So I put myself out there...AGAIN

[PacificBlue]

I told the guy that I've been talking to for several weeks today that I was interested in more. This is a face-to-face thing...not somebody I met over the computer.

His reply... "I'm flattered" "I guess the ball's in my court now"

That was it...nothing more.

Somebody needs to be brutually honest and tell me if I've just been beaten with an ugly stick. I consider myself a smart, attractive, funny woman...this is the fourth time I've put myself out there with absolutely no return in the last several months.

For a limited time only...


*picture deleted*

 

[PacificBlue]

That answers that.

The silence was deafening...

 

[Kitte]

Honey I didnt get to see you I have always wanted to. Im willing to trade..though I stick my ugly mug up here all the time

 

[cg_allstar]

Sorry. Missed it.

 

[koalabear]

PB......PHFFFTTTTTTTTTTT.... I didn't see any ugly stick marks! Most posters are busy arguing on a drama thread.

 

[Tropism]

That answers that.

The silence was deafening...

Um, the pic was only there ten minutes!!!
But honestly, if their only basis is appearances, then maybe theyre not worth it.

 

[Cheyenne]

Hey, I just got here! You have to wait more then 10 minutes for an answer!

But besides the question about your looks- I don't see anything wrong with his answer. Wait to see what he does next.

 

[PacificBlue]

People base initial attraction on appearance. If you don't pass that test...you never get to second base.

 

[intrigued]

Whoa.

You need to step back, take a very deep breath and just stop. Just because you are feeling this, and having these thoughts, does not mean it is reality. This is your perception of it, and frankly, you are beating yourself up, jumping the gun, and actually I think you may have a bit of self~sabotage going on.

Try to just clear your head, stop being impatient, and give the man a chance to do things in his own way. Just give him that chance. Don't say or do another thing...just let it be. You just might be suprised....

 

[PacificBlue]

For those that missed it...

 

[MorgaineLaFay]

People base initial attraction on appearance. If you don't pass that test...you never get to second base.

This couldn't be farther from the truth darlin'.

 

[CarolineOh]

You look just great, sweetie. Are you sure he isn't just bashful or nervous?

 

[morninggirl5]

People base initial attraction on appearance. If you don't pass that test...you never get to second base.

Add the word SOME before people and you'll have a statement i can agree with.


Of course, those are the people that i avoid as often as possible. If appearance is the sole basis for their attraction to someone, then they're probably not going to be interesting enough for me.

Don't lower yourself to their standards by doubting yourself. Raise your own standards and expect them to be met. You'll be pleasantly suprised at the results, i think.

 

[Cheyenne]

Geez, you're a lot thinner than I expected based on the way you talk about yourself! You'll be just fine. Nothing ugly about you at all. I just posted this on another thread tonight- I am fat and I'm working on it. But if someone doesn't like me the way I am right now, but will love me if I'm thinner, I don't need them as a friend.

Now, like I said earlier, this guy hasn't done anything wrong yet. He hasn't had time! LOL You told him you're interested, and that took guts on your part. Now give him a chance to see what he does next!

 

[bratgirlbound]

i think you are just lovely and would wait and see what happens before you give up ship. like someone said a minute ago, he could just be nervous, shy whatever. by the way, you look like a great person to hang out at the mall and drink coffee with!

 

[Kitte]

Umm honey if you got beat with the ugly stick I been beat with the BUTT ugly stick....you are ADORABLE

 

[dreamer]

I told the guy that I've been talking to for several weeks today that I was interested in more. This is a face-to-face thing...not somebody I met over the computer.

His reply... "I'm flattered" "I guess the ball's in my court now"

That was it...nothing more.

Somebody needs to be brutually honest and tell me if I've just been beaten with an ugly stick. I consider myself a smart, attractive, funny woman...this is the fourth time I've put myself out there with absolutely no return in the last several months.

For a limited time only...


*picture deleted*

You are NOT ugly. Need I say it again?> sigh... People suck. This may be a case in which it's better you found out now than latter that he fits into that group.

