Sizzling Shower

[naughtynae]

Soapy smooth hands.
Soft, silky skin.
Bodies fit,
Like an old leather glove.

I shampoo your hair.
Mesmerized as crimson curls
Dissolve into smooth sheets caressing
The wonders of your back.

Take in the scent as
my eyes fix on the lather
sliding down your body,
Weaving in and out
Over and under
covering every delectable curve.

I try to comprehend the
implications of the moment,
while details engrave in my mind.
I trace the invisible shadow
with my mouth.

Kneeling before you
I use my fingers and
start a slow and precise
movement down your
Tender body.

I gently
spread your gorging lips
with the tip of my tongue.
Reaching and roaming
for places that
make you moan.

Your sultry sounds put me
In a trance.
My body takes over.
Intuitively I know
Exactly where I should be.

With expertise you guide me
With your subtle rocking.
I follow the motion
Of your hips.
They invite me in further.

Your legs go weak and
your swollen flesh is making
my senses react.

My tongue finds pleasure
in your warmth.
You are delicious
and these feelings are contagious.

The water is hot,
And the steam adds
to your gratification.
Your movements quicken.
I let your breathing become my rhythm.

Your thighs quiver.
Your hands in my hair,
tighten and gently pull me away.
I release.
And slowly rise.

Pressing closely against you,
I sense your body desiring me again.
My breast slide over yours,
Stopping a moment
feeling your aroused nipples, your excitement.

I watch as you slide down.
Your eyes never leaving mine,
they are locked in position.
Your tongue searches for the
swollen need of my aching lips.

I feel you as
you find your way in.
Without skipping a beat

the shower sizzles once more…

 

[wildsweetone]

hi naughtynae and welcome to the poetry forum.



are you looking for a critique or to simply share your poem?

 

[naughtynae]

Thank you. I have been reading for a while but finally got the nerve to post. Thanks for reading.

Naughty Nae

* Critique is good. Feel free to share whatever you like.

 

[WickedEve]

Personally, I'd appreciate the poem more if, for starters, it was trimmed back to:

I shampoo your hair.
Mesmerized as crimson curls
Dissolve into smooth sheets caressing
The wonders of your back.

Take in the scent as
my eyes fix on the lather
sliding down your body,
Weaving in and out
Over and under
covering every delectable curve.

I try to comprehend the
implications of the moment,
while details engrave in my mind.

 

[naughtynae]

Thank you Eve. Trimmed down works, I appreciate you checking it out.

Nae

 

[WickedEve]

Thank you Eve. Trimmed down works, I appreciate you checking it out.

Nae

I tend to over-trim. And remember, many people want all the details. The complete version would be nice to give to a lover, but for a general audience--assuming they've read many poems with lots of tongue details--you may better keep their interest with a shorter version.
I like the parts about the hair and the lather on the body. It's erotic.

 

[naughtynae]

Eve I do get your point and erotic works for me.

PS. Don't freak out but I don't blame the hairdresser, lol.

Nae

 

[mansome]

lovely poem sexy one.....

your words have a seductive rhythm to them that is quite arousing.....

 

[naughtynae]

Well thank you. I am glad you enjoyed...

 

[Flirtydeb]

Personally, I like this poem the way it is. You are a terrific writer! Write some more, PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[My Erotic Tale]

aint nothin' like playing in the 'Rain Closet

I agree with Eve's suggestion to trim it for it has length but to trim it to three stanzas is like getting you hot and leaving you hanging ... or pointing which ever <grin

'a'.... shower 'poem' sizzles once more…! nice write.

 

[naughtynae]

Well thank you! I am glad you both enjoyed. I like shower ahem... poems as well.