Shit, shittier, my day

[Svenskaflicka]

I've had one of THOSE days. I'm not sure if I should cry, vomit, or go to sleep.

I need lots and lots of hugs and sympathy!

 

[MathGirl]

I need lots and lots of hugs and sympathy!

Dear Svenska,
Poor, poor, poor Svenska. Awwwwwww. Huggie huggie. Kissy kissy. Poor sweet baby. There, there. It's gonna be okay.
MG
Ps.
Svenska have rough day
Treated badly by Philistines
Need some aquavit

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Thank you, that's EXACTLY what I need right now - a laugh!

Ooooouuuugh, I hate beauraucrates - and I can't even spell the effing word!

 

[Guest]

Svenskaya-mou,

Calmate, calmate. Sleep, masturbate, drink lots of water; repeat.

Close your eyes and imagine us being bitches together.

Imagine us in a 3-way with Alan (Yeah, yeah, I won't go near your snatch; we'll focus on him and make him recite anything we want to hear.) Imagine the sounds the velvet makes when he cums).

con mucho amor, Perdita

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Another laugh. Great job, girlfriends. More! More!

Why this was such a shitty day? Because I started the new computer course today, and found out that I'm in some kind of kindergarten for grown-ups. I'm bringing a book tomorrow. Or a crossword. Or my knitting. Anything to keep me busy while I sit in the room where the kindergarten teachers talk to us about How To Fill In An Application, and other intellectually stimulating things.

I expected to start learning things right away, but the real classes will not start for another 2 weeks. Until then, we're gonna talk about Who Am I And What Do I Want To Do With My Life? and write a whole paper full of Things That I Am Good At.
Today, I learned the favourite food and marital status of 18 strangers, whom I hopefully will never meet again once this course is over.
I get a chuckle ONCE today, when I were presenting myself to the class, and mentioned that I'm an author, and that my works are published on several websites; and one of the teachers asked me to write down the address for her later. Maybe I SHOULD give her the address, just for the hell of it?

Then I had a loooooooooong meeting with the woman who handles my case at the unemployment agency. Long, because she couldn't fit my bankaccount number into the bracket in the computer file, and was I SURE that I remembered it correctly? Well, I had only used it a few times a week for the past 5 years, but yes, I was damned sure. Then she had a phone call about another client, and chatted for atleast 20 minutes, completely ignoring me! I finally got annoyed, and took out my mobile, and started playing games on it (with the sound off, though). When she hung up, I adviced her to turn the phone off, or simply tell the people calling that she was busy with a client, but she snapped at me that since I had just dropped into her office without booking a meeting in advance, I just had to deal with things the way they were. At that very moment, one of her children called, asking what they would have for dinner, and a long conversation started... By now, I was so effing irritated with the crone, that I just grinned and nodded to her stupid suggestions that I should talk to the bank and ask if the money would perhaps go into the correct account even if there was a number missing? and got my papers and left.

The sad thing here is that I've met several STUPID people today, and all of them have well-paid jobs. Society is flipping me the finger...

 

[oggbashan]

Job Hunting

Dear Svenskaflicka,

Been there, done that.

Went to a job centre interview. Gave them a printout of last month's 50+ job applications, with results and feedback.

Interviewer tried to call up my details on computer. Couldn't. I fixed computer so he could. He didn't have space to enter everything I'd done so I altered the default settings on his wordprocessor.

End of interview: "Would you like to attend an introductory course on computers?" Referred him to my CV which shows 30 odd years use of computers. "Is that a no?"

Upside: My cousin married an Australian girl and went to Sydney. He couldn't get a job so he spent days at the job centre writing applications and pestering them. After 3 months they gave him a temporary job in the place as a relief filing clerk. He now manages 10 job centres.

Og

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Re: Job Hunting

End of interview: "Would you like to attend an introductory course on computers?" Referred him to my CV which shows 30 odd years use of computers. "Is that a no?"
Og

*applause*

I'm laughing so hard, I got tears in my eyes!

In class today, when I was sighing inwardly because we won't even start DISCUSSING what different subjects to choose from until Friday, a blonde next to me winced out loud: "Ohmagawd, we have to decide what subjects to study on Friday ALLREADY???"

It's senior high all over again. The A's and the F's in the same class, and some fanatically smiling teacher trying to give all of them a suitable education.

No wonder this world is ruled by the mediocrities!

 

[Svenskaflicka]

OK.

I moped. I winced. I whined. I bitched. I finished a whole box of ice-cream. MINT flavour.

Now I'm both cranky AND nausiated.



Svenskaflicka
Dwelling In Self Pity

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

OK. I moped. I winced. I whined. I bitched. I finished a whole box of ice-cream. MINT flavour. Now I'm both cranky AND nausiated.

Svenskaflicka
Dwelling In Self Pity

Svenska,

In times of distress, danger, and the dumps, when I'm certain things couldn't get worse, I find it helpful to remember our long-suffering Chineese cousins. Just think about it child, there's over one billion of those poor devils over there - and they don't have a decent beer to drink. Kinda puts ones' own personal suufering in perspective--don't you think?

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I don't drink alcohol, Rumple...

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

I don't drink alcohol, Rumple...

No wonder you've been having a bad day. Courage. Like a kidney stone in the urinary tract of life, this too shall pass-maybe not without a certain degree of pain and discomfort, but it shall pass. RF

 

[oggbashan]

Target Practice

Put up a target with a picture/sketch of the woman at the unemployment agency and throw large felling axes at it.

