Sleeplessness/Relaxation Issues

[Eilan]

I'm struggling with a couple of nighttime issues right now, and I'm pretty sure that they're related, but I'm at a loss as to how to deal with them.

First of all, I've been having a hell of a time shutting my mind off (if that makes sense--I can't think of a better way to say it) once I get to bed. After chasing four kids around all day, I SHOULD be tired. Physically, I am tired. However, once I get to bed, I keep thinking about things that happened that day, things that will need to be done tomorrow, and essentially any other stupid thing that pops into my head to keep me from going to sleep.

As if that weren't enough, I've also started noticing that I've been clenching my jaw/grinding my teeth. It's gotten to the point where I recently broke a tiny sliver off the back of one of my molars in the middle of the night. I'm due to visit my dentist, anyway, so I'll address the possibility of getting a bite guard with him, but that doesn't solve the problem of why I'm so damn tense at night.

Here's what I've tried so far:
1. Cutting out caffeine. I used to be a big Diet Coke drinker. I switched to a caffeine-free cola (and water); if I do have a caffeinated beverage, it's usually in the morning. This has helped somewhat.
2. OTC sleep aids. They didn't seem to work well. The recommended dose is one pill. After taking two pills, I was still wide awake. I was reluctant to take three.
3. Sex/orgasm. While it's lots of fun and it works wonders for my husband, it does nothing for me!
4. Alcohol. Just a drink or two, but no more than that. I might go to sleep fairly quickly, but then I'm wide awake at 4:00 am.
5. My husband has suggested that, as I'm lying in bed, I try to relax my body from the toes up. I have trouble concentrating on this, though.
6. Warm milk. Eh.

Once I actually get to sleep, I sleep well enough, but I know that I'm not getting as much sleep as I should. For what it's worth, I'm not generally tired during the day, though I occasionally get a little droopy around 3:00 in the afternoon. That's when my husband gets home from work and the toddlers take their nap.

What have you tried that has worked for you?

Thanks in advance for your responses.

 

[silverwhisper]

eilan:

teeth-clenching is another manifestation of stress in most cases, i believe: my wife does it whenever she's under stress and i'm told i do it too. IMX, only men get sleepy after sex. OTOH, perhaps your husband is performing under the "always leave 'em wanting more" dictum? :> [j/k!] alcohol might get you to sleep, but it's a shallow sleep for some (again, my wife has this issue). the warm milk thing might or might not work, but it's such a PITA (pain in the ass) that the effort might make you more awake than the warm milk relaxes you.

is there an unusual amount of stress, either increasing or decreasing? that's what i would try to figure out if i were in your situation. is there anxiety or anything unresolved?

now, i've tried the muscle tension/relaxtion thing. that works pretty well sometimes, but i find that for it to have the maximum effect, i need to be somewhat tired, or at least not wired. have you considered maybe doing some light calisthenics before going to bed? if you aren't following an exercise regimen, that might work. of course, for some, i believe it just wakes 'em up.

OTC sleep aids can be hit or miss, IMX.

try reading something dull, like a textbook or a manual. i avoid using fiction, b/c i find that the fiction that i like tends to engage me and i'll spend half the night reading. :>

it really sounds to me like you need to keep your brain occupied so that your mind doesn't race. if that doesn't help, consider finding a book on autohypnosis.

ed

 

[phoenix1224]

Meditation may help relax your body and mind enough to get a good night's sleep... It may also help you with whatever underlying stress is causing the teeth-grinding problem.

 

[Ezzy]

One of the things I do every night is to review the day.

If I don't then I will stress about it until I get to do it. It is as if I have a video of the whole day in my head, it runs through as if on FF till I get to a point that did not go as well as it could have. I then slow it to PLAY and take a look at the area I feel could have been better and determine to do better the next time that crops up. Then back to FF speeding through the ok bits to get to the next blemish.

I read a psychologists book years ago that said this technique is useful as it distresses some people, and I re-read it on the web in the last 3 or 4 months.

The other question I have is, there any reason you can’t take a nap when the kids do?

I take a 45 minute nap 4 days a week, just at the same time my twins do and we all wake up in a better humor than we had been in before.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

wow... this sounds like me about a year or two ago, minus the kids thing of course.

As far as the teeth grinding/jaw clenching goes - I still havent found anything that really helps with stopping that, however I did talk to my dentist and he fitted me for a thing that at least helps with reducing the sore feeling in my jaw during the day time (you sleep with it in). That thing has seriously saved my jaw on numerous occasions and actually made it possible for me to eat during really stressful weeks.

