Short Story Feedback

[J_Bonham]

Merry Christmas everybody!

Just wrote this a couple of days ago. I'm curious what you all think of it. Feedback? Suggestions? Any constructive criticism is appreciated. Thanks!

[Material prohibited per our forum guidelines]

 

[Areala-chan]

Please note this forum is for discussion of stories that have already been published here at LIT, not an area for full pieces that haven't gone through Laurel's review process. You can request feedback on short bits of your work to ask about spelling or how to improve the flow of a paragraph or two, but will be deleted by the moderators.

Go through the normal submission process, post a link, and then we can help.