Sheryl Crow needs TP for her bunghole.

[Saiyaman]

You just can't make stuff like this up.

http://www.emptybottle.org/images/cornholio.jpg
"All most pay tribute with TP to my bunghole!"

 

[vxrider]

Damn.I use a whole roll a week just jacking off to her.

 

[Seamus123]

THREE sheets, maximum?

What the hell do we do then?

Use our hands, or go collecting balmy jungle leaves for such a purpose?

*waves to Sheryl and calls out to her*: Hope you're liking the bandwagon as much as i'm enjoying not being on it!

Fucking hippies.

 

[TE999]

That one sheet trick really works if you fold it in half, tear out the center, unfold it and stick your finger through the hole.

Don't forget to wash up.

 

[Liar]

THREE sheets, maximum?

What the hell do we do then?

Wipe with the hides of small, endangered spieces.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Her TP joke is the most interesting thing you guys found in that article, huh?

The Beavis picture is perfect for you lot. http://www.emptybottle.org/images/cornholio.jpg
Huh huh huh she said TP!
The rest of her words are too hard to understand, I know. Don't bother trying.

(EDIT: Neither Liar nor TE999 are included in this comment)

 

[cloudy]

Her TP joke is the most interesting thing you guys found in that article, huh?

The Beavis picture is perfect for you lot. http://www.emptybottle.org/images/cornholio.jpg
Huh huh huh she said TP!
The rest of her words are too hard to understand, I know. Don't bother trying.

I love you, Stella.

 

[starrkers]

I love you, Stella.

May I join in here?

 

[Stella_Omega]

May I join in here?

Mmm, corsets!

I love the idea of Biodesel, although I don't think corn oil is theway to go- people aren't figuring in the cultivation costs, it seems to me. I betcha there are microbes we could put to work, though. I know there's some research going that way.

I talked to a woman who was driving a biodesel a few weeks back- you know, the ones that are supposed to run on used cooking oil from the restaurants. I asked her how difficult was it to get fuel- she said that, in fact, she'd stopped buying from restaurants because one batch she got had lard mixed in with the vegetable oil and it wrecked her engine...
So, now she buys corn oil by the gallon from Smart &Final. It's still cheaper than gasoline, she said.

 

[starrkers]

Sadly the government here has seen biodiesel coming - you can't use old cooking oil, or anything else without attracting the fuel producers taxes.

 

[Liar]

Her TP joke is the most interesting thing you guys found in that article, huh?

The Beavis picture is perfect for you lot.
Huh huh huh she said TP!
The rest of her words are too hard to understand, I know. Don't bother trying.

Uh, chill. The article didn't even load. Saw a joke, added a remark. Jeez.

But if you're so inclined...
The knee jerk condescending-line starts over -------------------------- there ----->

 

[Stella_Omega]

Uh, chill. The article didn't even load. Saw a joke, added a remark. Jeez.

But if you're so inclined...
The knee jerk condescending-line starts over -------------------------- there ----->

I thought your response was great, actually. I didn't see it till after I posted.

whadayagonnadoo?

 

[Stella_Omega]

Sadly the government here has seen biodiesel coming - you can't use old cooking oil, or anything else without attracting the fuel producers taxes.

that's... interesting... No tax breaks? You'd think they'd want to encourage alternative fuel use in any way possible- that's what the fuel producer's tax is for, isn't it?

 

[Liar]

whadayagonnadoo?

Snog?

 

[Boxlicker101]

Are you sure this wasn't a very late April Fool's Day Joke, or something reprinted from The Onion?

 

[S-Des]

"All most pay tribute with TP to my bunghole!"

Too funny. There's a reason why celebrities should stick to what they do best.

No Box, it wasn't a joke. Frighteningly enough, she's serious and it's not the first time she's made the comment. One wonders how she plans on enforcing said restriction, but to actually think about it makes me break out in giggles again.

 

[Guy Delphine]

There's nothing wrong with Sheryl, the woman's a goddess.

The only problem i have with her, is that at work they play the same music every day, and at about 7.30pm her song comes on about not letting the good ones pass you by, and it makes me think painfully about the good one that i let pass me by... ... apart from that she's great.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Too funny. There's a reason why celebrities should stick to what they do best.

No Box, it wasn't a joke. Frighteningly enough, she's serious and it's not the first time she's made the comment. One wonders how she plans on enforcing said restriction, but to actually think about it makes me break out in giggles again.

why the fuck should that frighten you? It's not like she actually thinks she can enforce it- she's a pop musician, not the President. (Who does think he can enforce any personal opinion he happens to have)

 

[Stella_Omega]

Snog?

Pucker up, baby

Personally, I'd like to get snogging down in a cave somewhere and let all this madness go on over my head- let me know when it's over.

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

Crow is off base. The answer is bidets - so much more civililized that smearing the klingons around with dead trees. I propose government subsidies to install them in every home and business. It's for the children. Oops, wrong decade. I mean, it's for the environment.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Crow is off base. The answer is bidets - so much more civililized that smearing the klingons around with dead trees. I propose government subsidies to install them in every home and business. It's for the children. Oops, wrong decade. I mean, it's for the environment.

But, bidets use quite a lot of water, and may be even worse, environmentally. I can just imagine some grim-faced G-man standing in front of a bathroom door, asking "What are you going to do in there?" and doling out a single sheet of TP if he thinks it will be needed.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

But, bidets use quite a lot of water, and may be even worse, environmentally. I can just imagine some grim-faced G-man standing in front of a bathroom door, asking "What are you going to do in there?" and doling out a single sheet of TP if he thinks it will be needed.

I hear that Japanese bidets tend to catch fire and burn rather than wash

 

[Boxlicker101]

My twisted mind brings up another possibility. While the grim G-man is doling out single squares of TP to people entering the rest room, there is somebody inside, who has smuggled several rolls in, and is making black market sales of sheets from the rolls.

Or how about this: Since TP is a restricted item, and no longer being sold in stores, people no longer discard all the sales catalogs they get in the mail. There may be other hidden benefits to this idea.

Or, how about a shiteasy? Modeled after a speakeasy from Prohibition days. People whisper "Joe sent me" at the door, are admitted, and head for a row of toilet stalls, each one provided with an unlimited supply of toilet paper, brought from Canada by bootleggers.

 

[Stella_Omega]

My twisted mind brings up another possibility. While the grim G-man is doling out single squares of TP to people entering the rest room, there is somebody inside, who has smuggled several rolls in, and is making black market sales of sheets from the rolls.

Or how about this: Since TP is a restricted item, and no longer being sold in stores, people no longer discard all the sales catalogs they get in the mail. There may be other hidden benefits to this idea.

Or, how about a shiteasy? Modeled after a speakeasy from Prohibition days. People whisper "Joe sent me" at the door, are admitted, and head for a row of toilet stalls, each one provided with an unlimited supply of toilet paper, brought from Canada by bootleggers.

Marry me!

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

I notice nobody has brought up "Pre-Owned" or, to put is delicatly, "Recycled" yet.