As far as the sleepless nights, have you tried exercising more and changing your diet for some more healthier foods? I made some changes in that respect and that has helped immensely.

Another thing to consider so the mind doesnt race so much is to start a journal. It doesnt have to be something where you poor your heart and soul into it, unless you want to, but just something for you to put your general thoughts. With mine, I tend to notice that when I do sit down to actually write in it, my thoughts go all over the place and back and I've written a good 5 or 6 pages before I've even realized it. It worked wonders for me and helps a lot even when I want to share something with someone, but no one is around for me to share with.

If I think of anything else that might help you, I'll add it later, but I'm drawing a blank now.

 

[Eilan]

is there an unusual amount of stress, either increasing or decreasing? that's what i would try to figure out if i were in your situation. is there anxiety or anything unresolved?

That's what I'm trying to figure out. Our house is currently on the market, but we haven't had much luck with that so far. Though we need the extra space, I don't look forward to moving.

Things can be hectic with small children in the house, but I think that I manage that well enough. I don't have any financial worries, the kids are healthy and happy, my husband and I have a great relationship. . .

The other question I have is, there any reason you can’t take a nap when the kids do?

Sometimes I do if I feel that I just can't keep my eyes open, but usually only when my husband's home so he can watch the older children, since they think naps are for babies--or toddlers.

Meditation may help relax your body and mind enough to get a good night's sleep.

This is something that I've been considering, but I'm not really sure how to go about it. I think that I can talk to an acquaintance about it, though.

I also have a yoga DVD that I got for Christmas. I might try that, too.

As far as the sleepless nights, have you tried exercising more and changing your diet for some more healthier foods?

I don't know why I didn't consider this, because it's something that I need to get back into. I do cardio, but not as much as I should. My ex-husband got me into weightlifting about 10 years ago, and I did really well with it until I had two kids in just under 13 months (for a grand total of 4 kids in *gasp* 5 1/2 years). I miss the weightlifting because I always felt like I was blowing off steam with it. My eating habits vary. Right now, due to my Andy Capp's Hot Fries cravings, they're leaving a bit to be desired.

I think that the journaling is a really good idea, too (again, one that I didn't think of). If I were to do that, should I try it earlier in the day or whenever I can't sleep? Or does it matter?

Thanks for the suggestions.

 

[SweetErika]

wow... this sounds like me about a year or two ago, minus the kids thing of course.

As far as the teeth grinding/jaw clenching goes - I still havent found anything that really helps with stopping that, however I did talk to my dentist and he fitted me for a thing that at least helps with reducing the sore feeling in my jaw during the day time (you sleep with it in). That thing has seriously saved my jaw on numerous occasions and actually made it possible for me to eat during really stressful weeks.

As far as the sleepless nights, have you tried exercising more and changing your diet for some more healthier foods? I made some changes in that respect and that has helped immensely.

Another thing to consider so the mind doesnt race so much is to start a journal. It doesnt have to be something where you poor your heart and soul into it, unless you want to, but just something for you to put your general thoughts. With mine, I tend to notice that when I do sit down to actually write in it, my thoughts go all over the place and back and I've written a good 5 or 6 pages before I've even realized it. It worked wonders for me and helps a lot even when I want to share something with someone, but no one is around for me to share with.

If I think of anything else that might help you, I'll add it later, but I'm drawing a blank now.

All excellent advice. Writing in a journal or even just writing down the thoughts that won't stop running through my head/are bothering me has helped a lot too.

Sex or orgasms tend to give me a second wind. But masturbating to a detailed fantasy and then continuing the fantasy after I've cum works wonders usually. I think it's the combination of chemicals and keeping my mind off the stressful stuff, though slipping into a more relaxing, tame fantasy can work too.

I'm not sure how well this would work for you, but sometimes my husband will talk about subjects I don't understand well/am not really interested in or read aloud to put me to sleep. It seemed downright ridiculous until I connected it to falling asleep to my mom reading as a child.

A lot of times I won't try to go to sleep if I'm not tired. I'll do something else, and try every hour or so until I fall asleep (usually works the first or second time). If I just lay in bed or stay up past a certain point, it's almost impossible to fall asleep.

If all else fails, I'd talk to your doctor, Eilan. I'm not a big fan of drugs, but have found myself to go through cycles of stress/anxiety, and sometimes a prescription sleep aid for a night or week (in extreme cases) can help snap me out of it and remind me how to relax enough without taking anything. For me, it's a last resort, but it's a hell of a lot better than the cumulative effects of sleep deprivation.

