Slave contracts

[Georgia Girl]

Dom/me's


What things do you feel should be specifically spelled out in a slave contract?


submissives


What items would you want included in your slave contract?

 

[ownedsubgal]

don't have one, my Master and i never really saw the point in having a contract between us. i'm a slave...i belong to him, i am completely under his control, no rights, no limits, period...what more is there to be said?

 

[Georgia Girl]

I am a parent and have a professional career.


My career demands my time, that is understood and respected. My child is my priority, that is understood and respected.


Maybe I'm not explaining myself well.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Dom/me's


What things do you feel should be specifically spelled out in a slave contract?


submissives


What items would you want included in your slave contract?

I think this is very clear, brief and concise. My kind of post!

Sorry, I can't address it. I have no experience with D/s contracts and have no prospects for one anytime soon.

Good thread topic, though.

 

[ownedsubgal]

I am a parent and have a professional career.


My career demands my time, that is understood and respected. My child is my priority, that is understood and respected.


Maybe I'm not explaining myself well.

i think you expressed yourself just fine...for some, contracts can do a world of good and make life much easier. every slave's life does not, or can not completely revolve around their Owner. so for people in such situations, i can see the potential use and good in having a contract. just isn't our particular cup of tea.

 

[Georgia Girl]

I suppose its all in how you look at it.

Not as an attempt to micromanage the relationship but rather as a method for having clear and concise parameters set that can be referred to in a manner other than "remember that day last month when you said so and so".

It determines what your perspectives are......in writting.

 

[dcraz]

Contract Terms

I am a parent and have a professional career.


My career demands my time, that is understood and respected. My child is my priority, that is understood and respected.


Maybe I'm not explaining myself well.

GG,

If I may be so bold. It sounds like you are interested in a contract, most likely as a sub, to define those parameter of such a relationship that will still allow you to fullfill your other obligations as a proffesional and a parent.

Is this correct? Assuming it is, I think the things you need to define are those very parameters you need to protect.

As a proffesional and a parent, you may want/need to put certain boundaraies in place so as not to compromise your proffesional stature and your parental responsibilties.

Something like... I will be your total slave in all matters private. And perhaps with certain previously agreed upon groups (clubs, parties, etc.). But not necessarily in public. You will not agree to anything that might leave a lasting mark that can be seen outside of conventional attire. You will be available completely, during preagreed hours so long as you can make arrangements for your child.

Is this what you are looking for???

DC

 

[dcraz]

More thoughts...

GG,

Assuming again that you are a Sub interested in a contract with a Dom.

You should also try to identify your own personal boundaries.

Will you allow anal sex? Will you allow sex with others? What about strangers invited by your Dom? Will you have sex with other women? Would you be willing to have interracial sex?

Of course, you should discuss these things with your Dom to see what interests or fettishes they might have or expect from you.

Last and foremost, you should always have a non negotiable, clearly understood safe word or signal that will NEVER be challenged!

Good luck!

DC

 

[cremebrulee]

My two cents worth...
I think that a good Dom/me would want what is best for you, and if that means putting your children and career first, it seems pretty straight forward. I shouldn't type when I am tired, LOL, but what I am trying to say is this: I have a budding relationship wiht a young sub with children, My expectation is that CHILDREN and WORK are priority first for the well being of that particular person and the children involved. It's a misconception that Dom/mes are ALL into total control.
In My opinion,A good Dom/me will always be concerned with what is best for their slave/sub ~ be it taking care of their responsibilities or whatnot,

Hell I need to go to bed before I say the same thing again... again

~Creme

 

[catalina_francisco]

I think the first thing to define before a contract is drawn up is whether you are to be a submissive or slave, as this will make the world of difference to the contents. We initially talked of making one, but it seemed unnecessary as like osg I am completely owned so have no limits of my own. Trust is established in that he will respect my parental responsibilities, and will care for my safety on all levels, all of which he does.

That being said, if you go the way of a contract I would think first it would be necessary to define the relationship and roles of both within that relationship, and time factors if they are involved. Next comes limits, safety issues, concerns for emotional, psychological, or physical risks, expected outcomes for both in the short and long term, and most importantly, how a situation will be dealt with if either person is having issues within the relationship or scening, and if there is to be a release clause, what that will be in terms of deal breakers.

Catalina

 

[esclave_PP]

Here are some links to more info on contracts:

http://www.wizdomme.com/infopack/contract1.shtml

http://ca.geocities.com/bdsm_canada/magvol1iss1/the_d_s_contracts.htm

http://www.bdsmcircle.net/dslifestyle/contracts.htm

This should help get you started. Remember these are just guides, and you should do what works best for you.

