Slave nation story

[BiSmiley]

Just managed to finish the first section of a story that's been giving me trouble for quite some time.

The short explanation is basically about a nation ruled by the fairer sex (women obviously) and their male population(born into slavery).
The main character is a military grade slave, trained to serve in any and all capacities.

Anyway I'd like to get a few good critiques so I know what to work on in the next chapter, and if there are any questions(if you decide to read it ofcourse) i'd be happy to answer or discuss them it helps me think and improve so don't be shy

Click Here To Read

The Story is a sex&violence kinda thing romance comes later if everything goes to plan.

thankyou for reading thus far and I hope you enjoy my work

 

[BiSmiley]

Recently got to finish the second chapter done I'd like to hear your thoughts on it.

Not sure where to go from there though a bit of a writers block

ClickHereToRead

PS: I have a question is it better to be more detailed in the sex scene's or leave enough room for the readers imagination to fill in the blanks.

 

[BCarlo]

That is an interesting story, and I'm looking forward to seeing where you go with it. personally I'm hoping that he breaks his training at least a little bit. (but that's just me)

As to your question, I don't think there is a better way, dome authors write more detailed sex scenes and some write less detail into their sex scenes, I have read, and liked, both.

 

[BiSmiley]

That is an interesting story, and I'm looking forward to seeing where you go with it. personally I'm hoping that he breaks his training at least a little bit. (but that's just me)

As to your question, I don't think there is a better way, dome authors write more detailed sex scenes and some write less detail into their sex scenes, I have read, and liked, both.

Thanks, I appreciate the feedback, and you do have a point wouldn't be fun if he behaved ALL the time, might be good if he breaks a rule or two. How I go about it and if he gets away with it I'll have to think on that.

 

[BCarlo]

Thanks, I appreciate the feedback, and you do have a point wouldn't be fun if he behaved ALL the time, might be good if he breaks a rule or two. How I go about it and if he gets away with it I'll have to think on that.

exactly what I was thinking. if he never broke the rules you would have an entertaining (because of the protagonists voice, and character) but boring story (because nothing would ever happen) personally I think he should get away with it, but that's just what I want to happen.

it reminds me of a one sided, and slightly twisted version of "1984".

 

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