*sigh* is this the worst thing to do to someone?

[Chicklet]

I can't hold my alchohol very well.

For one thing, I don't drink often. Maybe one beer or glass of wine a month, and that only for the last year. Before it was probably one or two glasses a year. For another thing, I'm tiny. I'm five feet tall, and I don't weigh very much. So I'm as lightweight as you can get, really. It doesn't take much to tip me over the edge of "buzzed" to "drunk."

I got drunk Monday night.

I was feeling really, really good about myself. And a little bit slutty, too. Got all dressed up in a skirt (this is VERY unusual for me... I mainly only own skirts because my Ex loved the easy accessibility they gave him, but since I only ever saw him twice a month, I would only end up wearing a skirt once a month.) So, cute skirt, thigh high socks, skimpy top and spiffy knee high boots. I was feeling GOOD. So when I got invited out to the bar with one of the guys I've been throwing flirts back and forth with, I accepted, and proceeded to match him in glasses of beer.

There are vague memories of him filling my glass up again and again. And I drank as much as he did, and he's over six feet tall, and not really heavy but not skinny.

So, yeah, I was goooood and drunk. He drove me home, and I invited him in. I didn't want sex, but I wanted company. We watched some movies and I babbled at him in drunk talk. In my underwear.

I don't remember exactly what we talked about, but now I have these little bits of information... like, I know he's circumsized. And I know that after he told me, I said "Mike was circumsized." Mike being my ex. In fact, I know I said a lot of things about Mike to him. Mike this Mike that Mike Mike Mike Mike.

We had an extremely cuddly night together... but that might just have been because I'm cuddly and I insisted. I don't know if he actually WANTED to cuddle, but he stayed and he let me. And in the morning he took off while I was brushing my teeth. I haven't seen him since.

Last night I was having a little text message conversation with him, asking what the embarrassing things I did were, and he confessed that I called him Mike.

I called him Mike, while he was in my bed. Multiple times. I bit him and muttered my ex boyfriends name.

Ugh.

I think that I want to crawl into a hole, and possibly curl up there to die. In the cold. Without any coffee. As that is what I deserve.

Plus this morning I got a package from Hickory Farms without any message of who it could have been sent from = \

 

[the captians wench]

See this is one reason I worry about taking my trip to the Emerald Isle. I know it's going to be expected that I drink (tho I've also expressed it's still not going to be as much as He might think I should be). And I have nothing against a good buzz every now and then, but honestly I get a sugar buzz long before I'm drunk so I don't see the since in drinking vast amounts. But anyway, I tend to be a little loose with my tongue and say what I mean rather than what I should say, so I'm worried what trouble I'll get into while intoxicated.

But back to you. I really don't think you should feel so bad. I mean it's not like you can really control what you say in that state, or what you do for that matter. I would just appologize and explane you normally don't drink that much and you're just not used to it. And if you can some how turn that into a compliment on him even better.

Then again I'm kinda in a mood today and maybe you should just ignore me. *sigh*

 

[Chicklet]

well, he still wants to see me, which i think means he's SLIGHTLY understanding at least, but it doesn't make me feel less guilty ><

 

[the captians wench]

well, he still wants to see me, which i think means he's SLIGHTLY understanding at least, but it doesn't make me feel less guilty ><

Yeah, I can understand that. but atleast he didn't take it too to heart and you can make it up to him some how.

 

[subtleone]

well, he still wants to see me, which i think means he's SLIGHTLY understanding at least, but it doesn't make me feel less guilty ><

If you have explained to him that it was the drink and that you are really embarrassed I think you'll be fine. He still seems interested so I'd just apologise until he tells you to shut up and like wench says offer to make it up to him

 

[Zinfandel]

Chicklet, I am always exceedingly embarrassed about things I do and say when drunk, even when they are not all that bad... so I know how you are feeling today, and it totally sucks *hugs* That awful feeling will eat you up for a few days, but it will fade. Don't beat yourself up too much. We all make mistakes sometimes - it's not the end of the world, nor, clearly, is it the end of a potential relationship with him. If you and he end up spending more time together, you will one day have a really good laugh about this

 

[catalina_francisco]

Don't sweat it too much...if he is worth being a friend, and is half decent, he will be understanding and respect your right to be a fallen angel for now.

