Snippety

[bluntforcemama]

I have a problem... I need advice on what to do about someone who wants more than I'm willing to offer. I offered friendship, but apparently their version of being friends involves a lot more than I ever gave to a friendship, and I think I give a lot. I'm very busy, and perhaps my interest has dwindled. Any thoughts?

 

[iann666]

I have a problem... I need advice on what to do about someone who wants more than I'm willing to offer. I offered friendship, but apparently their version of being friends involves a lot more than I ever gave to a friendship, and I think I give a lot. I'm very busy, and perhaps my interest has dwindled. Any thoughts?

Perhaps it's not you and your friend is just asking and/or expecting too much
Always a tricky problem good luck with it
Ian

 

[Rambling Rose]

Have you considered telling them just that, Myst? This doesn't sound like a friendship you are hellbent on keeping if it means the kind of commitment they want from you. Is it possible that by being direct and upfront you may redefine your friendship? Or will they disappear? And if they did, would that be a bad thing?

 

[Asendin]

I have a problem... I need advice on what to do about someone who wants more than I'm willing to offer. I offered friendship, but apparently their version of being friends involves a lot more than I ever gave to a friendship, and I think I give a lot. I'm very busy, and perhaps my interest has dwindled. Any thoughts?

if they can not take all you can give not much you can do, you would be a great friend to have, even if you are very sexually attracting to men, which you are..

 

[erosman]

more words for composting ?

Hello Myst, When I read about your 'problem', my mind immediately went back to aportion of a book that I finished recently. The book is Justine by Lawrence Duller. At the very end of the book, the author/narrator writes this regarding a lady friend from his past.
"I have decided to leave Clea's last letter unanswered. I no longer wish to coerce anyone, to make promises, to think of life in terms of compacts, resolutions, covenants. It will be up to Clea to interpret my silence according to her own needs and desires, to come to me if she has need or not, as the case may be."
This may not be terribly profound, but as one who always thinks I have to have an answer for all my friends or gestures of friendship, I found an odd sort of relief in this concept of responding with silence. Maybe just more Bantha(sp?) fodder.
Good luck!

 

[miles]

Just let me know who it is. I'm psychotic, and if they won't play, I'll harass them.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Best thing to do is non-agressive plain talk, sis.

"I like you, I think you're one of the better friends that I have. I don't want a relationship with you beyond friendship. If you want more than that, then I'm sorry, but I can't be that to you, it's just not there. I don't want to lead you on and I don't want you to think that there may be something there that isn't. I really value you as a friend and I don't want to lose you. But I don't want to treat you like dirt either, I want to be a friend to you as well and friends don't lie to each other."

There will be pain. It's always painful, but a little pain getting rid of the appendix is better than a ton of pain when it ruptures.

 

[LukkyKnight]

I need advice on what to do about someone who wants more than I'm willing to offer. I offered friendship, but apparently their version of being friends involves a lot more than I ever gave to a friendship, and I think I give a lot. I'm very busy, and perhaps my interest has dwindled. Any thoughts?

Dwindled would be the key as I read your description. "That's not the direction I see this developing in; it is more than I anticipated from the word friendship. If what you're suggesting is a condition of continuing to make some time for each other it may represent the point at which our paths divide..."

~shrug~
Be yourself, listen to your heart.

 

[bluntforcemama]

Thanks to all of you who mentioned a suggestion or two. I think I made up my mind a while ago, but was uneasy about it. So, thanks for the push and your own philosophies. It will hurt this person, I know. I hope not much.