Shooting the Shit with Jesus.

[Black_Bird]

Hello Jesus.

~Hey, man. Whats up?~

Ah, nothing much... Looking for a J*O*B, speading copious amounts of times with friends I miss. Trying to get my sleep patern back to normal, but it isn't working.

~Bummer, man. Don't you know, that you got to lay off the bottle a bit? Its screws with your z's, man.~

Yeah, I know. I drink a little *too* much sometimes. At least I'm not like some people: I pride myself on *never* drinking to get drunk.

~I hear you, brother. But Big Papa's a little bit worried. I told her not to worry; you're one smooth cat that knows when to say when. Now, what's this I hear about you reading all this blaspheming jazz?~

Uh, yeah. *swallows* Well, you see, some of it's pretty funny, actually. It isn't like I don't like you and God, it's just that... well - some people just take you too damn seriously.

Talking about serious - How's old Buddha doing? It's been a while since I've seen him.

~Still chilling. Still can't figure out that vinagar tasting jazz... and Lao Tzu wants me to pass to you that the wheels in your head turn too much, man. It's cool when you're looking to mix something new, but all that other jazz - Big Pappa's got it undercontrol. Now who's this Crowley dude you've been hanging with.~

Er, uh... just a friend. I think you would like him... he's iconclastic, much like you were. Nice guy. He's got a bit of an ego problem, though; he think he's your rival. I'm pretty sure that's just a joke, though...

~Sheeit. Ain't no one a rival when you're everybody's friend, man. I'm sure this Crowley dude knows that. I'll have to share a dubbie with the cat and get to know him better.~

*Nods* I don't see why not... anyway, I've got to see what everyone else here on earth is up to, like my friends on Lit. I'll catch you later J.

~Peace, little dude.~

 

[sch00lteacher]

Next time you guys have a chat, ask him what the deal is with children getting things like cancer and shit. I'd like to know what he says.

 

[riff]

Next time you guys have a chat, ask him what the deal is with children getting things like cancer and shit. I'd like to know what he says.

Ah, the problem of physical evil and how to reconcile it with spiritual good.

Can be a toughie, yes?

 

[Black_Bird]

Next time you guys have a chat, ask him what the deal is with children getting things like cancer and shit. I'd like to know what he says.

*Raises Eyebrow* Feeling a little bitter today, Teach?

 

[Silverlily]

Jesus stoned...that explains a lot. And to think all this time I thought he just didn't care.


(teach isn't the only one with a bone to pick)

 

[p_p_man]

Just a little change Jeez baby...

"Y'know that prayer you've got everyone learning by heart"

"What one's that then? Prayers, I gotta a hundred prayers..."

"You know, the one that goes something like, Hey Papa upstairs..."

"Oh you mean Our Father which art in Heaven."

"Yeah, yeah, that's it."

"Well what about it?"

"When you get to the bit that says something about bread."

" Give us this day our daily bread?"

Yeah, whatever. Can you just add "and Cohen's marmalade" at the end..."

"For you Moshe, anything..."

 

[Thumper]

Children getting cancer, criminals, et al

I have often wondered why God/Jesus, if he loved us as much as we are told, would allow children to get sick and for criminals to prey upon the innocent, and for general misfortune to befall some of us.

I believe this...that they are here to test us. And to teach us. Could it be possible for someone like Jeffery Dahmer to actuallybe sent here by God? Why not? Can you think of anyone (I am sure we can think of plenty of others but this is just an example) else that would test our patience, our understanding, and our capacity to forgive, any more than him?

God gave us the commandments and the instructions on how we are to treat these people and perhaps he periodically sends us a pop quiz to see how we are doing.

Who suffers, and hence, learns more when a child is afflicted with a terminal illness. The child is here but a short time and is then reunited with the creator in peace, it is left to us to wonder on the circumstances of the passing and maybe even knock us down a rung or two on the arrogance ladder. A lesson in humility.

Every person we meet that suffers from some misfortune is an opportunity for us to exercise the lessons we need to learn.

Feed the hungry.
Befriend the friendless.
Comfort the grief stricken.
Forgive the guilty.
Protect the innocent.
Warm those who are cold and



Clothe the naked.....


unless, of course, you are at a nudist camp or Lit. *hey, gotta have some fun too*

 

[Guest]

Hello Jesus.

~Hey, man. Whats up?~

Ah, nothing much... Looking for a J*O*B, speading copious amounts of times with friends I miss. Trying to get my sleep patern back to normal, but it isn't working.

~Bummer, man. Don't you know, that you got to lay off the bottle a bit? Its screws with your z's, man.~

Yeah, I know. I drink a little *too* much sometimes. At least I'm not like some people: I pride myself on *never* drinking to get drunk.

