of a discussion about the way we are brought up to look down on people for no better reason than they were born in the wrong country or in the wrong race. I'm so glad the topic got perverted and lost simply because people were afraid to post an opinion that might have went against someone else's.

No Tyreal... the topic was Do you treat people of different social constructions differently? (sex, race, etc..)

You're interpretation of it was taht CB meant differently as negatively. Perhaps that was her intent, but that's not the way the question was phrased.

WH's answer is no more or less appropriate than one anyone else has given.

I will freely admit that when I see a black man at night when I'm walking to my car, that I get apprehensive. I was car jacked a few years ago, and certain situations bring that feeling of fear and helplessness back to me. Doesn't make me a bad person, and I try to recognize it when it happens. I also tend to shy away from red headed men with texas accents... they remind me of my step brother.

Those may be negative responses, and are most likely unfair. *shrug* It's based on life experience.

The situation in which we encounter someone helps us to define our reaction. In my case, I don't fear black men in general. I don't fear any particular group of people. But in certain situations, when certain triggers are present, then fear almost overwhelms me. It's 100% situational.

Friendships are generally forged on a basis of common life experience. If I meet someone randomly, and we discover that we have a common bond, than the other stuff tends to fall away.

I don't think you're wrong for pointing out that you interpreted the question differently... but don't assume that everyone needs to interpret it the same way you did.

 

[Calamity Jane]

^^ was me

 

[Tyrael]

It's not that I assume people should see things like I do, it's that I thought WH was making light of a situation that needed a serious look.

Ok sure, I was wrong in excluding the positive aspects but it's the same really. Isn't it wrong to treat people differently just because of social background regardless of whether it was positive or not?

Is holding something back from a person of different ethnic backgrounds any different from giving someone something because of their ethnic background?

 

[petrel]

Yes, I do give consideration to background in the way I treat people.

For Example, I don't offer ham sandwiches to jews and muslims or roast beef to hindus. I don't offer coffee to mormons or booze to alcoholics.

I don't ask missionaries who come to my door in to share my porn collection either.

I would be neither human or polite if I didn't take notice of others cultural values and biases when interacting with them.


_sorry wierd harold - i couldn't get the quote button to work and i believe you said this first - i'm with you all the way.

someone else mentioned that all of us are unique. It is the sum of our experiences that makes us that way so when i meet someone hell yea I treat them differently dependant on who they are; where they grew up etc because they they are a different person and they deserve to be treated like an individual.

 

[Weird Harold]

Is this why you reduced the topic to the lowest common denomiator? Because you were worried that people you will probably never meet might think poorly of you? That's nice. No one expects you to love everyone on the face of the earth, but to hate for the sake of hate isn't acceptable either.

Well, considering I have issued an open invitation to every literotican who comes to Las Vegas to meet me for coffee and donuts, I do care what people I just might meet important.

However, that's NOT why I answered as I did. If you ead many of my posts, you should realize that I'm fairly consistent in my claime to be as "color blind" as possible and eliminate any discriminatory practices from my life. I answerd the question asked, NOT the question you inferred.

And your nonchalant mutterings of what type of food you would serve people was like a slap in the face of a discussion about the way we are brought up to look down on people for no better reason than they were born in the wrong country or in the wrong race.

I don't understand why you constantly fixate on the nature of my example. I could have used more insulting stereotypes, like I don't play Heavy Metal around hispanics, or Country and Western around Blacks; or I don't leave children alone with priests.

I could have used a hundred or so examples, but none I could think of at that time were so clearly culturally based without relying on offensive stereotypes.

I treat people as people, or at least I try to. To me, that means taking into account what would offend them because of their background, and treating them differently as a result. A simple honest answer.

Others, like a KKK member, would give a muchmore negative answer if they posted honestly. However, if that kind of honest answer appeared here, a large majority of the board would flame that poster and ignore any positive discussion. That's a simple fact -- much in the way that your over-emphasis on your perception of my frivolity has turned this into a discussion of "what's this discussion about" instead of a discussion of whether other people's cultural influences affect the way you treat them. NOTE: there is no mention of positive or negative influences, just do you treat people differently?

 

[tigerjen]

I voted "yes"....only because I tend to prejudge people
on their social class, which I know is not good but growing
up here in Fairfield County, CT where a lot of people are
middle to upper class and drive around in BMWs and M-B's
and shop at the Gap and J.Crew......unfortunately we tend
to "categorize" people. I can even give an example:
Bridgeport, the largest city in the state of CT, has a lot of
minorities and before it "started to come back" we would be
like "I'm not going there at night", etc. because of all the
crime and stuff happening there (which is mostly in the East,
West, and South ends.......North End is not bad but still have to
keep your wits about you).

tigerjen

PS......I only drive a Neon......not making the money yet to
be able to afford a better car....but I like it for now

 

[Tyrael]

I've been thinking

Yeah, I do that sometimes.

I do see what WH is talking about now. Maybe I was out of line for automatically assuming she was talking about the worst possible scenario.

Anyway, sorry for accusing you of mocking the thread, WH.

Later

 

[CelestialBody]

 

[Problem Child]

Gee, is there anything that comes from you that isn't a insult, put down or just plain nasty?

Implying that you are "deep" is conceited. I don't insult people unless they say something dumb, and that was dumb. Getting into a spat with Weird Harold is dumb. He is probably the nicest, most helpful person on this board.

Don't worry, once you've been here a while and get to know people you'll realize you're the one who's acting the fool in this particular case. Or else you won't and you'll leave. Either way I can wait.

 

[Tyrael]

Too late I already discovered that part out.

I am going to say dumb things...it's human nature, so don't expect me never again to let my mouth go off before my brain can reel it in regardless of how long I'm going to be here.

I don't know Weird Harold at all. So I think I should be excused for not knowing the entire history of everyone here at lit and who has ever been naughty or nice.

The "spat" could have been a real discussion if not for the "mocking" part of my thread. Yes, I admit it I was at fault and I did so in the thread. It's unfortunate I started a fight but what's done is done.

 

[Mensa]

Re: I've been thinking

I do see what WH is talking about now. Maybe I was out of line for automatically assuming "she" was talking about the worst possible scenario.

His nic is Weird Harold and you assume it's a "she"?

 

[Tyrael]

I was talking about CB's post and that I should have looked at it differently

CB is female? Right?

I was in a hurry when I wrote that and prolly should have put CB instead of just she.