 

[Eilan]

If all else fails, I'd talk to your doctor, Eilan. I'm not a big fan of drugs, but have found myself to go through cycles of stress/anxiety, and sometimes a prescription sleep aid for a night or week (in extreme cases) can help snap me out of it and remind me how to relax enough without taking anything. For me, it's a last resort, but it's a hell of a lot better than the cumulative effects of sleep deprivation.

I hope that I don't have to resort to this, but it's in the back of my mind as an option. When I had problems falling asleep (minus the relaxation issues) during my last pregnancy, my doctor recommended that I take some Benadryl before bedtime; he said if that didn't work that he could prescribe me something. I tend to want to err on the side of undermedication, but I'm not averse to using a prescription for a few days if I really need it.

 

[EJFan]

geez, eilan, you really have a problem there... i'm so sorry

i know exactly what you mean about not being able to shut your mind off at night. i get in that zone from time to time but it has gone away after a night or two. if you're anything like me, the more you try to solve your sleep problem, the harder it is to get actual sleep.

here are a couple of things that popped into my mind:

1. as most others said, it's definitely stress (at least in part) and nothing that's stress related is easy to deal with. one thing that's likely though is that if the lack of sleep is stress related you can probably not worry about the caffeine, sleep aides and whatnot... changing your body chemistry won't help a stress issue very much.

2. sun is a wonderful cure for just about anything sleep related. do your best to get out in the sun for an hour or two every day. it helps keep your body clock in check.

3. definitely consider the mouth guard thing but try some chewing gum in the mean time. that worked for me... just chew on a stick or two a few times throughout the day and your jaw will be too tired to grind at night.

4. i don't know how probable it is for you, but maybe you can find a way to coordinate a day or two sans-kiddies???? maybe even sans-hubby-eilan???? just a day out of the normal routine can be enough to get out of the funk that's cluttering up your head. maybe?

good luck. if all else fails, i'll send you a recording of me singing a lullaby... maybe "enter sandman"????

 

[Willing and Unsure]

I don't know why I didn't consider this, because it's something that I need to get back into. I do cardio, but not as much as I should. My ex-husband got me into weightlifting about 10 years ago, and I did really well with it until I had two kids in just under 13 months (for a grand total of 4 kids in *gasp* 5 1/2 years). I miss the weightlifting because I always felt like I was blowing off steam with it. My eating habits vary. Right now, due to my Andy Capp's Hot Fries cravings, they're leaving a bit to be desired.

I think that the journaling is a really good idea, too (again, one that I didn't think of). If I were to do that, should I try it earlier in the day or whenever I can't sleep? Or does it matter?

Thanks for the suggestions.

there's nothing wrong with still fulfilling your cravings, but look into adding in a daily vitamin (I take Flintstone's chewables) and making some healthier choices. There's nothing wrong with some junk food in moderation, or even enough to fulfill a craving. Try incorporating more iron enriched foods and extra calcium too. Those are two things that a woman's body really need and can lose very easily causing sleep problems. The exercising will help too, no matter what it is, even if it's walking to the park and back with the kids (just a general thought so you can get them out of your hair for a wee bit).

As far as journaling, wrtie it in whenever you feel the urge to. For me, if it's at night and my mind is racing, I'll get up and write in it to clear my mind. There are times though where I have the desire to write in it during the day or during lunch. I dont think it really matters when if you feel the urge to write something, write it, even if it's on just a piece of paper somewhere and stick it in later.

If there's anything else along these lines that I can help with, feel free to ask. I'm a senior in college (been here 5 years for engineering) so I know what super stressful days and sleepless nights are like, and how to deal with it in many different ways.

 

[Eilan]

definitely consider the mouth guard thing but try some chewing gum in the mean time. that worked for me... just chew on a stick or two a few times throughout the day and your jaw will be too tired to grind at night.

I never thought of gum. That might be worth a shot. I did buy one of those OTC mouth guards that you're supposed to be able to fit yourself, but it was a pain to fit and I don't think it feels right, so I don't wear it. My husband said I could have bought a football mouthguard and paid less for all the hassle. I'm going to let the dentist fit me for it. At least he knows what he's doing. (I hope!)