~I hear you, brother. But Big Papa's a little bit worried. I told her not to worry; you're one smooth cat that knows when to say when. Now, what's this I hear about you reading all this blaspheming jazz?~

Uh, yeah. *swallows* Well, you see, some of it's pretty funny, actually. It isn't like I don't like you and God, it's just that... well - some people just take you too damn seriously.

Talking about serious - How's old Buddha doing? It's been a while since I've seen him.

~Still chilling. Still can't figure out that vinagar tasting jazz... and Lao Tzu wants me to pass to you that the wheels in your head turn too much, man. It's cool when you're looking to mix something new, but all that other jazz - Big Pappa's got it undercontrol. Now who's this Crowley dude you've been hanging with.~

Er, uh... just a friend. I think you would like him... he's iconclastic, much like you were. Nice guy. He's got a bit of an ego problem, though; he think he's your rival. I'm pretty sure that's just a joke, though...

~Sheeit. Ain't no one a rival when you're everybody's friend, man. I'm sure this Crowley dude knows that. I'll have to share a dubbie with the cat and get to know him better.~

*Nods* I don't see why not... anyway, I've got to see what everyone else here on earth is up to, like my friends on Lit. I'll catch you later J.

~Peace, little dude.~

I liked it better when King Missile did it:

Jesus Was Way Cool

Jesus was way cool
Everybody liked Jesus
Everybody wanted to hang out with him
Anything he wanted to do, he did
He turned water into wine
And if he wanted to
He could have turned wheat into marijuana
Or sugar into cocaine
Or vitamin pills into amphetamines

He walked on the water
And swam on the land
He would tell these stories
And people would listen
He was really cool

If you were blind or lame
You just went to Jesus
And he would put his hands on you
And you would be healed
That's so cool

He could've played guitar better than Hendrix
He could've told the future
He could've baked the most delicious cake in the world
He could've scored more goals than Wayne Gretzky
He could've danced better than Barishnikov
Jesus could have been funnier than any comedian you can think of
Jesus was way cool

He told people to eat his body and drink his blood
That's so cool
Jesus was so cool
But then some people got jealous of how cool he was
So they killed him
But then he rose from the dead
He rose from the dead, danced around
Then went up to heaven
I mean, that's so cool
Jesus was way cool

No wonder there are so many Christians

 

[Calamity Jane]

Ya know what I love about trolls? I love that they pick out cool people and bump their threads right back to the top of the page. It's like a public service, if ya think about it.

 

[Guest]

Ya know what I love about trolls? I love that they pick out cool people and bump their threads right back to the top of the page. It's like a public service, if ya think about it.

Oh go brush a horse.

Maybe you can lead Little Lord Black Bird around on it after you break out a doilley for his tushie.

 

[Calamity Jane]

Oh go brush a horse.

Maybe you can lead Little Lord Black Bird around on it after you break out a doilley for his tushie.

if me and BB are goin ridin... we aren't gonna need a horse... but thanks for your input.

 

[freakygirl]

Thumper,

I hope you don't mind.. I printed out your post..

I'm giving it to my mom.. who, right now and for along time, can't figure out why my brother was taken at such a young age (22)

I think this might just help some..

Wise words..

Thank you



(oh.. i did edit out the very last line about the nudist camp... hope you don't mind )

 

[Guest]

if me and BB are goin ridin... we aren't gonna need a horse... but thanks for your input.

Make sure you give him a reach around at least.

 

[Black_Bird]

if me and BB are goin ridin... we aren't gonna need a horse... but thanks for your input.

And why not? The horse wouldn't know what we would be doing on it's back, would it?

 

[Calamity Jane]

And why not? The horse wouldn't know what we would be doing on it's back, would it?

ohhh... good point. i DO have this wee lil fantasy about being taken on horseback... can you pretend to be a savage indian warrior?

 

[Black_Bird]

ohhh... good point. i DO have this wee lil fantasy about being taken on horseback... can you pretend to be a savage indian warrior?

Just as long as you can pretend to be a virtuous missionary...

 

[Calamity Jane]

Just as long as you can pretend to be a virtuous missionary...

I think i can fake virtuousness.

 

[Black_Bird]

I think i can fake virtuousness.

*snicker*

Sex on horse back, fun fun fun...

... as long as the mare doesn't buck.

 

[sch00lteacher]

*Raises Eyebrow* Feeling a little bitter today, Teach?

My original statement - Next time you guys have a chat, ask him what the deal is with children getting things like cancer and shit. I'd like to know what he says.

Maybe I was a little bitter. But I was serious about wanting to know. If I ever get the chance I will ask the man. I don't understand why children have to suffer. I mean if it was in my power, all children would be hands off until they at least understood what the fuck was going on. They would be safe and secure, well fed...

This is one of the reasons I am not a christian. I don't understand why a loving god whould let such things happen. I believe in higher powers, good and evil. But not in the bible's god and devil.