Catalina

 

[Netzach]

He sounds cool - I think this may be something you will find comedy in if you keep hanging out together - though right now it's totally not funny. Take his cues, lose the guilt, it's a very human kind of thing to do!

 

[cati]

Want my opinion? You needed to get drunk kiddo. Maybe this gent was a God send, in that you now have someone who, for the time being...maybe longer... will allow you to get past "Mike" (hoping that Mike was your ex-Master) not sure if he was your ex-hubby maybe?
Is it the worst thing to do to somebody? Nope of course not.
Sexy stories abound about this sort of thing happening...smiles. Sure feel a little guilty, embarrassed, then have a good chuckle about the whole thing. Perhaps in the back of your mind you wanted something like this to happen (dunno).
Feel free to blame the alcohol and your emotional state in recent weeks. Shoot even I forgive you Chicklet *s. Smacks her ass for being naughty !
Now if I may be so bold as to ask, was this guy a little loaded too? If not, shame on him for allowing to to see his circumsized penis and taking advantage of your inebriated state to do more than what was initially intended.
I would love to have been a fly on the wall *winkin'

 

[Chicklet]

Now if I may be so bold as to ask, was this guy a little loaded too? If not, shame on him for allowing to to see his circumsized penis and taking advantage of your inebriated state to do more than what was initially intended.
I would love to have been a fly on the wall *winkin'

i don't think he was very drunk.

and we didn't have sex, i think i put my hands in his pants to find out about the clipped state of his special friend.

mike was my ex... dunno if he was my boyfriend. i considered him my boyfriend but he never considered me his girlfriend. he was my Dom, though...

 

[leeroy jenkins]

Chicklet I'm like you in that when I drank that it would take a beer or two and I would get the buzz I wanted. The fact that when you went overboard and now have uncomfortable situtation means that you most likely won't be repeating it any time soon.

If your talking then it seems that he knows that you weren't your usual self and he will let it go at that. Hopefully in a year or two you will be able to laugh about this.

 

[Aeroil]

This is why I don't drink.

Oh, and it is widely acknowledged that showing people pictures of goatse is the worst thing to do to someone, actually.

 

[Chicklet]

This is why I don't drink.

Oh, and it is widely acknowledged that showing people pictures of goatse is the worst thing to do to someone, actually.

ok, at least i didn't do that.

 

[neonflux]

Hi Chicklet, I don't think its bad, it's just human. Sounds like you're still sad about your ex. I've certainly done my share of silly things when I was drunk and feeling sad to boot. Also sounds like this guy is really sweet and definitely understands. I agree with Netzach, that it will probably end up being something you and this friend of yours end up laughing about later.

Be gentle with yourself, sweet.

Neon

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

I am going to be little miss unpopular on this one . I don't think people get waived of responsibility because they have been drinking. Saving grace Chicklet it was mutual in as much as you shared the time prior to the things that are bothering you now. You did describe a range of behaviour that you obviously would not think appropriate in sobriety.

I have seen too many serious infringements of conduct over time brushed aside because alcohol was involved. This may well speak more for my life experiences that I find it difficult to take the topic casually.

I sincerely do hope it is all well between you and your friend Chicklet . I also wish you no excess grief for your part and hope you will find a way if you so choose , to make amends IF that is appropriate.

Would like to return here and read things are okay for you both in the future.

~ Rebecca

 

[cati]

Quite honestly, nearly every stupid, humiliating sexcapade I've had in "the old days" was under the influence. For the most part I've felt deeply ashamed of myself afterwards...shrugs.
Drinking too much beer or any other alcohol at my age just gives me a headache and the runs. Sooo definitely not worth the time spent on bathroom toilet.

All kidding aside, I think many of us can relate to Chicklet's situation.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Chicklet,

You have been a VERY naughty girl.

You need to be spanked.

Often.

And hard!

That should make you feel better. And him. And lead to other fun things.

 

[RJMasters]

Peerhaps an opportunity in disguise. You didn't mention if this fellow was into BDSM in anyway but if he is you might use it as an opportunity.

