Slightly amused.

SuddenStop

Literotica Guru
Joined
Oct 11, 2008
Posts
941
An amusing thing to me lately is that every man who has contacted me and told me they were different than all the rest of the men on literotica.com always seem to end up being exactly the same.
The same old tired come on lines.
The same old "My wife doesn't know I am here." and they log off quickly like a little boy being caught with a playboy when she walks into the room.
The same old line about how they are well spoken and then when you get past hello they start with the net speak and "U r so hawt baby." even though they have never seen me or even know what I look like yet.
The same old lack of imagination or ability to be descriptive past "I shove my massive 15 inch cock into your tiny pussy and make you moan and scream my name." All I can think to that is, oh really? Wow, with you telling me how I feel and what I say, why do you even need me to be involved?
The really funny one lately was the guy who actually had the balls to tell me how lucky I was that all I had to do was clean house that day (on my day off) while he was doing paperwork because mans work is so much harder than anything a woman has to do around the house. And why would I not want to role play or feel frisky around him?

Anyone else have any good stories like these or actually meet someone who breaks the norm?
 
Sturgeon's Law: 90% of everything is crap.

Not something you can really avoid, not something you can change.
 
Nothing turns me on more than "Hi, I'm 20 and into older women. Do you have naked pics? Do you cam?" Be still my freakin' heart.
 
Nothing turns me on more than "Hi, I'm 20 and into older women. Do you have naked pics? Do you cam?" Be still my freakin' heart.

I have never heard that one before. Not in the last 30 seconds anyways. :rolleyes:
 
Eh, we had our creativity schooled out of us. .....and apparently, our intelligence and tact. ;)
 
I once got a PM that read something along the lines of "Your profile gave me blue balls. What are you going to do about it?" or some such drivel. At the time, I was just returning from a Lit hiatus and hadn't yet completed my profile.

Turns out, the guy was going down the list of users who were online and sending a form-letter PM to any female-sounding username. And here I thought I was special. *sob*
 
I once got a PM that read something along the lines of "Your profile gave me blue balls. What are you going to do about it?" or some such drivel. At the time, I was just returning from a Lit hiatus and hadn't yet completed my profile.

Turns out, the guy was going down the list of users who were online and sending a form-letter PM to any female-sounding username. And here I thought I was special. *sob*

I had a little boy (definately was not a man after talking to him) tell me how hot my pictures were and how bad he wanted me. I told him I have never posted nude photos and he twists it to say that he just knew I was hot without even seeing me. Some guys lose way too much blood when they get horny.
 
This works both ways. Give me a woman that doesn't use LOL as punctuation and actually seems interested in holding up her end of the conversation and I'll call that a definite good start.
 
An amusing thing to me lately is that every man who has contacted me and told me they were different than all the rest of the men on literotica.com always seem to end up being exactly the same.
The same old tired come on lines.
The same old "My wife doesn't know I am here." and they log off quickly like a little boy being caught with a playboy when she walks into the room.
The same old line about how they are well spoken and then when you get past hello they start with the net speak and "U r so hawt baby." even though they have never seen me or even know what I look like yet.
The same old lack of imagination or ability to be descriptive past "I shove my massive 15 inch cock into your tiny pussy and make you moan and scream my name." All I can think to that is, oh really? Wow, with you telling me how I feel and what I say, why do you even need me to be involved?
The really funny one lately was the guy who actually had the balls to tell me how lucky I was that all I had to do was clean house that day (on my day off) while he was doing paperwork because mans work is so much harder than anything a woman has to do around the house. And why would I not want to role play or feel frisky around him?

Anyone else have any good stories like these or actually meet someone who breaks the norm?


Sudden, sounds like you'd enjoy the Crazy PM Thread....lol.....go there, you'll see....
 
I have to agree with Runeblade. I have met my fair share of women who only reply with short little sentences like "nod" or "hehe" and the like. You just happen to see more women make threads to complain about it because they feel entitled to make fun of people who have approached them, though i'm sure you ladies have been all proper and dainty and have never done anything wrong yourselves.

See, now i've gone off and ranted. I just get tired of seeing these threads where women make fun of (insert whatever adjective) men that have sent them PM's. There are a lot of bad women here to, just less numbers of you to show the stats.
 
"the guy who actually had the balls to tell me how lucky I was that all I had to do was clean house that day (on my day off) while he was doing paperwork because mans work is so much harder than anything a woman has to do around the house."

do these kinds of blatantly sexist fucks still exist? rhetorical.
 