Works for me.

Og

PS. It should be a solid target. 2 metres across and 100mm thick oak should do for the first week.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Two weeks. Two friggin' weeks of lectures on How To Apply For A Job and Find Your Inner Skills. I suppose by the end of the week, we'll all sit in a circle and sing Kumbaya.

You know, today was the first time I have ever heard someone utter the word "individuals" in a tone of disgust.
"You're all sitting here, like a bunch of individuals - but we'll soon change that! We're gonna turn you into a smooth, well-functioning group!"

Time to pick up a corset and a sunbonnet - Time is moving backwards. Back into the days when we were supposed to stand there clutching our hats, and thank our masters for whipping us...

...a metaphor that doesn't have quite the same meaning on Literotica, I realize.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Re: Target Practice

Put up a target with a picture/sketch of the woman at the unemployment agency and throw large felling axes at it.

Works for me.

Og

PS. It should be a solid target. 2 metres across and 100mm thick oak should do for the first week.

Actually, axe throwing is a sport that I have tried out, and I liked it very much. I'm best at throwing the double-edged axes, I discovered. Better rotation, better speed, better impact... and it looks really cool to wave the sucker in the air.

BERSERK!!!

 

[oggbashan]

If the axes aren't available, cutlass swinging is good for working off irritation.

The concentration necessary to avoid slicing off protruding parts of your anatomy such as arms and legs takes away the anger.

Naval cutlasses are heavy and are useless unless they are sharp enough to shave with.

Unsliced Og

 

[Quasimodem]

Svenskaflicka,

Over the last twenty years, I have been sent to take several courses. A number of them were computer courses.

I have learned that where the student is prepared to learn, and the teacher is prepared to teach, most courses could cover the same amount of subject, in half – possibly a quarter – of the time.

Alternately, anything requiring the contributions of a bureaucrat, will require twice the time. A bureaucrat with their own office can fill up to ten times the length to complete the same function.

A bureaucrat with a private office which contains a telephone, or a computer, can probably use up one hundred times the length for the identical function.

Once you have a bureaucrat in their own private office, with a telephone and a computer, the amount of time that they can waste becomes infinite.


Speaking of people who work for the government whose job keeps expanding, consider this story about the American Troops in Iraq


Troops Hunting Saddam Say Their Prey Is 'Elvis'
Tue August 5, 2003 10:27 AM ET

TIKRIT, Iraq (Reuters) - He used to be Mr. President, The Leader (May God Preserve him) or The Respected General.

Now Saddam Hussein is HVT No. 1, a "high-value target" to U.S. troops in Iraq, sometimes the Ace of Spades, as he appears in a deck of "most wanted" cards, more often just "The Big Guy."

But to the soldiers of the 1st Battalion 22nd Infantry Regiment out of Fort Hood Texas who are spearheading the hunt around Saddam's home town of Tikrit, he is simply "Elvis."

Not content with the Pentagon's photofit images of what the elusive dictator may now look like, their mess hall in one of his palaces sports a doctored official portrait showing a now coiffed and sideburned Saddam under the title "Elvis Lives!."

Inspired by countless supermarket tabloid "sightings" of the late rock legend, troops say they are on Saddam's trail.

"Course we gonna get Elvis," said one senior officer. "Last I heard he was working in a Burger King down in Tikrit."

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Thanks for cheering me up, everyone. I'll go to bed now, to sleep calmly in the conviction that tomorrow can't be worse than today - only "as bad".

 

[Guest]

The worst is not, so long as we can say
This is the worst.
Sh're, King Lear

night, night, Sweet Svenska,

Perdita

 

[Chicklet]

I've had one of THOSE days. I'm not sure if I should cry, vomit, or go to sleep.

I need lots and lots of hugs and sympathy!

hugs for you

would it cheer you up if I told you I was going to Brazil? That sure made *my* day = )

 

[TheEarl]

Svenska: You need sarcasm. Learn to be a little more English and take the piss out of simply everything your patronising teacher says. It'll entertain you if nothing else.

Alternatively take one of the double-edged axes in with you next time.

The Earl

 

[Guest]

Flicka, I love your AV, you know that, it is so you. But now I imagine one of you holding a double-edged axe. What an image!

Perdita

 

[Dirty Slut]

Please, no more talk about bladed instruments here...

(((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))) If I could, I'd bring your hubby over there to do the hugging for me, but I too am flat broke Flicka. Call me Poet in debt if you will, and it is emotionally draining.

DS

 

[Guest]

Tomorrow (and tomorrow and tomorrow...)

Feeling better sweet Swede?

Perdita

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Day 2 At The Course From Hell

I started the day with some fighting and name-calling with a young man who thought himself above the rules against smoking outside the school building.
That was followed by endless lectures on the topic of The Importance Of Co-operation, and after lunch, it was rounded off nicely with us writing lists on things we were good at, and illustrating our lists with felt pens. I was a little disappointed that we didn't get to use crayons, but you can't have everything (where would you put it?).
The whole day, I had a migraine, and sat next to 5 people who were all smokers. I have asthma.

Hubby hasn't called me for almost two weeks, I suppose he's buried in work, and I'm still having some kind of mental PMS.

I've found a new hobby, though...

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Day 2 At The Course From Hell

Dear Svenska,
Sounds like your class will advance to fingerpainting next.
MG
Ps. You'll never hit a baseball with a swing like that.