So what's to do?

[NoTa2s]

What do you do when the wife looses sexual interest? There are no arguments, dislike of eachother, or resentment. It is just that the sex is so seldom, that I get the feeling I am forgeting how it is done. I am getting tired of masturbating. Divorce is not the option, for there are children involved and I am not interested on having them grow without me around or without the mother they love. So what is to do?

 

[april45]

It might be kind of deep but I assume you have asked her why she isn't interest.

 

[NoTa2s]

yes, I did several times. It gets tiredsome after times.

 

[Ohiomale]

I dont know what the issues are... but the easiest way to try to get to her... is to turn her on... tease her... make her feel desired... and she will do the same for you...

when is the last time you brought her home some flowers just because no reason... cept that she was home and on your thoughts?

I know I might be assuming to Much... but.. what was the thing that made you start to fall in love with this woman... rekindle it... I am sure her needs are in her tummy but its slowly burnt out to a little spark... need to add fuel to the spark... to get it growing like a out of controll fire...

but then again I could be wrong... maybe you are doing these things...

a random thought without knowing

 

[april45]

I agree with Ohiomale, you might need to ignight the flame that was once there.

Life takes us different places, I don't know where you are at. Does she work, are the kids small, how is the time spent when you are together?
Tell me a little more about how she spends her time.

 

[NoTa2s]

I have done these things before and it has been more than one thousand times, when I asked myself what can I do different. I have done many things different and it is not me. IT IS NOT ME!!!!. I do things for my wife, things that other married men do not do. We go out every so often, and the children are watched by the grandparents... weekdays and evenings sometime. We went together target practice, line dancing (although I can not dance), restaurants, trips to Canada, etc, etc, etc. I try to be afectionate, but I hit the Titanic's iceberg. Anything but sex. Very seldom (once maybe twice a month) misionary style, not to talk about oral or any other kind of sex. Our relationship is perfect otherwise. No arguments and complete understanding from eachother... except sex. I am almost settled on finding something on the side. There would be no understanding there.

 

[talulah]

Dear, it's very possible that it's her. If the children are small, that might be part of it. Women go through an incredible identity crisis when they're pregnant, and some just take longer to snap out of it than others. Try to think of when this happened, any of the issues surrounding it.

If it is something to do with her self esteem, then there is very little you can do, besides continuing to compliment her and tell her how sexy she is to you. I do think you should bring all your thoughts to the table though. Tell her that you're lonely, and hurting, and that you miss being close to her on all levels. Explain that your needs, and ask her to explain hers. Depending on how open-minded she is, even ask about an open relationship.

I've got my fingers crossed for you.

 

[frekendan]

seriously: is she on any medications? some affect sexual desire. this includes "the pill". alot of women have lack of interest due to the pill. try another prescription, or go off it altogether.