Slave loving her master idea

[DarkPulse]

I'm working on an idea for a new series here, and was hoping to get some opinions and suggestions. It's first person, from the perspective of a medieval era, fantasy world, ensalved girl (of adult age of couse) who has been serving her master since a young age. He isn't abusive, doesn't touch her, he only keeps her on a short leash. He is also a General leadig an army at war, so most of the atory takes place in the war camp. She doesn't mind her status, or her short leash, or anything about her spot in life as her master treats her right. What she doesn't like is how he doesn't touch her. She has become infatuated with him, obsessed. But no matter how she advances of him, he will not acknowledge her. The story is about how she works to seduce her master, make him love her, and all the challenges, problems, and adventures she faces in the path of seducing her master.

I'm writing this myself, I'm just looking for opinions and possible suggestions.

 

[Sean Renaud]

I'll be perfectly honest. This doesn't sound like much of an erotic story to me. If he hasn't touched her there has to be a reason why he hasn't and nothing you've hinted at so far suggests that he finds her attractive and is holding off for some reason. I think you have a lot of "whys" that need to be answered and rather quickly.

 

[DarkPulse]

There will be erotic scenes, as the master entertains women regularily and the girl likes to watch and imagine herself in their place. But it is primarily focused on the plot and sexual tension.

 

[Sean Renaud]

Good luck. On the good side this sounds like a really long story which means that while not a lot of people will read it, all the people who read it will likely give it a high score because they sat through the entire thing.

 

[HeyAll]

Maybe she gets advice from a prostitute or someone, on how to be better at sex.

Maybe she also gets new wardrobe from the people who design clothes for the general. She doesn't have money to pay for it, but says it's for a good cause, so they make it for free.

Maybe one day he's looking at his plans while he's alone with her in the room, and she suddenly sits on the table (on top of the war planes, treaty, important letter, ect...) and she's wearing a sexy dress. She spreads her legs to reveal her cunt.

Or maybe, the general is distressed at some bad news he's reading on a letter, and he's angry. She crawls to him, gets between his legs, takes his cock out, and begins to suck to make him feel better. If you want to make this scene even nastier, maybe the general's advisers are still in the room and he gets turned on by the exhibitionism.

 

[DarkPulse]

Keep in mind it is a medieval era. Maybe it won't be a series, just a one shot deal.

 

[LallyH]

I'm working on an idea for a new series here, and was hoping to get some opinions and suggestions. It's first person, from the perspective of a medieval era, fantasy world, ensalved girl (of adult age of couse) who has been serving her master since a young age. He isn't abusive, doesn't touch her, he only keeps her on a short leash. He is also a General leadig an army at war, so most of the atory takes place in the war camp. She doesn't mind her status, or her short leash, or anything about her spot in life as her master treats her right. What she doesn't like is how he doesn't touch her. She has become infatuated with him, obsessed. But no matter how she advances of him, he will not acknowledge her. The story is about how she works to seduce her master, make him love her, and all the challenges, problems, and adventures she faces in the path of seducing her master.

I'm writing this myself, I'm just looking for opinions and possible suggestions.

I've got no experience of story writing so my opinion may be pretty useless to you. But this plot is the exact fantasy I had as a very young girl. The reason that the guy doesn't touch her is because she's been with him from being a child and he is so used to her that he doesn't recognise her sexual maturity. In my fantasy I got his attention by being a brat. You should be able to guess the rest.

 

[Sean Renaud]

The problem with that is she's traveling with an army. I can halfway buy that the general doesn't see her sexually because she's been around forever. It's a little harder to buy that the army doesn't notice and that he doesn't notice her via them even if it's just because he keeps having to threaten (or actually) to kill them if they don't get back in line. Besides if he's sees her as a little sister her acting slutty or bratty is unlikely to change that.

This could make for an interesting B story though.

 

[DarkPulse]

Oh, the fact that she lives around the army plays into it, trust me. I dip into the fantasy realm, but I do not stretch truths or omit factors that would play in to my tale. I have it all planned out, I'm just looking at how people would feel about such a story.