So you want me to be a good neighbor?

[SeaCat]

So you want me to be a good neighbor? Not a problem, but, let me give you a couple of hints as to how to do so.

Do not waddle over to me after looking over the heavily damaged trailer next to mine and inform me that you have heard that I am handy with my hands and therefore expect me to fix your trailer for you. (I'm busy fixing my own thank you very much.)

Do not inform me that you expect me to keep my place in a clean and tidy fashion.

Do not explain to me that you expect me and my wife to make you and your spoiled ass economy sized daughters feel welcome and comfortable.

Do not tell me that you expect me to keep my hands off your youngest daughter as she doens't know how men think. (Not a problem believe me. She's what, maybe 16 and weighs at least twice what I weigh. Oh and the lack of teeth as well as her very limited vocabulary would turn me off even if she didn't stand five feet tall and weigh more than 300 hundred pounds.)

Do not even try to convince me that you have the right to a key to my place.

Do not even think about convincing me that it will be my pleasure to cook for you whenever you decide to come over and visit. (Yep she did mention that believe it or not.)

Oh and your comments about men with long hair and Tattooes were not amusing. If you want your men to have short hair, explain that to them. I'm married.

Cat

 

[Antfarmer77]

So you want me to be a good neighbor? Not a problem, but, let me give you a couple of hints as to how to do so.

Do not waddle over to me after looking over the heavily damaged trailer next to mine and inform me that you have heard that I am handy with my hands and therefore expect me to fix your trailer for you. (I'm busy fixing my own thank you very much.)

Do not inform me that you expect me to keep my place in a clean and tidy fashion.

Do not explain to me that you expect me and my wife to make you and your spoiled ass economy sized daughters feel welcome and comfortable.

Do not tell me that you expect me to keep my hands off your youngest daughter as she doens't know how men think. (Not a problem believe me. She's what, maybe 16 and weighs at least twice what I weigh. Oh and the lack of teeth as well as her very limited vocabulary would turn me off even if she didn't stand five feet tall and weigh more than 300 hundred pounds.)

Do not even try to convince me that you have the right to a key to my place.

Do not even think about convincing me that it will be my pleasure to cook for you whenever you decide to come over and visit. (Yep she did mention that believe it or not.)

Oh and your comments about men with long hair and Tattooes were not amusing. If you want your men to have short hair, explain that to them. I'm married.

Cat

You never said you were moving into my old place!!

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

Sounds like you need to find a better class of trailer park, Cat.

 

[Guest]

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[rgraham666]

As big a pacifist as I am, I agree with Dran, Seacat.

Sigh. Humans. Sometimes I do wish we weren't such a varied species, or that there was some ethical way to cull some of the more extreme variations of their behaviour.

 

[SeaCat]

Sounds like some neighbors I used to have. They had a habit of stopping by for unannounced visits. "Oh, we don't bother with doorbells, we're neighbors."

It stopped when they arrived one day, just after I had returned from the shooting range. They arrived unannounced as usual, threw the door open and walked right in with their three kids in tow.

They found immediately themselves, husband and wifeoid, herford, or whatever she was, staring down the barrel of a Caspian Arms 10mm competition pistol. (I had just finished cleaning it)

I then explained to them, neighbors or not, when you come to my house and wish to converse with one of the residents, opening the strolling right in is not the proper procedure. The proper procedure is to ring the doorbell OR knock, please not both and once is enough. It is then proper to wait, outside the door, until an occupant of my house opens the the door and greets you. It would then be very prudent not to just push your way past and enter my home but wait until you are actually invited in.

Otherwise, one of the occupants of said house, namely me, might think you are an obnoxious intruder, which you are, and take necessary precautions to protect his home and his loved ones.

Funny, they never even so much as invited themselves to a single one of my barbeques after that. Never understood why.

My advice? Show them your gun collection and a (faked if you have to) newspaper article about you accidently shooting some nosey nieghbors. If they don't get the hint...

Fuck it. Shoot 'em. They deserve it.

LOLOLOL I like that.

I may, if they do decide to buy the place, have to break out the toys.

