Since When Is Giving Good Chat a Bad Thing?

[fathom7]

OK -- here's the scene:

Was on another site -- providing solid chat for what I perceived to be in most instances ladies who used it -- either for immediate use or for personal diversion.
Helps keep the erotic and imaginative juices flowing (for me). Ran into a woman not looking to chat but looking for real life -- GUD though -- actually G Impossible. Mentioned the chat skills and got an eyeful of response -- all negative.

SO -- Am I naive to believe that an ability to give via the electrons some form of recreation option of an erotic nature is a good thing? Sounded like it from this one data point. I'm not a "stroker" (as accused) looking to have some woman work her keyboard until I get my nut. I find it fun at times and a means of pollshing verbal skills while sometimes learning something more perhaps about what women do enjoy.

Appreciate the responses. And am fully humbled as to the use of the medium if not the message.

 

[CURIOUS1026]

First off, think I got the gist of what you were saying , sounded a bit "technical" to me.......LOL

Second, what does GUD stand for??

Third........I would take good chat over "cybering" any day. Open and honest discussion about sex, turn-ons, etc is much more enjoyable to me than roleplaying that someone and I are having sex.

 

[fathom7]

Ojay -- technical is as technical does -- didn't mean to confuse --

GUD = Geographically UnDesirable

Maybe the business of cyber is more in line with what was going on mabe a better description. Anyway -- if other questions come up from "techno-boy" here I'll clarify.

 

[SweetErika]

Oooh! This is like "20 Questions"

If I'm picking up what you're putting down, you were looking for someone to cyber with, and a lady told you it was not a fun activity? Or something like that? So you're asking if people feel mutual (as opposed to "stroking") is a good thing?

 

[Cathleen]

Oooh! This is like "20 Questions"

If I'm picking up what you're putting down, you were looking for someone to cyber with, and a lady told you it was not a fun activity? Or something like that? So you're asking if people feel mutual (as opposed to "stroking") is a good thing?

What she said. What the heck is your question? You're taking my brain for a ride here fathom.

 

[Quoll]

I`m reading the basic question as chat vs cyber, any way that`s what I`m going to give my opinion on.

For me I enjoy the chat immensely, I never actually came to lit for either chat or cyber, it was more the dynamics of the boards, plus the openness and sense of community I saw here.
Being incredibly happily married, cyber was never an option, which is not to say that it hasn`t happend on the odd occasion, but my situation was quickly explained, plus add to that the fact that the guilt I felt made me set boundaries very quickly, the main mistake I made was forgetting that in essence this is a porn board (even though I see it as so much more).
I have made two fabulous friends here that are now a major part of my life, even though both of them are not only geographically undesirable but also financialy as well, it has made absolutely no difference to the friendships that have developed, and undesirable does not always mean impossible, in a life long friendship many things change overtime. Our talk is the same as anybody else. Our conversations, range from sex through to.....well we don`t appear to have hit any boundaries yet.
Hmm better make a point of some sort here. Not everyone is here or wherever, for the same thing, some for cyber, some just to talk some for both, some just lurk, (now that would be an interesting number to know) the one piece of advice I have is to make your position abundantly clear from the start, then everyone knows what to expect and hopefully no one gets hurt.

 

[fathom7]

Obviously screwed up the original question == Let's try it again:

Presented on-line to a woman with whom I could not come in personal contact owing to herdistance -- the thought that I give good chat. The response was very negative and suggested that this is NOT something to brag about.

Was wondering if I missed something since it is an activity I enjoy because it tends to sharpen my mental skills for writing.

Now I see the fundamental difference between CHAT and CYBER -- the specific offering was CHAT. Soooooooo -- am I still missing something in whether women perceive this as negative.

Better?

 

[SweetErika]

Obviously screwed up the original question == Let's try it again:

Presented on-line to a woman with whom I could not come in personal contact owing to herdistance -- the thought that I give good chat. The response was very negative and suggested that this is NOT something to brag about.

Was wondering if I missed something since it is an activity I enjoy because it tends to sharpen my mental skills for writing.

Now I see the fundamental difference between CHAT and CYBER -- the specific offering was CHAT. Soooooooo -- am I still missing something in whether women perceive this as negative.

Better?

Well, the fact that she was looking for someone for a RL thing may suggest that she's kind of got that "people who talk online aren't normal" attitude...like you should be out talking to people in RL, not wasting your time hiding behind a computer bragging about your quasi-social skills?

Or, maybe how you told her you were good set her off...could it have come off as arrogance, or been misinterpreted to be selfish or an underhanded way to get cyber?

 

[SweetErika]

Oh, and to answer the question about it being a good thing (blame my flightiness on the glass of wine I'm enjoying)...

Yes, I think being good at chatting, or any kind of communication for that matter, is a good thing. I've always thought chatting is one of the more difficult ways to communicate, so being skilled at getting your intent and emotions across is something to be proud of. I'd think it's better to just demonstrate your skills rather than tell people you're good, which can (obviously) be misinterpreted.

 

[Eilan]

I tend to avoid chat rooms because of the "leg-humpers" that frequent them. The few times I've ventured into a chat room, men descended upon me like vultures on road kill.

It seems that when you mentioned that you "give good chat," the woman misinterpreted that to mean cyber. I don't think that it has anything to do with you. It's probably that her experiences haven't been all that positive, and she assumed that your offer to chat was something "other."

Just a thought. . .