Putting yourself out there is really tough. I've recently put my heart laden sleeve out there too...<fingers crossed>

All I can suggest is be true to yourself, and if you find someone who values that every ounce of pain, fear, and worry is worth it.

 

[Persephone36]

Whoa.

You need to step back, take a very deep breath and just stop. Just because you are feeling this, and having these thoughts, does not mean it is reality. This is your perception of it, and frankly, you are beating yourself up, jumping the gun, and actually I think you may have a bit of self~sabotage going on.

Ditto, ditto, ditto -- ad infinitum. What the smart Southern lady said.

Don't use your projections of what you believe he is thinking to justify your *secret* comdemnation of yourself.

Don't use him as your excuse for a lacking in self-esteem. And learn NOW not to give your power over to someone -- anyone else. You decide how you think of yourself, you don't like yourself -- then work on it. Not changing anything about yourself -- just to start loving yourself. You don't really care about his opinion anyway -- not deep down. You want someone to convince you you're beautiful or worthy or lovable...

...but it won't happen -- ever. The only one who'll ever convince you of those things -- is you.

PB -- you need to think seriously about compassionately accepting yourself and loving yourself -- as you are, right now, even if you never changed a single thing about yourself. Because that is the only you, you ever have. The one right now, in this moment. You won't love yourself any more or less in any *supposed* moment in the future.

Consider what you don't like about yourself, what you feel insecure about to be gifts -- because they're going to *force* you to either learn to love yourself -- or to waste a lot more years perpetuating self-hate, in all it's sneaky little forms.

Believe me, I know what I'm talking about.

 

[Liontamr]

People base initial attraction on appearance. If you don't pass that test...you never get to second base.

I know others don't agree and while I won't say ALL people are like that, I am very willing to agree that 90% of people are.

But you know what I realized a while ago? If a person female or male is pathetic enough to pass judgment on me before spending ten minutes with me to see what I am like then plain and simple I say "fuck 'em" I have more to worry about in life than someone's petty thoughts.

And I hear you on the "putting yourself out there part" ... A few weeks ago after months of just chatting with each other when ever we went to each others place of work I gave this woman my phone number when it appeared that she might quit her job soon. With the phone number I told her that we should go out for coffee sometime.

Not a peep since. Last week as I was just heading into my apartment building I saw her across the street. I waved, and I damn sure know she saw me because for a second we locked eyes.. Then she turned her back to me.

Maybe not as serious a situation as your's but kind of in the same time zone, so you aren't alone.

 

[PacificBlue]

He isn't shy. He's been flirting with me for the past month. I finally got the nerve to volly back.

by flirting I mean... going out of his way to talk to me, little touches on the shoulder, back, hand, etc.

 

[Vilac]

Well...I missed both viewings.

That'll teach me to stay away from Lit for more than an hour at a time. lol

V~~~~

 

[PacificBlue]

Well...I missed both viewings.

That'll teach me to stay away from Lit for more than an hour at a time. lol

V~~~~

I'm officially going back into the closet now.

 

[Vilac]

Very pretty...great smile....and you look AMAZINGLY like a good friend of my ex-wife's. I mean....it's damn eerie.

I'll have to see if I can find an old picture of her to send to you. You'll be shocked.

Thanks PB!!
V~~~

 

[PacificBlue]

Very pretty...great smile....and you look AMAZINGLY like a good friend of my ex-wife's. I mean....it's damn eerie.

I'll have to see if I can find an old picture of her to send to you. You'll be shocked.

Thanks PB!!
V~~~

You didn't happen to want to fuck this friend did you?

I have a perpetually dirty mind.

 

[Vilac]

You didn't happen to want to fuck this friend did you?

I have a perpetually dirty mind.

ROFLMAO...no, dear. She was a sweet woman who happens to be married to a friend of mine. The four of us would go out often. LOL

I'll brb...I'm gonna go check a photo album. Maybe I can find a shot of her.

V~~~