I'm always torn about how to feel about guys who make bad approaches and make fools of themselves. On one hand, I do get a healthy dose of amusement from seeing guys who think they're all that go down in flames because they're clearly not using what's left of their brains and are naturally selecting themselves out of the competition. On the other hand, it seems like so many guys do it that every woman's shields are always set to maximum all the time just as a matter of convenience, which totally ruins it for everyone else.
 
Since i have been on here i have tried my best not to insult or hurt anyone. I do have issues with threads like these at times. The weirdest pm thread doesnt bother me but these "i cant believe he said that" threads are pretty funny and lame ..TO ME . but to each her own. Im just curious..What exactly would you expect? If i get pms that i think make no sense i just move on, i have no idea who is on the other end no use hurting anyone. just my opinion
 
Then when shes unconsious I do stuff to her face, is always a funny one
 
I'm always torn about how to feel about guys who make bad approaches and make fools of themselves. On one hand, I do get a healthy dose of amusement from seeing guys who think they're all that go down in flames because they're clearly not using what's left of their brains and are naturally selecting themselves out of the competition. On the other hand, it seems like so many guys do it that every woman's shields are always set to maximum all the time just as a matter of convenience, which totally ruins it for everyone else.


For me, the bad ones make me appreciate the good ones that much more.

And I'll agree with the other ladies on one point: the whole "I sent a PM to every single person with a feminine user name and didn't even bother to read a post or click a profile" is way more annoying than awkward, or poorly written PM's.
I'm sure there are women here who send terrible PM's and give awful chat. Rant about them all you want. :)
 
I'm sure there are women here who send terrible PM's and give awful chat. Rant about them all you want. :)[/QUOTE]

There are?...shit I never get them. Can you send me one so I don't feel left out.
 
Of course it goes both ways. Not everyone is compatible. But if you at least don't test the waters, then you will never find your pearl.

Ok...that was ghey...but it's true :)
 
What i find amusing is the couple guys who posted earlier in this thread about being annoyed and being quick to point out women can be just as bad. Its as if they think that have to retaliate for our gender.

While i dont PM with guys, not my thing, i read some of their posts and can only imagine how rude or moronic some of their PM's can be. I am not saying women are blameless, but my gender doesnt do me proud by being pathetic and sad at times :rolleyes:
 
I have to agree with Runeblade. I have met my fair share of women who only reply with short little sentences like "nod" or "hehe" and the like. You just happen to see more women make threads to complain about it because they feel entitled to make fun of people who have approached them, though i'm sure you ladies have been all proper and dainty and have never done anything wrong yourselves.

See, now i've gone off and ranted. I just get tired of seeing these threads where women make fun of (insert whatever adjective) men that have sent them PM's. There are a lot of bad women here to, just less numbers of you to show the stats.

*Nods* in agreement
 
An amusing thing to me lately is that every man who has contacted me and told me they were different than all the rest of the men on literotica.com always seem to end up being exactly the same.
The same old tired come on lines.
The same old "My wife doesn't know I am here." and they log off quickly like a little boy being caught with a playboy when she walks into the room.
The same old line about how they are well spoken and then when you get past hello they start with the net speak and "U r so hawt baby." even though they have never seen me or even know what I look like yet.
The same old lack of imagination or ability to be descriptive past "I shove my massive 15 inch cock into your tiny pussy and make you moan and scream my name." All I can think to that is, oh really? Wow, with you telling me how I feel and what I say, why do you even need me to be involved?
The really funny one lately was the guy who actually had the balls to tell me how lucky I was that all I had to do was clean house that day (on my day off) while he was doing paperwork because mans work is so much harder than anything a woman has to do around the house. And why would I not want to role play or feel frisky around him?

Anyone else have any good stories like these or actually meet someone who breaks the norm?

It's inevitable that sooner or later they all lie anyway ...

Really a shame tho, but what more do you expect from an online porn site.
 
I think there are bad on both sides of the sex divide and one should try not to generalise.

I get lots of lame PMs and to be honest if I dont like them I read them and either groan or smile and then just delete.

This is a sex site and when my naked or semi naked body is plastered all over it by my own volition I would feel churlish moaning about the attention I get. I accept the good with the bad and just ignore the bad.

There endeth the Sunday afternoon sermon of Ms R Fox *keels over into a hungover slumber*

:rose:
 
I had a little boy (definately was not a man after talking to him) tell me how hot my pictures were and how bad he wanted me. I told him I have never posted nude photos and he twists it to say that he just knew I was hot without even seeing me. Some guys lose way too much blood when they get horny.

As the good Reverend Robin Williams said: God man a penis and a brain, but not enough blood for the two to function at the same time ;)
 
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