I've had them and not had them. Currently don't have one. Really just depends on what you want.

 

[Georgia Girl]

Thank you for the information and the links.

We are both very analytical people so having things in writing seems to be a good idea. We see it as being a document that is at first quite long but in time gets shorter and shorter as items no longer pertain.

I can see items such as:

careers
children
education
means of address in different situations
expectations

Many of these things are already known.

I appreciate any ideas or input. I'm trying to wrap my mind around the idea and formulate this but it has me a bit out of my box.

 

[Netzach]

What Cremebrulee said, definitely.

I don't really do contracts, but my (sub) fiance and I have an evolving word document called "sex drugs n' rock n roll" which outlines our deviant goals, and how we think they can dovetail into our life goals, which sometimes are at odds with each other.

Make it you, both of you, whatever you do.

 

[willowthwisp]

Thank you for the information and the links.

We are both very analytical people so having things in writing seems to be a good idea. We see it as being a document that is at first quite long but in time gets shorter and shorter as items no longer pertain.

I can see items such as:

careers
children
education
means of address in different situations
expectations

Many of these things are already known.

I appreciate any ideas or input. I'm trying to wrap my mind around the idea and formulate this but it has me a bit out of my box.

In truth, I do find it comes down to some basic fundamentals, like your Master/Mistress taking the responsibility for your physical, psychological and emotional wellbeing. This can include all of your list in its own way. BDSM relationships require alot of trust and in the early days it can be a good step around areas of concerns......or perhaps doubts is a better word.

 

[esclave_PP]

Like catalina and others have reiterated, trust is the big thing, well-being another. Although personally I've never really used a contract long-term, when you are putting together the doc, there are several directions it can go:

1) An actual legal, binding agreement

2) A conglomeration of goals/wants/desires (like Netzach -- cool idea by the way)

3) A way to put down on paper what you both want, like, don't like, don't desire

Each document should be individual to the M/s, D/s relationship. In terms of your clauses,

careers
children
education
means of address in different situations
expectations

simple things like:

Master acknowledges that sub has xyz career, and that this career has these specific demands, etc etc etc.

The only thing I can forsee is that a contract might be too limiting to your journey. But if you don't think so go for it. I find that if you have too much won't do, don't like, your mind doesn't stay open to experience all the really wonderful things that you can discover. But, that is JMHO (just my humble opinion).

Good luck to you!

 

[catalina_francisco]

Like catalina and others have reiterated, trust is the big thing, well-being another. Although personally I've never really used a contract long-term, when you are putting together the doc, there are several directions it can go:

1) An actual legal, binding agreement

2) A conglomeration of goals/wants/desires (like Netzach -- cool idea by the way)

3) A way to put down on paper what you both want, like, don't like, don't desire

Each document should be individual to the M/s, D/s relationship. In terms of your clauses,

careers
children
education
means of address in different situations
expectations

simple things like:

Master acknowledges that sub has xyz career, and that this career has these specific demands, etc etc etc.

The only thing I can forsee is that a contract might be too limiting to your journey. But if you don't think so go for it. I find that if you have too much won't do, don't like, your mind doesn't stay open to experience all the really wonderful things that you can discover. But, that is JMHO (just my humble opinion).

Good luck to you!

Seems good advice except for the first part as a sub/slave contract wil not be recognised by law so is not only not legally binding, but in reality only worth the paper it is written on and the mutual trust (hopefully) of all parties involved to honour such an agreement.

Catalina

 

[Rantalith]

Dom/me's


What things do you feel should be specifically spelled out in a slave contract?


submissives


What items would you want included in your slave contract?

From a Dom's point of view. I would say that it has to spell out what each person is looking for, ie what is a hard limit (totally off limits), what is a soft limit (willing to expand), what you like/dislike, safe word/phrase, and expectations.

I have found that this elimates a lot problems when everything is explained.

 

[esclave_PP]

Right Catalina! I wasn't very clear on the legal/binding thing -- yes it will absolutely not be "legal" from normal societal law aspect. Thank you for clarifying. What I meant by that was more of a loose interpretation of "legal" doc between two people:

Thanks again!

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

If nothing out, a contract gives either party a guilt-free 'out' in case of a violation of either party's agreed-upon limits or needs. And, in some cases, it is a good way to weed out people who don't have your best interests in mind.

