Soaking creates Puddles...

[P. B. Walker]

Requesting feedback on my second and third stories I've gotten submitted here at Literotica. Both are relative short stories (2400 to 2800 words). If you have a few minutes please give them a quick read and let me know what you think (and a good vote doesn't hurt ). Here are the links below. And yes, KillerMuffin, you can be as brutal as you like lol.

Title: Sharing Sandy's Soak
Author: P. B. Walker
Category: Erotic Couplings
Description: Man discovers girlfriend masturbating in tub and joins in.


Title: The Puddle Says It All
Author: P. B. Walker
Category: Exhibitionist & Voyeur
Description: A woman is peeped on while masturbating in her office.

Thanks.

- PBW

 

[MaxSebastian]

Well, I have to say that I found The Puddle Says It All
to be a better read than Sharing Sandy's Soak, though that story was well-written.

I didn't find the characters all that attractive in Sharing Sandy's Soak, they seemed to be characters-by-numbers, if you get what I mean. You're a good writer, though, which I think came across better in the other story, where there was a little bit more suspense - we didn't know what was going to happen - and the characters were a little more interesting, I found. I'm sure I'm not the only one who will be wondering what happens next!

Three lines in Sharing Sandy's Soak actually made me chuckle:

- Creeping along like a black-clad ninja

- Her orgasm was announced first with a high pitched squeak

- "Gaahh," she croaked unintelligibly as she pulled back and my cock left her lips.

Maybe I'm just in a comedy mood, but that last line definitely made me think you were writing about Bridget Jones of the infamous diary

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MaxSebastian