Slightly Puzzled After First Day For New Story

[Belegon]

About 45 people were kind enough to look here first and saw a blank thread...I had tech difficulties with Lit last night, very sorry about that


Slightly Puzzled In California

My latest story just got posted a little over a day ago. It is a new adventure starring characters from the first stories I ever posted on Lit, just under a year ago.

I think I've progressed as a writer in the last year and yet the voting is starting off lower than any of my previous efforts. I was wondering if any of you who feel so inclined might give it a read and let me know your thoughts as to why it has started slower than it's predecessors.

I have a couple of thoughts: 1) It takes a little longer to get the actual sex started in this story. Are some readers becoming impatient? 2) I had one comment from a non-Lit source that was disappointed in the lack of direct girl-on-girl action. Perhaps some others have been upset to find it lacking?

The story is in the group sex category and involves a MFF threesome. You can follow this link if you are interested:

A Beautiful Friendship

Thank you in advance for anyone who reads it and double thanks for any comments. I'm just trying to reach and please the largest audience possible and become a better writer.

 

[cloudy]

I liked it, Bel.....really enjoyed it!

 

[biplaymate420]

well maybe there was something to an opinion outside of your loyal crew ;0

 

[Belegon]

well maybe there was something to an opinion outside of your loyal crew ;0

Which is one reason I'm going to get your input on the "seduction prequel"

 

[cantdog]

For me, the most engaging part to write is the seduction, the lead-in, people circling each other sniffing, the final straw that tumbles them into bed together. But I understand people like to read about sex in sex stories, for some inexplicable reason.

You write pretty darn well, especially now, but if you believe that the delay in the sex is the difficulty, depart from the chronological and cut the seduction in as a flashback from the opening scene of the sex, or some such device. Have your cake and eat it too. It's easier to write chronologically, and you make fewer continuity mistakes, but you can cut and paste, which is sooo liberating.

Sky's the limit, so long as you hold your audience's attention.

 

[Belegon]

Thanks cant, I like the flashback idea, think I will use it. Thank you for the kind words as well. See ya in da AH!

 

[cloudy]

Or....you could do the dream thing, like I did in my last one....