So, Submissives is it like this for you?

[slvjenn]

OK, I've noticed this in myself as a growing trend.

The more I get, the more I want. What I mean by this is that I used to be happy (for example) just being tied up to the bedposts, then I wanted to be more restricted, then once I was tied in a more restrictive manner I wanted to be tied in an even MORE restrictive way.

Same goes for other things. Kneeling at his feet when he told me to do so used to make my head swim, now it's nearly as normal as parking a car.

Being called a dirty name in front of someone used to make me turn a bright red instantly. Now, it just kind of makes me glance around watching reactions.

Does everyone find themselves in this type of situation where no matter what is done you're always looking for the next level?

Am I the exception in this or the norm? It really makes me nervous sometimes wondering where I'll be at in a few years. What will have to be done to give me the same feeling?

It's almost how people describe drug addictions. Always searching for the high you had the first time you tried it, always needing a bit more to achieve it.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Uh oh. sounds like you are.....addicted.

You have officially come over to the dark side....

<Luke, I am your father......>

 

[Netzach]

This doesn't apply to your experience, really, but...

I found that no Top was really able to keep the momentum going for me, take me as far as I wanted to go. I always wanted more, further, HARDER, mentally, anyway.

I began to suspect that the problem was with me, not every Top I scened with.

I got discouraged, then found myself on the Top more and more.

I found the right bottom, and the right balance for me.

 

[WynEternal]

Seems like your boundries are expanding.

 

[Violane]

I am glad you brought this up. I have had very similar feelings as you.

I started getting very close to a Dom, I found I kept wanting more, have our relationship be even more commited. I had no experience with BDSM at all before this. My friends were all very vanilla too and they made me worry that something was wrong with this relationship. So I backed away. And I told my friends that it was like a drug that I wanted it because it felt so good. I tried to stay away thinking that because if felt this way and because it was different it was somehow *wrong*. But I just couldn't do it, I couldn't deny that it felt so right. I went back to the Dom. I have accepted who I am now. And I am very happy with my choice, yes it still is scary sometimes because of the intense feelings and I am still finding my way, kind of getting more and more into it. I don't know where I will end up, but I want to be true to myself.

 

[MissTaken]

This doesn't apply to your experience, really, but...

I found that no Top was really able to keep the momentum going for me, take me as far as I wanted to go. I always wanted more, further, HARDER, mentally, anyway.

I began to suspect that the problem was with me, not every Top I scened with.

I got discouraged, then found myself on the Top more and more.

I found the right bottom, and the right balance for me.

Very interesting post.

Thank you. It is certainly food for thought.

I know submissives who have gone the distance to the degree to which a Dominant can't possibly capture their interest in the long term or they find themselves training their Dominant to do everything to the extreme they desired. These are some frustrated and unhappy submissives, IMHO.

I worry about this.
I want more.
What was exciting last summer, barely takes me in now.
I worry that I will become one of those submissives who cannot be satisfied and frankly, felt some relief in find this post...there are always other options.

More?
More intense?
More often?

Yep, I am addicted as well and am embracing that addiction.

 

[Shadowsdream]

If you look past where you are you will miss the journey.

 

[WillowPuss]

Does everyone find themselves in this type of situation where no matter what is done you're always looking for the next level?

Yes and no.

I long for more time to fully express my submissiveness; to follow all the rituals that W/we wish to have; to serve Him in all the ways I would like to.

Until the time when W/we are finally alone, then I am content to allow things to go at their own pace and speed - relishing each and every moment W/we are able to live as W/we wish.

As for taking play further ... I have found that if you leave a certain 'scene' for a few months - you can almost recapture that 'first' moment rush. I have experienced this with both some anal play and with fisting.

 

[Richard49]

If you look past where you are you will miss the journey.

Amen !!

 

[Richard49]

There is always further to go !!!!!

is it an addiction or an expression of an addiction?
Maybe
Adrenaline is addictive

I am an adrenalian addict

However if the submissive has tasted subspace
they always want to go back

For me as a Dom
the deeper joy I can take a submissive the happier I am

 

[Justina123]

Yes, I too constantly find myself wanting more and more...more restrictive bondage, longer floggings, etc. Sir calls me his "play slut".

And yet, I still get very embarassed and blush red every time I am naked at a play party or dungeon, etc... for some reason, some of these feelings just aren't diminishing. Go figure!

