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- Thread starter shysub
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Hi shysub! Isn't it great to actually considering making the committment to the next step!!!!!! One rule you must make for yourself (and stick to it) is that you will not make a relationship 24/7 until you have played with the same top for at least a year. I have known subs who got carried away with the moment and have regretted. A couple have had a hard time getting away and have been traumatized. This is not to scare you, but to reinforce the common sense that most people have and to point out that you need to set parameters and goals and stick to them. Also, to point out that you are in control of where you go and who you choose to give that control to. Choose with your head and not your emotions Enough with the doom and gloom, do you have butterflies in your tummy and does your body tingle all over now that you have made "the" decision? Just think - you are preparing to actually have someone bend you to their will in person (as opposed to phone or cyber). To not know what he/she will expect from you. Will he/she be too demanding? too quick to punish? will you be given any consideration at all? I'm sure that you will have a lot of people look at this thread and I'm equally as sure that most of the dominate people reading your post will want to know approximately where you are located. Maybe a post with your town/city, or one nearby would be a good idea. Good luck to you!!
SADRA
SADRA
JazzManJim
On the Downbeat
- Joined
- Sep 12, 2001
- Posts
- 27,360
Glad you've joined us!
It's great to see that you've decided to explore the lifestyle further. I've been a Dominant for about five years now, and it's perhaps one of the wisest choices I've ever made.
I'd be more than happy to help out with advice or counsel. Just drop me a line. My e-mail's on my profile.
It's great to see that you've decided to explore the lifestyle further. I've been a Dominant for about five years now, and it's perhaps one of the wisest choices I've ever made.
I'd be more than happy to help out with advice or counsel. Just drop me a line. My e-mail's on my profile.
JazzManJim
On the Downbeat
- Joined
- Sep 12, 2001
- Posts
- 27,360
It's my pleasure.
I'm glad to help. Go ahead and drop me an e-mail (jimmiebjr@onebox.com) and let's start out with what you want out of the lifestyle...where you've been and where you want to go. Tell me a bit about yourself and what you expect of a Master. Your preferences always matter, and they'll color your choices in the future.
I'm glad to help. Go ahead and drop me an e-mail (jimmiebjr@onebox.com) and let's start out with what you want out of the lifestyle...where you've been and where you want to go. Tell me a bit about yourself and what you expect of a Master. Your preferences always matter, and they'll color your choices in the future.
poeticjustice
Experienced
- Joined
- Mar 21, 2001
- Posts
- 74
whats your location slave?
JazzManJim seems to know what he is talking about. He brings up a good point - your preferences are what really matters. He truly sounds as though he could guide you in your search from a male dom perspective.
If you would like some female input you may email me at sadrasmith@hotmail.com
there isn't much info on my profile here, but if you want more info about me, or my qualifications, check out my profile at alt.com. go to search and search for sadra.
JMJ's comment about your preferences struck home for me, because I believe that subs must be respected and treated as a rare gem. Doms are a dime a dozen, but a person who will give you body and soul, and want nothing more than the occasional kind word or pat on the head is a very precious person.
What I said about doms being a dime a dozen is very true, but even more so for wannabe doms. It's hard to know the difference, but hopefully your intuition will look after that for you, keep the radar on high alert!!!! will check back in a day or so.
If you would like some female input you may email me at sadrasmith@hotmail.com
there isn't much info on my profile here, but if you want more info about me, or my qualifications, check out my profile at alt.com. go to search and search for sadra.
JMJ's comment about your preferences struck home for me, because I believe that subs must be respected and treated as a rare gem. Doms are a dime a dozen, but a person who will give you body and soul, and want nothing more than the occasional kind word or pat on the head is a very precious person.
What I said about doms being a dime a dozen is very true, but even more so for wannabe doms. It's hard to know the difference, but hopefully your intuition will look after that for you, keep the radar on high alert!!!! will check back in a day or so.
JazzManJim
On the Downbeat
- Joined
- Sep 12, 2001
- Posts
- 27,360
Advice from two folks, not a bad idea.
I think that sadra has a really good idea in seeking advice from both the male and female, Dom and sub realms. The fact is, there area experiences that she'll have that I never will, and vice-versa. It's a good idea to hear from both sides.
And as for experience, I agree that finding a good sub is a rare and beautiful thing. Doms are far more common, but a good Dom - one who knows what he wants and understand what his responsibility is as far as caring for and nurturing a sub - is likewise rare. What you want in the relationship is truly going to determine what kind of Dom you want to find. So, we'll get started. There should be an e-mail headed to you in the next day or so!
And sadra..thanks for being here, too. You sound like you know just what you're about and that's a rare enough thing nowadays, sub, Dom, or just vanilla folk. It'll be good sharing thoughts with you also.
I think that sadra has a really good idea in seeking advice from both the male and female, Dom and sub realms. The fact is, there area experiences that she'll have that I never will, and vice-versa. It's a good idea to hear from both sides.
And as for experience, I agree that finding a good sub is a rare and beautiful thing. Doms are far more common, but a good Dom - one who knows what he wants and understand what his responsibility is as far as caring for and nurturing a sub - is likewise rare. What you want in the relationship is truly going to determine what kind of Dom you want to find. So, we'll get started. There should be an e-mail headed to you in the next day or so!
And sadra..thanks for being here, too.
You sound like you know just what you're about and that's a rare enough thing nowadays, sub, Dom, or just vanilla folk. It'll be good sharing thoughts with you also.thank you
You both have been very kind and helpful. I have already noticed a difference between a good Master and a wanna be. The wanna bees just enjoy bossing someone around. The true Master will cheerish a slave. A slave should want to serve out of desire, not fear.
I look forward to more input and hope You enjoyed Your e-mail as well, Sir.
You both have been very kind and helpful. I have already noticed a difference between a good Master and a wanna be. The wanna bees just enjoy bossing someone around. The true Master will cheerish a slave. A slave should want to serve out of desire, not fear.
I look forward to more input and hope You enjoyed Your e-mail as well, Sir.
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