Start out with a bit of honesty and say your sorry for calling him "mike". The truth is that you had a special relationship with mike and now its over but you are still working it out of your system. (here is the opportunity part) I'd like to make it up to you and give you a chance to help me work it out of my system. I was thinking you could tie me up and use a paddle on my ass. Make me say "mike" and then give me a damn hard smack with the paddle.

If he would go for it, it might work out and he would enjoy getting to teach you a lesson for calling him another man's name and also get a chance to help you get what's his name out of your system.

 

[JMohegan]

is this the worst thing to do to someone?

Nope. Not by a long shot.

Lying to a partner.... cheating on a partner.... insulting a partner.... speaking disrespectfully about a partner behind their back.... Think about this now. The list of Worse Things to Do is pretty freakin' long, wouldn't you say?

Calling someone by an ex's name? Heck, I've heard people accidentally do that stone cold sober, and even heard about times when it's been done in very intimate settings - again, sober as can be.

Cut yourself some slack here, Chicklet. If he's an understanding and decent guy, he'll be able to put this in perspective. And if he's not an understanding and decent guy..... Well, you get the idea.


Mind if we talk about his behavior for a moment?

There are vague memories of him filling my glass up again and again.

There are rules about this sort of thing. [At least, there used to be! ]

The rule is/was/should be..... If your date gets smashed, the honorable thing to do at the end of the evening is to take her home, give her a tall glass of water, put her to bed (alone), and leave.

This situation was a test of sorts for the guy, and I'd say he passed. Not exactly with an A+, but a pass nonetheless.

He wants to see you again? That's a great sign. My advice would be to apologize briefly if you want to, but not to make a big deal about it if he doesn't seem upset.

In other words....

Take his cues, lose the guilt, it's a very human kind of thing to do!

Ditto from me.

Best of luck to you, Chicklet.

 

[Xelebes]

This is why I don't drink.

Oh, and it is widely acknowledged that showing people pictures of goatse is the worst thing to do to someone, actually.

You get used to it after a while.

 

[CutieMouse]

Honey, if I can be understanding about my children calling me M___ (their father's girlfriend's name) instead of Mom, and still Love them/laugh about how it really is a bit of a tounge twister that Mom and M___ (her name) and M___ (my name) are all so similar, and the kids can get a chuckle out of it as well, and correct themselves without feeling guilty... you and your friend can say "Wow... that was embarrassing and stupid. So sorry." and move on.

 

[Chicklet]

I am going to be little miss unpopular on this one . I don't think people get waived of responsibility because they have been drinking. Saving grace Chicklet it was mutual in as much as you shared the time prior to the things that are bothering you now. You did describe a range of behaviour that you obviously would not think appropriate in sobriety.

I agree with this, which is why i'm horrified.

i think what irritates me about my behavior the most is that i thought i was at least partially over mike, but obviously i'm not. and i'm upset that he's still bothering me months after he dumped me. why should he be effecting my life?

 

[Chicklet]

Peerhaps an opportunity in disguise. You didn't mention if this fellow was into BDSM in anyway but if he is you might use it as an opportunity.

he's willing to try, but he isn't really *into* it. i think he'd probably be submissive, or a switch at best, which is a huge turn off for me... but i'm willing to give a vanilla guy a try >< i already offered to let him spank me for it

 

[Aeroil]

You get used to it after a while.

Unfourtunately.

 

[Stegral]

If "Mike" isn't out of your head yet it is narural to make the slip.
My WORST & ONLY offence was in the middle of some VERY wonderful licking of my lower lips I grabbed his hair & uttered some very garbled words with my most recent ex's name in there... I was MORTIFIED, scrambled away from him & just gushed out the apologies...
He grabbed my ankles, drug me back into position, looked me in the eye & said:
"I was only just starting, Baby, I intend to outdo him by a long shot."
smiled devilishly & went back to it like nothing had happened. It still bothers me to this day & have since started doing what guys do... saying baby, sweetie, honey, love, anything but a name....

we spent 3 more years together after this & he NEVER once threw it back at me.
If the new guy can laugh it off & still wants to see you GO FOR IT !!!
(he obviously isn't a jerk with an inflated ego just waiting to pop)
I like how the BDSM gets worked in !!!! awesome suggestions !!!!