So my girlfriend wants me to edit her stuff...

[JohnnyDeath]

...and it's probably not a very good idea, since I can't really be objective. 'Cos, you know, I love her and stuff.

Anyway, I'm really pleased that she is writing erotica, and I think it would be great if she could get some encouragement and advice from an objective person, and she's tentatively agreed. She's 28 and she's mostly written about exhibitionism and "hotwifing" so far, and she's personally into some other stuff that she may or may not write about.

She says she doesn't like too much characterisation or setup in her erotica, but she wants to learn how to write it better. Her motivation for that is purely to get her word counts up, but I think that what somebody needs to guide her towards is how to make that stuff interesting both to her and the reader. She's very clever and well-educated and I think she would make a pleasant student to somebody who wants to coach somebody not so much on grammar and spelling but more on style and content.

Okay, enough wisdom out of me. If anybody is interested in taking her on, please PM me and I'll put her in touch with you.

Her writing sample (first 6 paras of a 2 pager):

Her vaginal muscles spasmed with exhilaration around the vibrating egg: just one flick of the button had switched off all logic and sent electrical currents from deep in her core through her body to her tingling nipples. It was a great idea of hers to use her favourite toy at the party.

The date had been noted on the calendar for over a month. She always looked forward to her boyfriend’s work celebrations as it gave her the opportunity to flirt with and titillate all of his workmates; each of them young, single and sexy. She knew the affect she had on them, but none of them would dare to try it on with her. She was in control and this was the biggest ego-boost for her. Her boyfriend loved that they all found her as incredibly sexy as he did. But this night was going to be extra-special for her man, she had decided, and she had been planning it from the day he had asked her to come with him.

When her boyfriend had picked her up earlier that evening he had appreciatively run his eyes and hands up and down the smooth contours of her figure sheathed in a brand new black catsuit. ‘Maybe we could just stay in tonight?’ he had ventured, starting to lower her front zip. With a smile she had handed him the egg’s remote control and a glint of recognition had crossed his eye. A saucy grin had spread across his face and grabbing her hand he had said, ‘Let’s go.’

The catsuit and heels had caused as much excitement for the guys at her boyfriend’s work do as the little vibrating plaything had for her throughout the evening. He had been in complete control of her internal sensations all night and just the thought of what they were doing without anyone else knowing sent another thrill through her already responsive body.

But other than her boyfriend, one pair of eyes in particular had been paying closer attention to the curve of her PVC-encased hips than any of the other guys had in the club that night. It was those of the dark and mischievous-looking barman with the eyebrow piercing. As she approached the bar again she noted with approval how he also checked out her cleavage, which peeped appealing out of the top of her catsuit. Waiting her turn, she closed her eyes and savoured the sensations as the toy stimulated her juices. She hadn’t seen her man for a while. ’He must be out of range with the remote,’ she thought. Hot and horny, she wondered whether she should pass on this last drink, find him and take him home to bed. But the sexy blue eyes of the barman turned to her and his smile invited her order.

‘What do you recommend for someone who’s hot as hell?’ she asked, playfully. He raised an eyebrow, a movement she had never been able to resist.
‘I don’t think there’s any drink that will cool YOU down!’ he observed attentively. She caught a waft of his musky scent and smiled saucily.
‘You’re right. I’ve changed my mind. I think some cool night air would be better. Care to join me?’
Eyes locked on hers, he said nonchalantly, ’Yeah, I’m due a break…’ With that she turned and walked towards the back exit of the club, feeling him watch the fluid movement of her buttocks as she walked away.

 

[cuntrygirl]

absolutely wonderful.

 

[snooper]

...and it's probably not a very good idea, since I can't really be objective. ...

That's not why it's a very bad idea.

If you praise her story to the high heavens she'll worry that you are just trying to flatter her, and really you don't like her work.

If you criticise her story she'll worry that you are just trying to flatten her, and really you are just jealous of her work.

If you are middling about her story she'll worry that you don't care about her any more.

A fair adage is "You can't make a friend into an editor, but you can make an editor into a friend".

 

[JohnnyDeath]

That's wise advice, Snooper. Thank you.

And Cuntry, thank you for the kind words! I'll pass them along.

 

[Penelope Street]

Did you already try editing her stuff and run into problems?

Hi Johnny,

I don't see any reason close friends can't become editors if there exists a certain level of trust between the persons involved. Although I'm not sure I'd call it editing, my SOs read my stories before anyone else, and they always have comments and suggestions. This arrangement has become part of our relationship and it's never caused any issues- but they know I want honesty and I know they will be honest, so maybe that's why. One of my fondest memories is of the day my love told me my burgundy meatballs sucked. Of course, that's just my personal experience and everyone is different, but if you haven't already tried editing (whatever that means to you two) your girlfriend's stuff, I think you should.

Take Care,
Penny