Should I Tell Her?

[Olive Hizklosoff]

My wife doesn't know that I've been submitting stories for the last several months to Literotica. All of the stories are a combination of fact and fantasy. I don't know how she might react to the fact that I have exposed some of the most intimate details of our lives to the public. Of course, she would assume that everybody knows it me who is writing the stories. Our sex life is worth writing about (at least I think so). I don't know if she would be unhappy about the embellishments or want to live up to them. Also, there are some details of my life that could be contentious.

Anybody else had this experience? Do you write without your S/O's knowledge? If he or she does know, what do they think about it?

 

[Recidiva]

My husband knows I write and post here. He posts here.

I think if you have a concern, you should address it.

 

[rgraham666]

Tell her. Keeping secrets is a bad thing for a relationship.

 

[TheEarl]

I have written without an S/O's knowledge before, but never for a long period of time and never about her. If you're gonna be using her as a character, or basing some of the storylines on you and her, then you really need to tell her.

My advice would be to withdraw the stories from Lit for the time being and tell her that you've been writing stories in your spare time. Show them to her and hope that she likes them. If she does, then you can suggest putting them up on this cool website that you found.

I'll go with Rgraham in that secrets are bad. Whatever you choose to do, you can't keep the status quo, as it's currently quite wrong.

The Earl

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Ummm... what does she think you've been doing on Lit for the last year?

Tell her. Maybe she has some delicious ideas of her own

 

[Aurora Black]

Sure, tell her if you think she can handle it. What do you have to lose? If anything, you'll be letting the secret off your chest.

Yes, he knows about my stories and he supports my writing. So does my mom.

 

[matriarch]

Nobody in my family, and very few of my friends know about my Lit writing. They all know I've written poetry for years (my first love), but as I'd never written stories before coming to Lit, they would have no idea about them. I have no intention of telling them.

Of course, the most important person in my life, the adorable gosling, is fully aware of all my sexual proclivities......in and out of Lit stories.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

My wife doesn't know that I've been submitting stories for the last several months to Literotica. All of the stories are a combination of fact and fantasy. I don't know how she might react to the fact that I have exposed some of the most intimate details of our lives to the public. Of course, she would assume that everybody knows it me who is writing the stories. Our sex life is worth writing about (at least I think so). I don't know if she would be unhappy about the embellishments or want to live up to them. Also, there are some details of my life that could be contentious.

Anybody else had this experience? Do you write without your S/O's knowledge? If he or she does know, what do they think about it?

I'll bump the 'Does Your SO Support Your Writing' thread for you to take a look at. I agree that honesty is important in a relationship, but there are a lot of people who post here without the knowledge of their partners, simply because it would cause a huge rift in their relationships. Many Lit authors have SO's who are conservative and would look down on their writing as sick or dirty and use it as a weapon against the author. I think it's important to think about your spouse's reaction seriously before you tell them. I'd love to have a partner who shares my passion for writing or gets off on what I write, but unfortunately it's not going to happen in the relationship I have now. Best of luck and welcome to the AH.

 

[Aurora Black]

I guess it all boils down to how well you know her.

 

[arienette]

I'll bump the 'Does Your SO Support Your Writing' thread for you to take a look at. I agree that honesty is important in a relationship, but there are a lot of people who post here without the knowledge of their partners, simply because it would cause a huge rift in their relationships. Many Lit authors have SO's who are conservative and would look down on their writing as sick or dirty and use it as a weapon against the author. I think it's important to think about your spouse's reaction seriously before you tell them. I'd love to have a partner who shares my passion for writing or gets off on what I write, but unfortunately it's not going to happen in the relationship I have now. Best of luck and welcome to the AH.

That's a very helpful thread indeed, definitely worth checking out - I did.

 

[Guest]

Tell her or don't tell her? Hmm, tough options, how about a better one, stop writing about facts.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

That's a very helpful thread indeed, definitely worth checking out - I did.

Thanks, Ari. It's definitely interesting to look back and see how far we've all come since I started it.

 

[nyte_byrd]

I think to tell or not to tell is a pretty personal decision, based on the type of relationship that you have. I told mine, but only because I would feel like I was cheating on him if I went into any sex-related endeavors without his knowledge. He was just fine with it, so there's no problem, but not everyone is that open-minded.

I'm generally of the old-fashioned thought that there should be no major secrets between couples in a solid relationship, but sometimes you do have to put on the thinking cap and find the right way to approach a subject. If the tables were turned and my partner was the one doing the writing, I think it would bother me if I thought that everyone knew that it was my real sex life that he was writing about, especially if I found out that he went to a message board and *said* it was! If I was comfortable that he was writing about me in a manner that no one could actually identify me in though, then it wouldn't bother me.