I have to do something if I don't want to grind my teeth away because of stress. Yeah, I live in Appalachia, where a toothless grin might be a really hot thing for a 31-year-old to have, but dammit, I like my teeth!

i don't know how probable it is for you, but maybe you can find a way to coordinate a day or two sans-kiddies???? maybe even sans-hubby-eilan???? just a day out of the normal routine can be enough to get out of the funk that's cluttering up your head. maybe?

I do this, but not nearly as often as I'd like. Sometimes just walking around Wal-Mart is a treat! My husband is more than happy to take over for a bit while I'm gone. We do try to get out once a month, more if we can manage it, as a couple (my mom watches the kids), but after this weekend my husband's schedule will be changing so that he has to work EVERY weekend (as opposed to the ONE weekend a month he normally gets off).

Wednesday, I'm going out with a group of my friends for dinner. Then we're going to catch a play. Shakespearean comedy can be a good escape. I'm looking forward to it.

if all else fails, i'll send you a recording of me singing a lullaby... maybe "enter sandman"????

Now THERE'S a song I haven't thought of for a while!

 

[Willing and Unsure]

I never thought of gum. That might be worth a shot. I did buy one of those OTC mouth guards that you're supposed to be able to fit yourself, but it was a pain to fit and I don't think it feels right, so I don't wear it. My husband said I could have bought a football mouthguard and paid less for all the hassle. I'm going to let the dentist fit me for it. At least he knows what he's doing. (I hope!)

The gum might make that problem worse. I tried that for awhile and believe me, my jaw was hurting more than when I was just grinding the teeth. If it's stress related for why you're doing it, it most likely wont stop just from chewing gum. But, feel free to try it and see how it works for you, each person is different afterall.

 

[Halo_n_horns]

We know this one first hand!

First of all, I've been having a hell of a time shutting my mind off (if that makes sense--I can't think of a better way to say it) once I get to bed.

With my being an artist, and my wife being an executive at a money mgt. company, this has been a constant challenge with our sleep habits. Typically I'm on autopilot every day, but as soon as the sun goes down I'm wide awake. That's caused the mass majority of my works to be created during full-night sessions at my drawing table. My wife's day is stress in, stress out all day because of the stock market, and she usually brings that stress home.

We had to find a way to get some sleep as the pressures of life piled up.

Obviously diet, exercise, job stresses all contribute, but we inadvertently found a way to start falling asleep much easier each night.

It's going to sound horribly silly, but we go to bed at the same time every work night, and watch cartoons.

We had gotten to a point where we were sick and tired of all of the daily stresses of real life, plus seeing all the dramas and overly serious news reports on TV each evening. All the dramas of each day, real and fictional, seemed ever present from the time we got up in the mornings to the time we went to sleep at night. So we decided to end each evening on as lighthearted a note as possible, and ended up watching cartoons (can't get much more lighthearted than that). Typically it's Adult Swim on Cartoon Network; Futurama and The family Guy. Though I have always enjoyed good animation, I had never liked these two shows when they were originally on their respective networks. Now I've found that the writing behind these shows, and most of the shows that follow them during the week, is very clever with some hilarious characters.

From time to time, if I'm really into a pic that I'm working on, I'll take a portable drawing surface to bed and work on the pic while I'm listening to the cartoons, but we still make sure we're in bed at the same time each night, even if I'm not falling asleep right away. This is why I know about the shows after the two I previously mentioned. But as it turns out, not having anything serious or stressful going into our heads before trying to go to sleep has helped tremendously in getting some control over the "off switch" that's buried deep in the recesses of our brains. Most work nights we fall asleep within the first of the two shows (each is only half an hour long).

Since we started doing this we've gradually cut out a great deal of the TV we're watching, and when we are watching it prior to bed it's typically something that's fantasy-based or educational. There's a couple of "reality shows," like Monster Garage and Myth Busters that we enjoy, as well as a lot of the other stuff on The Discovery Channel, Nat'l Geo., and The History Channel.

We've completely knocked out crap like The Barbara Walters specials, 60 Minutes and all the other news magazine shows, and we've even knocked out watching the nightly local news, especially since anything worth being discussed is being talked about by co-workers the next day anyway. The only dramas we're partaking in now is CSI Las Vegas and Smallville. We're relying on looking out the window for our weather reports unless we're going to be traveling, and even this last week when I was taking care of my wife because of some surgery she had, we didn't pay any particular attention to the TV.

After writing all of this out, I guess the short version is; Try changing what you're putting in your head before bed. We didn't really consider how dramatically this would work out when we started doing it.

Good luck with your search for sleep. Hope something works out for you.