The first warning might have to be a poster I made a while back. (A full color poster of a man with a knife. It has three holes in the forehead, three holes in the throat and four holes in the center of the chest. All 9mm. Over the top of it my wife did in nice Caligraphy; "Is it worth it?" The whole thing is nicely laminated.)

The second warning might have to be the bullet riddled body of a Cabbage Patch Doll, with appropriate coloring added of course.

The third and final warning may just have to be the serving of Cats Infamouse Devils Chicken. (Marinated in a mix of Garlic, Onion, Chipotle and Scotch Bonnet Peppers for at least 24 hours then slow grilled with Mesquite Smoke.) I would hear them singing twice. When they eat it and 24 hours later. (Somehow I don't think they would ask for more food from us. )

Cat

 

[Guest]

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[SeaCat]

Sounds like you need to find a better class of trailer park, Cat.

Nah, I just need to make the trailer next door seem to be not worth the effort.

Cat

 

[rgraham666]

That chicken sounds more like bait than a warning, Cat.

(drools)

Is that silhouette from that incident at the firing range? I still chuckle over that story.

 

[SeaCat]

As big a pacifist as I am, I agree with Dran, Seacat.

Sigh. Humans. Sometimes I do wish we weren't such a varied species, or that there was some ethical way to cull some of the more extreme variations of their behaviour.

Nahhhhh,

I'm not that nice. I'l just let them buy the place, then show them just how unfriendly I can be. (Here, have this Pepper and Bean Casserol. Oh you need to use my washer and dryer? Not a problem, just let me finish rinsing the fish I caught this afternoon in them.)

Cat

 

[rgraham666]

You're an evil man, SeaCat.

I like that.

 

[SeaCat]

I think I need that recipe.

Actually it's an easy recipe.

In a blender toss four Chipotle Peppers and Two Scotch Bonnets as well as a chopped White Onion and four cloves of Garlic. (I usually add half a spoon of salt as well.) Puree. (This is for one pound of Chicken Wings.) Rub this on the wings, use it all. Cover and let the wings sit in the fridge for at least 24 hours.

Fire up the grill and get it going nicely. (If you have a smoke box like I do get that loaded and smoking.) Cook the wings over indirect heat with the smoke.

I like to serve it with Cuban Style Rice and Beans and a bit of Slaw.

Cat

 

[Guest]

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[SeaCat]

I'll be a fixin some for dinner tomorrow. Only I'll be using boneless skinless breast and looks like I'll need to add a couple Scotch Bonnets (also known as jabaneros though true scotch bonnets tend to be a bit sweeter) and a tad less garlic. (I have to deal with people at work.)

Works for me.

I like the sweeter taste of the Scotch Bonnets but Habeneros work nicely.

Just make sure to let it marinate for a while.

(If you want to add even more heat get your scaly paws on some Thai Peppers and add them to the Puree.)

Let me know what you think.

As with any recipe it needs tweaking.

Cat

 

[Huckleman2000]

Actually it's an easy recipe.

In a blender toss four Chipotle Peppers and Two Scotch Bonnets as well as a chopped White Onion and four cloves of Garlic. (I usually add half a spoon of salt as well.) Puree. (This is for one pound of Chicken Wings.) Rub this on the wings, use it all. Cover and let the wings sit in the fridge for at least 24 hours.

Fire up the grill and get it going nicely. (If you have a smoke box like I do get that loaded and smoking.) Cook the wings over indirect heat with the smoke.

I like to serve it with Cuban Style Rice and Beans and a bit of Slaw.

Cat

I think that's one that I'm going to pass on. Makes my hemhoroids burn just thinking about it!

I will pass on one of very few 'cooking' hints - a dollop of horseradish in the cole slaw, if it's creamy-style. Just enough to give it a little bite.

 

[SeaCat]

That chicken sounds more like bait than a warning, Cat.

(drools)

Is that silhouette from that incident at the firing range? I still chuckle over that story.

Nah, this is one I special made.

My wife has that special silhouette stashed away.

As for it being bait, for people like you, Dran and myself maybe. For most of the people I know it is torture. They sing as they eat it and as they get rid of it.

