So I've been sitting in Jail for the past twelve hours and it's all TB4P's fault.

[Spinaroonie]

In response to the telephone number thing, which I'm still not sure what it really was, Teddybear posted his phone number- in a random order.

So, with the temptation out there and the mathematical chances of getting it right a little bit lowered when you consider that the first six digits have to go into a certain area, I played a little phone roulette. So I get a list of area codes and suffixes and start imitating the scene from sneakers where "C Tech Astronomy" becomes "Too Many Secrets". SPOILER. Oh. I should've put that before the spoiler. SPOILER- I didn't have scrabble (TM) pieces there since they don't have number tiles. It's just a bad metaphor.

Anyways, so I try a few things guessing on an approximation of TB4P's location postings, which, in retrospect, I should've paid a lot more attention to.

The first five times got me "no longer in service" messages. The sixth got me U-Haul. The seventh got me a woman. Did I interupt TB4P in the middle of pre-coital banter? What's the fuss? Tell me what's happening!

Woman: Hello?
Me: Is Tee Bee Four Pee there?
Woman: WHAT?
Me: Tee Bee Four Pee!
Woman: OH LORDY!
Me: what
Woman: JAMES! IT'S THAT GUY AGAIN!
Me: what
Woman: THIS IS YOUR LAST OBSCENE PHONE CALL, PERV!
Me: Teddybear? Is a man named Teddybear there?
Woman: YOUR SICK GAME IS OVER!
Me: Sorry. Wrong number.

So, all is good for about an hour and a half and then somebody knocks on the door. I answer it and it's a squad car. See, in my town there's more cops per person than there are in Las Vegas. It's a speed trap town so the cops don't have a whole fuck of a lot to do.

So they start asking me if I've been using the phone. Uh oh. They told me that a lady reported a STRING of obscene phone calls over the past three weeks and has just now gotten caller ID and found that the most recent call has come from my house. Uh oh. They ask if anyone else was home. They weren't. Uh oh.

Long story short: Non-kinky handcuffs, never tell a cop you know your constitutional rights- they don't give a fuck, small town prison cells are kinda empty on Mondays and when you do get a cell mate, they won't want to talk much.

Lesson: Luck sometimes kicks you right in the groin.

j/k

 

[Spinaroonie]

Bump for the man himself.

 

[unclej]

there's a lesson here somewhere spin but i'm damned if i can figure it out.

uh, merry christmas?

 

[juicylips]

*Laughing*

 

[Spinaroonie]

there's a lesson here somewhere spin but i'm damned if i can figure it out.

uh, merry christmas?

The lesson:

PILATE

But what is truth?
Is truth a changing law?
We both have truths.
Are mine the same as yours?

MOB

Crucify him! Crucify him!

PILATE

What do you mean?
You'd crucify your king?

MOB

We have no king but Caesar!

PILATE

He's done no wrong.
No, not the slightest thing.

MOB

We have no king but Caesar!
Crucify him!

PILATE

What is this new respect for Caesar?
'Till now this has been noticeably lacking.
Who is this Jesus? Why is he different?
You choose Messiahs by the sackfull.

MOB

We need him crucified,
It's all you have to do.
We need him crucified,
It's all you have to do.

 

[Spinaroonie]

Spoiler: I didn't get raped.

 

[unclej]

damn, they can't really crucify you for making obscene phone calls where you live can they...man, you need to move to texas.

 

[Spinaroonie]

damn, they can't really crucify you for making obscene phone calls where you live can they...man, you need to move to texas.

Guess where I live, G.

 

[unclej]

umm, texas?

 

[Guest]

 

[Guru]

 

[Spinaroonie]

umm, texas?

No. Tex reprasent.

U wanna hit Grapevine?

 

[Sillyman]

You know, if you ever want to call me Spin, you can feel free to just ask.

 

[Spinaroonie]

i was laughing pretty hard before I hit the botto of the post


by then I was rolling

Thank you for laughing at my pain.

 

[Lancecastor]

That's The Way The Girls Are From Texas

Well, I met a girl from Texas 'bout a year ago
Hadn't known her for too long when I had to let her go
You see, she had a razor, was ten inches or so
And every night you'd hear her knocking at my door
She said, ";Baby, I'll give you the clothes on my back
You can have everything that I've got in my shack
But if you ever try to leave they'll take your out in sack
'Cause me and my razor will see to that";

That's the way the girls are from Texas
That's the way the girls are from Texas
That's the way the girls are from Texas

I thought about my situation, decided not to tarry
For my own self preservation I decided we should marry
When the preacher started reading 'bout 'till death do us part
I told him, ";Skip it, we had that understanding right from the start";

That's the way the girls are from Texas
That's the way the girls are from Texas (Houston to San Antone)
That's the way the girls are from Texas (Got to love 'em right or leave 'em
alone)

Well, we settled down, got me a little old job, '65 Fairlane Ford
Every Friday night I would stop in and cash my pay check down at the grocery
store
They had a little girl worked in there, must have been about seventeen
She was the cutest thing I had ever seen
It's the same old story and I'm afraid it wasn't too very long
Before we had fallen deeply in love and I knew it was wrong
I said baby, we got to stop this thing right here
Or my woman is gonna cut my throat from ear to ear, that's right
In tearful supplication, she looked up in my face
I could feel her heart was breaking as these sad words she did say
";You should have told me you was married, baby
She pulled out a forty-five and let me have it, right smack between the eyes

That's the way the girls are from Texas
That's the way the girls are from Texas
That's the way the girls are from Texas

She was guilty, I was dead
Now, what'd you think that the old judge said ?
";Ah, that's just the way the girls are down here in Texas
Case dismissed!";

That's the way the girls are from Texas
That's the way the girls are from Texas (Houston to San Antone)
That's the way the girls are from Texas (Got to love 'em right or leave 'em
alone, boy)

 

[teddybear4play]

It's "Setec Astronomy," dumbass.

And it wasn't random, it was numeric order: 0233455779

Tee Bee Four Pee

 

[phrodeau]

For Spin - Merry Xmas

 

[T.H. Oughts]

In New Zealand you dial *52 before making obscene phone calls.... caller ID does not pick up the number that way


What a shame there was no jail house sex... could have really given us a giggle....

 

[Spinaroonie]

In New Zealand you dial *52 before making obscene phone calls.... caller ID does not pick up the number that way


What a shame there was no jail house sex... could have really given us a giggle....

I'll have to remember that when I regain phone privildges on my 30th birthday.

 

[Spinaroonie]

It's "Setec Astronomy," dumbass.

And it wasn't random, it was numeric order: NO NO NO DEVIL NUMBERS

Tee Bee Four Pee

Stop tempting me.

 

[teddybear4play]

North Central Indiana.

There's your area code. I've dropped hints about my location in a couple of "hometown" threads. Shit, if you can find it, I've also revealed enough of my name to give you a headstart in the phone book.

0233455779

a man named Teddybear

 

[teddybear4play]

You can also bribe the people who have my number. There's at least 4 people who do.

TB4p

 

[Spinaroonie]

You can also bribe the people who have my number. There's at least 4 people who do.

TB4p

im not gonna call u. u missed ur chance. i went 2 jail

 

[teddybear4play]

I award this thread +5 points for overall hilarity.

TB4p

 

[Spinaroonie]

I award this thread +5 points for overall hilarity.

TB4p

You try talking about something else over Christmas dinner. No, tonight it was all "Why did you make those perv calls?" and "When is cousin Keith going to get married?".