 

[Eilan]

There's nothing wrong with some junk food in moderation, or even enough to fulfill a craving.

Most (but unfortunately not all) of the time I make good choices about food because I'm trying to set a good example for my girls. I've noticed that when I work out more, I tend to clean up my eating habits. We have a family membership to our local YMCA, so I don't have an excuse for NOT going. I just wish our Y had child care for parents who come there to work out. Then my husband and I could go together.

If there's anything else along these lines that I can help with, feel free to ask. I'm a senior in college (been here 5 years for engineering) so I know what super stressful days and sleepless nights are like, and how to deal with it in many different ways.

Thanks.
The stress that I experienced in college/grad school (I've been out of school since 1997) tended to manifest itself through physical problems like headaches and stomachaches. I remember running to the bathroom more than once before a big exam!

 

[Willing and Unsure]

Most (but unfortunately not all) of the time I make good choices about food because I'm trying to set a good example for my girls. I've noticed that when I work out more, I tend to clean up my eating habits. We have a family membership to our local YMCA, so I don't have an excuse for NOT going. I just wish our Y had child care for parents who come there to work out. Then my husband and I could go together.

Thanks.
The stress that I experienced in college/grad school (I've been out of school since 1997) tended to manifest itself through physical problems like headaches and stomachaches. I remember running to the bathroom more than once before a big exam!

seriously look into the more iron and calcium enriched foods though (I have problems sleeping sometimes now just from my iron being low). It wont hurt anything if you get a little too much naturally, just beware of how much the kids get as they can get iron poisoning very easily.

As far as the college stress thing, the extent of mine manifesting physically is the teeth grinding and my tongue swells. On occasion I get the fun of vomiting, but that's very rare for me now. The general stuff you've described is happening to you is what I deal with almost daily, and have been for a few years now. It took a lot of questions to the right people to find ways to help, so I almost feel like an expert now.

 

[Eilan]

It's going to sound horribly silly, but we go to bed at the same time every work night, and watch cartoons.

Sounds easy enough. We tend to have Comedy Central on after the kiddies go to bed, anyway.

We have a TV in our bedroom, and while I wasn't sure that getting it was such a good idea, we haven't really used it all that much.

 

[Halo_n_horns]

Sounds easy enough. We tend to have Comedy Central on after the kiddies go to bed, anyway.

We have a TV in our bedroom, and while I wasn't sure that getting it was such a good idea, we haven't really used it all that much.

Mind you, it wasn't an immediate fix, but in thinking back, I figure it was only two or three weeks (at the very most) before my body adjusted to the schedule and the input. It was even less time for my wife to adjust.

Anyway, I hope it works out for you. Not sleeping can screw a person up pretty good.

 

[Leeleigh]

Working on a journal will help, or get one of those voice activated recorders where you can talk into it as the need arises.

Have you tried taking a relaxing bath before going to bed? Not hot but a warm one. You can buy the baby soap that has I believe Lavendar in it to help soothe. You might look into getting some lavendar bath beads/oils.

Lastly... what makes EVERYONE fall alseep at Thanksgiving......... turkey. Get a small turkey breast and slice it up, then have a turkey sandwich a short time before bedtime and see the tryptophan in the turkey puts you to sleep.

Sounds silly.... but what have you got to lose?

 

[Eilan]

Have you tried taking a relaxing bath before going to bed? Not hot but a warm one. You can buy the baby soap that has I believe Lavendar in it to help soothe. You might look into getting some lavendar bath beads/oils.

This is something that I do pretty regularly--just got out of the tub actually. We have one of those big ol' jacuzzi-style tubs in our bathroom. It's big enough for two, so it's a great way for my husband and me to unwind some evenings.

Lastly... what makes EVERYONE fall alseep at Thanksgiving......... turkey. Get a small turkey breast and slice it up, then have a turkey sandwich a short time before bedtime and see the tryptophan in the turkey puts you to sleep.

Mmmm. . .Thanksgiving dinner. Think I could call up my grandma and get some mashed potatoes and oyster dressing with that? The food tastes MUCH better when she cooks it!



Thanks to all of you for the ideas/input you've given me. I'm not expecting miracles overnight, but I am going to put some of your suggestions to good use. I'll keep you posted.

 

[Fleatopia]

I read a great article about insomnia the other day and the one thing that it mentioned that I didn't see here (and that I never really considered) is...