 

[James G 5]

A Domme friend of mine uses contracts for her male slaves
She has one who is every bit as much her slave as osg is her Daddy's or as Catalina is Francisco's
She explained that the contract existed as a way of helping her slave "flip the switch" to leave society's roles behind and give himself 100% mentally to her
Having it set down in WRITING that he is merely her PROPERTY, an owned THING, and then signing his name to it, agreeing for the last time he would be allowed to decide anything for himself (without permission or command, anyway) really set it clearly in his mind
Having it hung on the wall reminds him any time he might waver in his commitment to Her
For many people something like this can help mentally

(in addition to the limits, needs, ect mentioned for less strict relationships in other posts)

 

[Ms_Black]

To sign or not to sign...

My Dom and I are both in proffessional carreers and he is divorced with a son. It was very important to him to have something that clearly demarked the boundries of our relationship so that if his exwife ever accused him of anything he would have some kind of "proof" that it wasn't abuse. *Of course, it would not save him if "I" yelled abuse, but we knew that. And no, just to ease everyones mind, we do not play around his son. His ex is just diabolical, and he's afraid to lose his son.

Because I work for an attorney, I made my Submissives agreement as legally binding as possible (which is still not totally enforcable since what we all do is illegal in most states anyway). There are specific clauses regarding everything of importance including when he may expect my services (anytime, day-or night that would not risk me losing my job or endangering my schooling or family) what he can expect from me (any item large or small from cooking dinner to clothing and otherwise preparing myself in the way he sees fit) and what is NOT allowed. My hard limits are clearly listed...no bodily fluids or excretions, no blooding, no shocking, no tattooing or piercing..and I also SPELLED OUT that this was a NON transferable document. I cannot be given away to another Dom (or sub, for that matter). He can sever the contract at anytime. I may only break the contract after explaining my reasoning to him and attempting to solve the difficulty as best as possible. I also have included that my financial assets and all money belonging to me are mine, not my dominants. I will not give up the rights to my house for a sexual high, it's not something that excites me.

There is also a section on the relationship ending. Who gets what. All toys in our relationship are purchased for me or by me so there is no fear of cross-contamination, but other items will be returned to the purchaser. Also, both parties agree that at the termination of the agreement, all documents and proof of the arrangement will be destroyed, and both parties will strive to keep the arrangement confidential.

We signed and notarized the agreement (hehe, the notary couldn't get over a couple of suits walking in to get THAT notaraized) and each have a copy in our lock boxes.

Is it legally binding...no, it still involves something that is not recognized as legal. Is it alot safer than going without one? For us, yes.

Alot of people want a slavery/submission agreement because it makes them feel owned, the one I signed is much more of a liability waver than a slavery agreement, but it still had major meaning to me when I signed on the dotted line.

My suggestion is get as specific as you can. Download several options and combine them until you have a document that works for you.

Ms_B

 

[J_Pirate]

My 2 cents worth

GG asked me to weigh in on this thread… and as I see it a contract should include one or more documents covering the following types of topics:

1. Philosophical description of the Master/slave dynamic the parties are creating.

2. The motivational aspects, or more simply stated, the value proposition each signatory expects to receive from the described dynamic

3. A statement outlining the basic tenants of their relationship. Attitude, Focus, Communication and Obedience are my 4 basic tenants; I find they cover everything important to me.

4. General and specific expectations as to interaction, behaviors, dress, or presentation within the following scenarios:
• Private interactions
• Public venues
• Familiar situations - in front of parents, siblings, children, etc.
• Within the workplace or career oriented venues

5. Rituals – event driven [her Master returns home, etc.] daily or periodic actions symbolizing the dynamic of the relationship

6. The situations where the slave has hard limits, veto power or contract termination rights. For me this is limited namely to illegal acts or activities that would probably result in permanent damage to some aspect of my property.

7. A periodic review clause scheduling a mechanism for in depth discussions that could result in contract modifications.

Jeff

 

[Princessintrng]

One slave 3 Owners

Currently I have 3 contracts, one written the other two implied. I signed a contract with the US Military to protect and defend this great country of ours; however, I have an implied contract with both my children and my Master. I am lucky that he understands my commitment to both the military and my children and we work around the issues that arise. For us a written contract is not necessary, we actually get together on Sundays to plan when we can see each other over the course of the coming week. He is understanding and not at all jealous of the time and commitments I have to work and children.

 

[ghosst_K&H]

"you dont need a silly piece of paper to tell you what to do, you have us"... My Dommes

 

[Georgia Girl]

Thank you to each of you who have given your input on this topic.

It is not a question of needing the paper to outline what I can/can't do, I know those things. Jeff and I have been together almost a year now so much is merely second nature.

The contract is a visual affirmation of exactly what it is I am handing over to and agreeing to. This is something that carries more weight than any marriage proposal ever could.