Single woman open to a d/s relationship in r/l in Yorkshire

[LaceyPeach24]

Where are all the single Doms hiding? Only ever met attached ones at munches/ online. Envious of these great d/s relationships I see. I want a fun relationship with lots of D/S sex involved.. where are people meeting these days?

 

[MrPimms]

Welcome to the wonderful world of Lit!

Where do people meet? If you’re not having luck with the munches and Fet, here is a decent place to strike up conversations. As for being in Yorkshire, there’s a fair few people here from the U.K., the threads are awash with U.K. related humour and a fair amount of innuendo, smut, and biscuits. I’m not quite sure how the biscuits fit into the larger picture.

Talk with people, find a common ground, explore your kinks, fetishes.

Happy searching!

 

[Thomas_Hardy]

Where? Good point .. Lit, and curiously as I have found, the gym it has this bizarrely embracing atmosphere of dressing up for display and power, get me if you dare / here to rule kind of vibes. In particular at the juice bar where all the singles hang out, cooling down but still sweaty a bit. A great leveller for relaxed convo.

Back to that other bar!
xx
T

 

[LaceyPeach24]

Here and the gym.. new avenues indeed! Thanks and so I shall!

 

[Lost_Writer01]

Where are all the single Doms hiding? Only ever met attached ones at munches/ online. Envious of these great d/s relationships I see. I want a fun relationship with lots of D/S sex involved.. where are people meeting these days?

This may be a good place to meet people but I suggest telling us a little more about you. Interests, experience, what you’re looking for, age & age-range etc. so that you can strike up conversations with the right people

 

[Library_Geek]

Hi Lacey, If you haven't done it already I suggest Fetlife. It has its issues but it is a good place to meet other kinksters. There is a fairly vibrant community with notices of munches and events. There is a board game munch in Leeds and might be munches for younger people. I think these things are never easy, and of course you have to remember that meeting someone at a munch/event is no guarantee of their character or trustworthiness, but it might put you in the right environment to meet other kinksters.

 

[MiaBabe23]

Hi Lacey,
I would strongly encourage that you enjoy interacting and exploring with guys on the platform here, or wherever, before you decide to seek a rl d/s relationship, (I’ve also heard some very bad things about Fetlife, so be cautious with that one)
There are some very good dominants on here, but there are also far more fakes and unscrupulous ones, who have no concept of the nature and responsibilities of such a relationship, as well as some who are abusive
Why not take the opportunity to ask some questions, get to know people, and see whether you feel drawn to anyone? No need to rush to ask for something rl

 

[Library_Geek]

(I’ve also heard some very bad things about Fetlife, so be cautious with that one)

And I'd agree with most of them, no doubt! Fetlife is run by someone who doesn't really care about predators, there's a whole host of creeps and rightwing trolls on it and basic protections have been removed - such as being able to 'spot' problematic people (but people find ways round that).

However there are still some very good features of the site. You can see what people have said and done over the years. It's all there on their history (maybe like here). There's also a strong community of consent-focused people and women who make a point of warning other women about problematic men. Also it's the de facto place where you find out about events as well.

There's also a lot of knowledgeable people writing about safe play, boundaries and consent. And a vibrant group for Novices and Newbies.

I'd suggest the OP lurked there and maybe gradually sought out other women in her area (once she finds people who seem all right) and thart might be a way into the community. I'm suggesting it as an addition to this place. I've already seen some supposed 'doms' on here giving an attitude that's very red-flaggy...

 

[000zing]

One might suggest, perhaps uncharitably, that of the two the OP is more interested in the 'single' than the 'Dom' heading.. .

 

[LaceyPeach24]

Single and Dom are equally important to me yes, fet is a fountain of content but rare to find people on.

 

[MiaBabe23]

And I'd agree with most of them, no doubt! Fetlife is run by someone who doesn't really care about predators, there's a whole host of creeps and rightwing trolls on it and basic protections have been removed - such as being able to 'spot' problematic people (but people find ways round that).

However there are still some very good features of the site. You can see what people have said and done over the years. It's all there on their history (maybe like here). There's also a strong community of consent-focused people and women who make a point of warning other women about problematic men. Also it's the de facto place where you find out about events as well.

There's also a lot of knowledgeable people writing about safe play, boundaries and consent. And a vibrant group for Novices and Newbies.

I'd suggest the OP lurked there and maybe gradually sought out other women in her area (once she finds people who seem all right) and thart might be a way into the community. I'm suggesting it as an addition to this place. I've already seen some supposed 'doms' on here giving an attitude that's very red-flaggy...

I don’t doubt there are good, respectful people there too, I know plenty of people here use it as well
I would just be very wary of it as a starting point for someone declaring a search for an irl d/s relationship before even knowing the people, for the very reasons you mention, especially if anyone is a novice
And agreed, there are some very concerning red flag people here as well; I just get the sense there’s more opportunity for people to chat and understand the dynamic etc

 

[Library_Geek]

I don’t doubt there are good, respectful people there too, I know plenty of people here use it as well
I would just be very wary of it as a starting point for someone declaring a search for an irl d/s relationship before even knowing the people, for the very reasons you mention, especially if anyone is a novice
And agreed, there are some very concerning red flag people here as well; I just get the sense there’s more opportunity for people to chat and understand the dynamic etc

As I said, I suggested lurking there. And it's not a starting point - the OP has been on the scene a little. It's a continuation of the exploration. And also getting to know the various munches - Fetlife is where it's at with that sort of local knowledge. Frankly, though, although Fetlife is problematic. a lot of the community who reluctantly use it are way ahead of most sites (including vanilla)) in their discussions of consent. There's also some really good discussion of lots of different aspects of BDSM and a lot of discussion of safety. There's a really good Novices and Newbies group as well.

But there was a whole other issue about the *singleness* of the Dom men that's maybe something that scene knowledge gleaned through getting to know more people on the scene and getting in the 'whisper networks' will help with.

 

[SteelPoint]

Single and Dom are equally important to me

Nah, you're after the ring and the certificate. At a pinch, you could manage without the 'Dom' bit.

'Twas ever thus.

 

[LaceyPeach24]

Nah, you're after the ring and the certificate. At a pinch, you could manage without the 'Dom' bit.

'Twas ever thus.

Bless you for presuming to know what I want so well when you don't know anything about me. I'm open to a man who is single and dom, as I said. Anything else, is your own projection

 

[LaceyPeach24]

As I said, I suggested lurking there. And it's not a starting point - the OP has been on the scene a little. It's a continuation of the exploration. And also getting to know the various munches - Fetlife is where it's at with that sort of local knowledge. Frankly, though, although Fetlife is problematic. a lot of the community who reluctantly use it are way ahead of most sites (including vanilla)) in their discussions of consent. There's also some really good discussion of lots of different aspects of BDSM and a lot of discussion of safety. There's a really good Novices and Newbies group as well.

But there was a whole other issue about the *singleness* of the Dom men that's maybe something that scene knowledge gleaned through getting to know more people on the scene and getting in the 'whisper networks' will help with.

Thanks, i appreciate this with regards to networking to be safe

 

[LaceyPeach24]

I don’t doubt there are good, respectful people there too, I know plenty of people here use it as well
I would just be very wary of it as a starting point for someone declaring a search for an irl d/s relationship before even knowing the people, for the very reasons you mention, especially if anyone is a novice
And agreed, there are some very concerning red flag people here as well; I just get the sense there’s more opportunity for people to chat and understand the dynamic etc

Fet is good for information and awareness more than anything