Cat

 

[SeaCat]

I think that's one that I'm going to pass on. Makes my hemhoroids burn just thinking about it!

I will pass on one of very few 'cooking' hints - a dollop of horseradish in the cole slaw, if it's creamy-style. Just enough to give it a little bite.

Ahhh now that sounds good. I haven't tried that. (I will the next time I make "Slaw.)

Thanks for the hint.

(Oh and you can make the chicken with less of a bite by substituting the Habeneros with Jalapenos, or you can just remove them completely. You do have to have the Chipotle Peppers though, they add a nice smokey flavor along with just a hint of a bite.)

Cat

 

[Guest]

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[SeaCat]

Oh, I'll be tweaking.

As for heat, I'll put it this way:

Those hot sauces they sell at the grocery? You know, the ones that say on the label, "Use only a drop or two when cooking."? I use them like catsup on hot dogs.

LOLOLOL

I knew I liked you for more than one reason.

I keep Tobasco going just to flavor my scambled Eggs and Bisquites and Gravy.

I like to rub my steaks with crushed Chipotle's 24 hours before I cook them. (Try it you'll love it.)

In the center of my dining room table there sit a Salt Shaker, A pepper Mill and three different bottles of Hot Sauce.

I have on order two strings of Chili Lights for around my Patio.

When I make Hot Dogs I prepare the buns for mine in this manner. Hot Sauce, Cheese, Onions, Jalapenos, Dog, Onions, Jalapenos, Hot Sauce.

Have you tried the newest from Tobasco? Garlic Pepper. Oh is that good on Eggs.

When you walk into my kitchen duck or be hit in the face by strings of peppers. (Not to mention Bags of Onions and Garlic.)

Cat

 

[Guest]

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[Guest]

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[SeaCat]

I love the chipotle tobasco, other tham that I avoid their stuff.

My favorite hot saces are:

Rasmon (made with scotch bonnets) Terrific flavor and my fave on hot dogs. (Don't try that at home boys and girls. )

Scorned Woman (yes that's the actual name) Vinegar based which is a point off, but it's the only sauce I've found that can make me sweat even a little. (not for weak constitutions.)

Currently in the fridge:
Rasmon
Scorned Woman
Dragon Sauce (naturally) though I have modified it to make it hotter and a tad sweeter and richer. (Molasses works wonders on some things, try it in your chili)
Pickapeppa
And Dynasty Sweet Chili Sauce (oriental) Sublime on chicken fingers and stuffed jalepenos.

BTW: For great tasting chili, skip the chili powder. Use Cayenne and Cumin. (That's what chili powder is, mostly, anyway) About a half a can of each is a good start for me. Add half a cup of molasses, ( I know, moles are scarce this year) and a pot of rich coffee once it starts to get thick. Red and yellow onions, Red, yellow and green peppers, pulled (not ground) beef, pork and venison. Red and black beans and a large can of beef broth. Three habaneros, six jalepenos and a dozen or so red chiles. (Don't scoop the peppers into your bowl unless you have scales and are accustomed to breathing fire) That's a good start for my Four Alarm Neuclear Afterburner Chili.

Sounds good to me, although some of the ingredients are hard for me to get here in Florida. (Venison for example.)

This is one cat who's breath tends to scorch flowers down to their roots.

Cat

 

[SeaCat]

BTW: Back on subject for a moment....

One of the funniest experiences of my life:

I was living just north of Cambridge, OH, on a farm I bought, 16 acres, HUGE back yard. (My own private shooting range)

I was walking out the back door to do a little IHMSA practice with my .44 (Dan Wesson 44V10 10" Bull Barrel. 5 lbs. Hog Leg) and my Thompson Contender (14" BBl in 7mm TCU).

A group of the local Jehovah's Witness pulled into my drive. (Brave considering it was 150' off the road through the trees) All four of them got out of the car with their fliers and magazines. They took on look at me toting those huge guns and got back into their car and left.

VERY quickly.

*snicker*

I like that.

Cat

 

[Stella_Omega]

Dranoel, I thought you were a dragon because of your way with virgins!

Now I know the truth...

 

[Guest]

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