Sleeping with your bestfriend?

[iwantyoufuckme]

So, recently..
My best friend and his girlfriend broke up..
We've been best non-sexual friends for almost 10 years.
Never have I viewed him sexually, nor has he viewed me sexually.
But...This past week I went over to hang out and such,
which is a normal thing we do...
We ended up having the most mind blowing, passionate sex..
and now... Our friendship is all twisted..
I realize I don't think I could ever be his girlfriend due to all his antics and bullshit, but whenever I think of sex I think of him, and how much I want to fuck him again..

any advice..

 

[strapon_tales]

You could be with friends with benefits until one or the other finds a new, long-term relationship.

 

[iwantyoufuckme]

he is back with his girlfriend, they got back together literally 2 days later after we fucked for a week.

 

[strapon_tales]

In that case ... you'll need to move on, find someone new.

 

[iwantyoufuckme]

we are sexting. but i refuse to do anything while he has this gf,
i feel as though it may have ruined the friendship

 

[strapon_tales]

If a friendship is strong enough, it should survive anything. But it can't be good to keep focusing on sex if he's with someone.

 

[Boundlife]

we are sexting. but i refuse to do anything while he has this gf,
i feel as though it may have ruined the friendship

You wouldn't sext with an ex who you were trying to get over...
maybe a break in the friendship to let things cool?

 

[qrayze]

Massive hugs, this can't be easy for you.

The main thing that stuck out in my mind was how unfriendly he was towards you. I didn't like how he got together with his ex two days after having sex with you for a week. Even if the two of you had no commitment to eachother, you were still best friends for 10+ years.

You deserve better than that.

Did he talk to you at all before he got back together? Or was it like, "hey, my ex and I just got back together, so don't come over tonight."

 

[subwannabe]

It worked out for the best since you didn't want to be his girlfriend anyway. Keep the memories and move on.

 

[chipcarver]

It worked out for the best since you didn't want to be his girlfriend anyway. Keep the memories and move on.

I would have to agree with subwannabe...

Eventually if you two keep the relationship sexually alive, in bed or sexting, the GF will find out about it and you will be the cause of the break up and your friendship will definitely be over. Move on for awhile and then slowly come back into his life as a friend ONLY

Here is a hug and Good Luck

 

[nakdsub]

Boy, this is a tough one

Mainly because, if you were friends for 10 years, he's probably not a bad guy. I don't think anyone is qualified to give you advice except to say you two need to talk.

Get everything out in the open. Invite him to lunch or dinner in a place where you won't be disturbed and make sure both of you have the time for a full discussion.

 

[stockman35]

It's a lost cause. But you won't realize it for a long time. He's NOT for you! Please get on with your life and find someone who deserves you.

 

[RAddams]

Your situation is currently truly unfortunate. It may very well be that you two are soul mates or some shit and that's why you were best friends for ten years. The problem is that you had sex with each other before he had time to get over his girlfriend. Now there is probably no way your friendship could be the same again.

It does sound to me that you want more from him than just a friendship or great sex. This is also probably why the sex was so spectacular for you.

If I am right about how you truly feel about him, than you should sit him down and tell him how you feel. After that you need to stop the sexting and give him time to consider what he wants. Unfortunately the outcome may not be what you want, but I suspect that he also feels more for you than just friendship and it may simply take longer for him to realize it. After all us men are generally more stubborn than you women are but our hearts usually lead us where we want to go eventually.

I do commend you for ending the real world sex while he is with his girl friend. This also shows how much you care about him and whats best for both of you.

 

[klippert]

we are sexting. but i refuse to do anything while he has this gf,
i feel as though it may have ruined the friendship

That is a true possibility. He might think he has the total package.
1. the emotional relationship
2. the bonus....the NSA sex relatonship

 

[curlygurl1970]

*******

 

[firenzi]

I hate to say it, but if you've been friends for years, I can't help but think he would have initiated something more if he really wanted a sexual and/or romantic relationship with you. He truly might love you as a friend, and therefore sough comfort with you while he was on the rebound.

That's not to say you two might not have a relationship in your future, and depending on his personality your friendship might not be over.

My best advice is to back off and give him plenty of space. Cut all sexual talk completely. Don't initiate contact- don't text or call him. Instead let him contact you, and don't always respond right away. Don't ask him out and if he asks you out, I would decline. Move away from him and let him come to you, whether for friendship or, when he's single, for more.

That being said, if you cool your actions you can still be warm and friendly with him when you do talk. I'd just avoid any talk of sex or relationships like the plague. Keep it light and upbeat, and SHORT- don't get dragged into any long conversations.

Over time, if it feels like you can resume your former friendship with the appropriate boundaries, then that's great.

If he decides that he wants more of you- your time, your emotional support, sex- then it's up to him to take the steps necessary to make it happen.

The other thing is, it may end up being too difficult for either or both of you, and it's possible your friendship might end up dissolving. It's painful, I know, I've been there.

Whatever happens, put as much focus as you can on yourself and do things that don't involve him that make you feel good. It's a vulnerable situation, you need to look after yourself first

 

[HoHoBomb]

rebound