- justina

 

[SexyChele]

Okay, as usual, I have to say - nope. When I get the urge to get involved with BDSM, it is very intense, yes. And I find myself wanting to do different things, experiment with different toys. But, then my interest in BDSM wanes and I look at my floggers with indifference.

Of course, I am still investigating who I am, and I don't think I am quite as submissive as I once thought. In certain situations, at certain times, yes. But not all the time. Not in every situation. And not with every sexual partner. I'm more comfortable with that. I get the best of both worlds.

 

[RandomInk]

More, harder, faster, longer, More More MORE!!

The two best things in the world are saying that, and hearing it

 

[Desdemona]

There was a time when I could barely wait to try new things as my limits initially began to expand.

For whatever reason, I am content these days. I find joy in each scene and I know that, in time, we will explore the things we haven't done together. There is no rush.

 

[Red Menace]

Does everyone find themselves in this type of situation where no matter what is done you're always looking for the next level?

Am I the exception in this or the norm? It really makes me nervous sometimes wondering where I'll be at in a few years. What will have to be done to give me the same feeling?

It's almost how people describe drug addictions. Always searching for the high you had the first time you tried it, always needing a bit more to achieve it.

To some extent, yes. I remember the first time I wore my restraints in public; I was embarassed, shy and very self-conscious about it. Now I'm a bit dismayed to discover that I can wear them almost anywhere around town and no one notices or cares. I'm growing as a masochist and am always proud of myself when I can take it longer and harder than the last time. I want more rituals and signs that I am owned by someone.

But on the other side of that is the person who is leading me in this dance. What I really find myself wanting is more of him. All the play, the sex, the rituals and protocall; they're just icing on the cake. (God help me), I'm really falling in love with Sir. And I don't think I'll ever reach a point where I feel the pursuit of getting more of him will ever become stale or not enough to make me bored. He's just too skilled at keeping himself always slightly out of reach but giving me just enough to hold my interest.

Hmmmm.... although, it does kind scare me to think what I'll endure from him to be able to be part of his life.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

I'm new at being a Dom...

...and yet, I already have decided that I have no true limit short of snuff. I'm so sick...

 

[Netzach]

I'm new at being a Dom...

...and yet, I already have decided that I have no true limit short of snuff. I'm so sick...

I've been a Domme for about 8 years. And for about 3 of those, the only limit I could think of was killing someone or involving kids.

Not to be telling you what to think, but the more I play, the more limits I find I have. I think a lot of Dominants discover more limits while subs discover fewer.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

I've been a Domme for about 8 years. And for about 3 of those, the only limit I could think of was killing someone or involving kids.

Not to be telling you what to think, but the more I play, the more limits I find I have. I think a lot of Dominants discover more limits while subs discover fewer.

It's funny...no, actually it isn't. I was in a bad relationship, that contained elements of BDSM, but in a twisted way, and I was only 18 at the time. For a while after that, I wouldn't experiment at all with anything, because I thought my first time was a fair representation of BDSM.
Thanks to Lit, I am much more comfortable with my needs in this area...and more comfortable with the needs of others. Now, my true limit, I think, is going to depend on the person I'm with, because I'm probably up for anything.

 

[JoseIsWild]

I'm normally a dominant, but I am submissive sometimes and to some women. I didn't use to be at all, but now I've gotten to where I like to tied and dominated as well as dominating others. I have, on a couple of occasions, asked a girl to tie my hands behind me and play with me.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Sometimes the journey is enough, IMHO.

 

[Richard49]

Sometimes the journey is enough, IMHO.

Amen !!!

Now after Sister EBs fine sermom wiill
you fine deacons please carry the offering
plates around one more time so that these fine
people can give more as there heart directs them .......

Give me an Amen

 

[Ebonyfire]

Amen !!!

Now after Sister EBs fine sermom wiill
you fine deacons please carry the offering
plates around one more time so that these fine
people can give more as there heart directs them .......

Give me an Amen

Amen!

 

[slvjenn]

just in case this bothers anyone....

i am reading all of your replies...just taking it all in...


(i post this because it sometimes bothers me when people ask things then you don't hear anything else out of them)

 

[Richard49]

Hard limits

kids
scat
blood
killing/snuff
Switching

 

[Netzach]

murder
Kids
scat

later added:

"forced" homosexuality (though I love to play with gay boys/girls)
"forced" crossdressing (though I love to play with crossdressers)
catheters
involving random bystanders in ways that they didn't consent to and would be embarrassed by
scenes that the bottom is using as an alternative to psychotherapy


I'm sure there's more