Sibling rivalry

[Silverlily]

Does anyone else have siblings they just aren't close to? My two brothers and I rarely talk to each other and never visit. My husband comes from a smotheringly close family and claims nothing is thicker than blood.

Nothing happened to cause this lack of contact, no huge family fallout. If anything, we should be closer, my mother has ALS and probably less than a year left. But there is just no interest in communication. I think the bottom line is my brothers are not the kind of people I would be friends with, too many personality differences.

I would appreciate any take on this, either way.

 

[CreamyLady]

My sister and I are very close; our brother isn't so close to either of us.

Actually, we tend to think he is just Weird.

He will be there for us in a real crisis, but it is strictly a limited gift; the minute there is any improvement, he is gone.

Oh, well.

 

[teresafannin]

My youngest sister is my best friend & I can't imagine not having her in my life. I am closer to her than anyone else, except for my fiancee. I have another sister I am kind of close to, I rarely see my brother & it hurts. He has a son who is the same age my son would be. Shortly after my son was killed, my brother kicked his son out. There were a lot of things going on, but ultimately my brother chose a woman over his own son. I can not forgive him for not putting his child first. My son was everything to me & I would give anything to have him back. My fiancee's family isn't really close, but they have been there for us. I have some of the best friends in the world, so I feel that they are part of my extended family.

 

[morgainefairy]

my younger brother has been brainwashed (literally) by his mother so he does not contact us. my older brother has overwhelming shame issues and disappears for months at a time.
when i do get to see either of them it is a wonderful and joyous occasion. my family is just pretty screwed up. i didn't meeet my older brother until i was 12, then again at 16 when i met my younger brother.
i love them as much as my dad, husband, and children. we just are too dysfunctional, i guess.

 

[Patryn]

I have no siblings...well, a 1/2 brother I didn't know about until I was 14, but that doesn't really "count". I can relate, however. We have a small family, and my mom feels compelled to play martyr. She's mortaged her house 3 times, works 4 part time jobs when she could easily have had a full time and an easy part time job, and then bitches and whines to EVERYONE how she spends all her time working and all she does for everything she has.

She never calls me....I can't remember the last time I talked to her. Yeah, it pisses me off, but you can't pick your family. There's other things that have happened that have driven us apart, but we are 2 completely different people. Feel how you feel, I guess. There's no law anywhere that says you have to get along with everyone you're related to, or that you have to be close to them because you're blood, regardless of what may or may not, in your case, have happened.

 

[Silverlily]

Thanks, sometimes just knowing other people feel the same makes all the difference.

Aftering posting, I starting wondering why I even cared at all. I think it's because I do love my family and it does hurt to be so distant.

However, I can't force a situation to work and am not going to try. If they ever need me I'm here.

 

[KillerMuffin]

I can completely empathize with you Kitten. I'm married into a big family and it seems no matter how far away we move, we're always tripping over one or the other of them. Their business is our business and vice versa. When I think about my husband's kin, the only word that comes to mind is the Sacketts. Family reunions to the umpteenth generation. Noddin kin are as well known and accepted as close cousins.

My family is the opposite. I haven't spoken to my father in 8 years and generally only remember my mother when mother's day rolls around and the grocery store has a sale on flowers. I've seen my brother twice in the last few years, we get along all right now, but we never did before. The concept of noddin kin is alien to my family. Anything beyond first cousins are strangers. We are a relatively silent, hostile group when we are together. So we just don't do it. Yes, I have a very sad family life, nicely dysfunctional. It will probably take a tragedy of immense proportions to bring us together. Something along the lines of what happened to the royal family before Tom Arnold became the King of England.

 

[Silverlily]

f It will probably take a tragedy of immense proportions to bring us together.

I wish that were the case. Like I said earlier, my mother is terminally ill, ALS. One brother has decided to run as far away as he can. He's been very clear, he will show up for the funeral and leave immediately thereafter. (What he doesn't know is it may be with his teeth in a baggie.)

Wow, seeing it in print, I had no idea I felt this hostile.

 

[LusicousLionness]

brothers!