So, exactly what "constitutes" (ha!) - a healthy dump?

[Sparky Kronkite]

I've heard.......

They should be relativly solid, of a natural dark coco-brown, only be slightly stinky - and float!

Yes float!

Does this mean (if true) that anything else - any deviation - is unhealthy?

Unconstitutional?

If so..... MY GAWD!

I'm in deep shit!

And it colored weird and it sinks and stinks - or worse - AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

It's liquid!!!!

Oh my God! I'm doomed!!!!

 

[Ambrosious]

Nope, if it floats there is too much balsa wood in your diet, and that ain't healthy. Unless you are a pine car derby car maker, then it is ok.

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

It was explained to me as necessary ruffage...

If it's too dense - and sinks - then you have not had enough salad shit.

Salad shooter - salad shooter.

 

[Ambrosious]

And I heard that floating turds was an indication of too much fat. Or conspiracy novels.

 

[Todd]

my doctor told me that they should be a flat brown, odor irrelevant unless it smells like dead animals, and that they should be mid floaters, that is , that they are not on the top but they don't sink to the bottom either.

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Hmmmmmm.....?????

Too pooped to pop.

What's the real truth?

What the scientific, medical make-up of a healthy turd?

Calling Doctor Colon, Doctor Bowel, Doctor Colon.....

 

[Ambrosious]

Todd

I heard the same thing, but from a Mason.

 

[Todd]

Re: Todd

I heard the same thing, but from a Mason.

He couldn't of been a Mason ain't no Mason that knows the truth about the dump

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

What a shit head!!!!

http://garnet.acns.fsu.edu/~wdr1500/explscan.gif

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Turd Types - from Doctor Sparky

GHOST TURD
The kind where you feel the turd come out, but there isn't any turd in the toilet.
CLEAN TURD
The kind where you crap it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
WET TURD
The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some
toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you won't ruin your pants with a stain.
SECOND WAVE TURD
It happens when you're done craping and you've pulled up your pants to your knees and you
realize that you have to crap some more.
POP A VEIN IN YOUR HEAD TURD
The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.
RICHARD SIMMONS TURD
You crap so much you lose 30 pounds.
LINCOLN LOG TURD
The kind of turd that is so huge that you're afraid to flush it without breaking it into little pieces
with the toilet brush.
GASSY TURD
It's noisy and everyone within earshot is giggling. "That's cool" - Butt-Head
DRINKER TURD
The kind of turd you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is
the tread marks on the bottom of the toilet.
BH: "Hey Beavis, have you ever drank a beer?"
B: "Uh... yeah, hmm heh."
BH: "Oh yeah? Where'd you get it from?"
B: "This like, uh, guy gave it to me."
BH: "Liar. You've never drank a beer."
B: "Shutup Butt-Head!"
CORN TURD
Self-explanitory.
"GEE, I WISH I COULD TURD" TURD
It's the kind where you want to make a turd but all you do is sit on the toilet cramped and fart a
few times.
SPINAL TAP TURD
"Tap is cool" - Beavis That's where it hurts so bad coming out you'd swear it was leaving you
sideways.
WET CHEEKS TURD (the power dump)
The kind that comes out of your butt so fast your cheeks get splashed with water.
LIQUID TURD
The kind where yellow-brown liquid shoots out of your butt and splatters all over the toilet bowl.
MEXICAN FOOD TURD
It smells so bad that the bathroom must be condemmed.
UPPERCLASS TURD
The kind that thinks their turd doesn't smell.
FISHERMAN'S BOBBER TURD
The kind where you are in a public restroom, there are two people waiting on you stall, you crap
and flush 2 times, but several golfball size pieces are still floating above the water line.
AMBUSH TURD
This kind never occurs at home, but usually at a party or while playing golf. It's the result of
trying to fart just a little, but you end up with trower chili and you have to walk bow- legged for
the rest of the day.
CAT TURD
Thin turds like the kind that cats leave in the garden.
KAMIKAZE TURD
The kind that seems to leave your butt before you get to the toilet.
NOW AND LATER TURD
You turd some now and save some for later.
APRIL FOOL'S TURD
The kind that feels like a Lincoln Log Turd but turns out to be a bobber.
RABBIT TURD
A bunch of pellets.
GUILLOUTINE TURD
The kind you cut in half before your done.
LAVA TURD (Fire Ass)
Slight burning sensation.
TWO WAY TURD (Surf and Turf)
This usually occurs when your sick and you puke and turd at the same time.
MOSS TURD
Usually associated with the runs and looks like pond scum on top of the water.
CATFISH TURD
The kind that floats on the bottom of the bowl.
STEALTH TURD
Doesn't make a sound. The kind you hope for in a public facility.
TAGGER TURD
When you leave your mark on the back of the toilet bowl.

 

[Ambrosious]

Cute. Just cute.

 

[sariethebrat]

hmmmmmm.....my shit don't float....very impressive shithead sparky...smiles...