When you've been lying in bed for over half an hour with no drowsiness or dropping off, get up! Go do something else, anything else, for ten minutes. I think this idea is linked to the wholly crazy concept that you shouldn't do anything in bed but sleep. However, I tried it the other day when I couldn't sleep and it seemed to work after the third time I got up. I didn't even really do anything that required effort. I did a little stretching the first time, which felt nice. I did some personal grooming the second time, and the third I wiped down the counters in the kitchen.

 

[Eilan]

I read a great article about insomnia the other day and the one thing that it mentioned that I didn't see here (and that I never really considered) is...

When you've been lying in bed for over half an hour with no drowsiness or dropping off, get up! Go do something else, anything else, for ten minutes. I think this idea is linked to the wholly crazy concept that you shouldn't do anything in bed but sleep. However, I tried it the other day when I couldn't sleep and it seemed to work after the third time I got up. I didn't even really do anything that required effort. I did a little stretching the first time, which felt nice. I did some personal grooming the second time, and the third I wiped down the counters in the kitchen.

I've done this on occasion because I worry that my tossing and turning is keeping my husband awake, though he seems to be doing well enough. Usually when I do this I go to our other computer and play solitaire. It's mindless enough to keep me from thinking too much. I haven't gotten quite motivated enough to do housework--yet!

 

[Fleatopia]

I've done this on occasion because I worry that my tossing and turning is keeping my husband awake, though he seems to be doing well enough. Usually when I do this I go to our other computer and play solitaire. It's mindless enough to keep me from thinking too much. I haven't gotten quite motivated enough to do housework--yet!

I think, for me at least, that it's like ticking things off of that list in your head of "Shit I Shoulda Done Today." If you can tick off a few of those in ten minute increments, you feel more accomplished and less stressed.

 

[Quoll]

Hmm two of my old friends there, teeth grinding and replaying and yeh it probably is stress.
A few of the things that have worked for me are......

Night shift.........May not be practical for you, but at the moment I can nod off in about 40 seconds.

Fantasy....As Erika said. I used to constantly replay everything so I started to redirect my thoughts into some very nice stories, funny thing was, as I got more into it and really started enjoying myself that`s when I would drift off. One side effect, because you are just thinking and not doing you do tend to get a tad horny. Not all side effects are bad.

Give up......Get up and read or watch late night *yawn* tv, often as soon as you have got yourself settled in with a drink or something the body tends to reset itself and you start to get sleepy.

Shutdown routine...........Try and start a pattern, bodies and minds love patterns, finish off all your jobs then do your journal or sit down with a drink and go over the day in your mind or meditate, cogitate, vacillate or just plain vegetate, but not in the bedroom, that`s just for sleeping .Eventually (hopefully) your mind gets the idea.

Back rubs........If hubby has not already gone to sleep, perhaps he could do some nice soft back or wherever you prefer, rubbing . For me, my beloved strokes my forehead and I can feel my eyes start to roll back almost immediately. A nice release of endorphins there I think.

Change your pattern......If your husband goes to bed before you, go with him and snuggle, sometimes going to bed earlier actually helps and again nice endorphins and it is very hard to stress wrapped up in the arms of someone you love.

I hope somewhere in all of this, there is something of value.
I know it seems rather wordy for such a simple question, however this is my last suggestion, print this bloody post out and read it before bed, many ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzto follow.

 

[Amonara]

Fantasy....As Erika said. I used to constantly replay everything so I started to redirect my thoughts into some very nice stories, funny thing was, as I got more into it and really started enjoying myself that`s when I would drift off. One side effect, because you are just thinking and not doing you do tend to get a tad horny. Not all side effects are bad.

I have the same problem many nights as well. Instead of letting myself stress over what happened during the day and letting my mind worry issues to death, I pretty much do what Quoll suggested.

Since my mind is always active, I create senarios in my mind. It may be an alternate ending to something that happened earlier that day, or a sexual fantasy. I make up stories and the longer I lie there my stories start turning more dream like and eventually I'm in dreamland. I have a really active imagination so this might not work for you, but every little bit helps I suppose.

Good luck.

 

[RedIntense]

I'va had a similar problem on and off for years. I don't relax well anytime, I have trouble sleeping, and I clench my jaw. I went through all the same options as you, even trying prescription sleeping pills. But the most effective thing I found for both the stress and trouble sleeping was exercise. Take a long walk alone after dinner. Or even better, a jog. If that's not your thing, try a yoga tape. I know kids wear you down all day and you feel like you are getting a workout, but its still different. 20 to 30 minutes of cardio will do wonders!