<= Shit! Does this mean I have to be all wise and crap?

[Lucifer_Carroll]

Supposedly I am now a guru. And yet, I don't appear any wiser and my beard is still black not white and I haven't been magically whisked to a mountaintop to dispense fortune cookie philosophies to really tired hikers. I'm going to sue for false advertising.

 

[rgraham666]

But Lucifer, think of all the souls you can claim, corrupting people and telling them it's wisdom.

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

But Lucifer, think of all the souls you can claim, corrupting people and telling them it's wisdom.

Wisdom doesn't sell these days. Now I corrupt people and tell them it's what everyone else is doing. (Funny thing is I'm right. )

 

[ruminator]

It's all an illusion.

 

[rgraham666]

Wisdom doesn't sell these days. Now I corrupt people and tell them it's what everyone else is doing. (Funny thing is I'm right. )

Wisdom doesn't sell widely. There's still a market for it.

Think of it as expanding your consumer base.

 

[ruminator]

What about false idols? Those are usually a reliable hot item.

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

Wisdom doesn't sell widely. There's still a market for it.

Think of it as expanding your consumer base.

I might, but first I want to try this ad campaign:

"New Atkins approved Evil. Contains half the carbs!"

 

[rgraham666]

Stick in a couple of bottle blonds with large, fake breasts carressing the logo suggestively, and I think you've got a winner!

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

Luci,

Since attaining Guruhood I have begun asking a question which may lead my followers to enlightenment.

When anyone asks me to uneff the ineffable, I merely request that they answer the following question.


"What is the sound of one cheek farting?"

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Supposedly I am now a guru. And yet, I don't appear any wiser and my beard is still black not white and I haven't been magically whisked to a mountaintop to dispense fortune cookie philosophies to really tired hikers. I'm going to sue for false advertising.

Don't be silly. Wisdom doesn't come from Gurudom by itself. It comes from much more massive post numbers.


Check out this thread. Morwen deleted her two first two posts, but you can read them quoted on kiwiwolf and koalabear's posts. Boy, did I ever have fun on that thread.

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

Luci,

Since attaining Guruhood I have begun asking a question which may lead my followers to enlightenment.

When anyone asks me to uneff the ineffable, I merely request that they answer the following question.


"What is the sound of one cheek farting?"

*clears throat* <venerable voice> Why little one, it is simply fa-

 

[shereads]

Supposedly I am now a guru. And yet, I don't appear any wiser and my beard is still black not white and I haven't been magically whisked to a mountaintop to dispense fortune cookie philosophies to really tired hikers. I'm going to sue for false advertising.

Honey, you just follow my lead and you'll be fine. Not all-wise or even semi-wise, but wise-ish.

 

[rgraham666]

Honey, you just follow my lead and you'll be fine. Not all-wise or even semi-wise, but wise-ish.

And that's about as good as we mere humans can hope for.

 

[shereads]

And that's about as good as we mere humans can hope for.

Precisely.

 

[KarenAM]

Shit! Does this mean I have to be all wise and crap?

Generally it is considered wise to crap once in a while.

 

[Teenage Venus]

"What is the sound of one cheek farting?"

Shit! Does this mean I have to be all wise and crap?

There is actually a correlation between these two questions: The first is the result of expelling tapered turds. These stop the cheeks of your ass going to with a bang. It is advisable to do the second on a regular basis to attain the smooth silent action of the first.