Sherwoody Forest

[The_high_king]

ooc: This thread is a parody, or spoof of the story of Robin Hood. It takes place in the medieval age, and can contain magic type things. It contains lots of action humor, action, and sex. Now I realize that their aren't many female characters in the actual story of Robin Hood, so I took the liberty of making my own characters, that resemble the actual characters from the story.

Robin Head:
the hero of this story, and so called bandit of Sherwoody forest. He is also leader of his band of horny men.

Big John:
Robin Hood's main man. He has two staffs, one he uses for a weapon, and the other, he dosn't show in public. He is also the strongest of Robin's band of horny men.

Jill Suckit:
The female version of Will Scarlet, but older. For those who are interested, she is a she-male. That means she has both, the car, and the car wash. However, she is a very beautiful girl with decent breasts, and her dick is the only thing male about her.

Nun Tuck:
The female version of Friar Tuck, but way younger, (in her mid thirties). She's not as holy as she seems, and she is also a excellent fighter.

Wench Meridian:
She is Robins true love, and a daughter of royalty. She can also shoot arrows with the accuracy of Robin Head.

Alan'o'Dickle:
A fine bard. He is a brave man, and great singer. Even though he does have a big ego.

Meridian's nanny:
She is thirty-four, and looking good. Also Meridian's most loyal friend. She also has the biggest breasts compared to the women in this thread.

Sheriff of Naughtyhamm:
The big bad guy. He will stop at nothing to capture, and kill Robin Head. He is greedy, and violent.

Soldiers:
The people who fight, and work for the Sheriff. Also the bad guys.

Servants:
Some of them are loyal to the Sheriff, and some of them work for Robin. Some are female, some are male.

The Horny men:
The people who work for Robin. They are loyal to the bone.

Nobles:
The true neutrals. The are geusts to the Sheriff, and money bags to Robin. Which he takes, and gives to the poor by the way.

Those are all the characters I will need for now, unless someone knows I missed somebody. So if I did, then please tell me. Anyways have fun! By the way, I'll be Robin.

ic: Robin swings down from the branch, and lands near a creek, waiting for the rabbit to hop by. He lifts the bow, and releases the arrow. The arrow hits the rabbit in the head, knocking it right off. The rabbit's dead body then rolls down a hill, and through some bbq sauce. It bounces of a rock, and lands into a pot above the campfire which Big John made. Now all he had to was wait. He decides to sharpen his arrows while he was at it.

 

[Destiny_Brent]

I'd like to reserve Nun Tucket

 

[Isolde]

*laughs* sounds fun. If you dont have anyone for the part I would like to try for Wench Meridian.

If you do than I will try Jill Suckit.

 

[The_high_king]

Ah great.

This is great. Destiny can be Nun Tuck, and Isolde can be Meridian. I can't believe it, overnight, and this thread already has two joiners.

 

[J Bravo]

Enter the big man...

I'll take "Big John". Let's get this biz-i-nit started.

 

[Tornado]

Anybody need a villian?

Every good story needs a villian. I'll play the Sheriff if he can be the reincarnation of Alan Rickman.

 

[The_high_king]

Go ahead

ooc: please feel free to start this thread. Please continue from where I left off though.

 

[Isolde]

Meridain

Meridain stood at attention as her father paced back and forth, his tone angry and his long cloak flowing behind him as he walked. She felt like one of his soldiers being chastised for an infraction of the military code.

Not that she had never been in this position before. But she never did like it. Sighing, she let her mind drift while her father's voice droned on and on. She could recite the lecture by heart anyway.

Lecture number 54. "How Many Times Have I Told You That Young Ladies...Especially Noble Young Ladies...Do Not Go Traipsing Out Into The Woods And Shoot Arrows?!"

"Three thousand-four-hundred and fifty eight," She said, not realizing she had spoken out loud until her father whirled about and advanced on her, his face angrier than before.

"What did you say, Meridain?," He said, his voice a growl,"Are you trying to be funny, young lady?"

"No, Sir," She sighed as she rolled her eyes,"Why would I try something like that in this household."

Her father did not get it and nodded in satisfaction thinking he had cowed her. "Quite right...and dont you forget it!"

Turning on Nanny, he said,"And make sure you watch her better! I dont know why I dont fire you on the spot!" Then he was out the door and slamming it shut. Seconds later, Meridain heard the bolt shoot home. Locked in her room again. So what was new?

Turning to look at Nanny, she said with a smile,"If he doesnt know why he keeps you here, than he should look at the front of his trousers when he is around you."

Moving to her closet, Meridain begin rummaging through it, Nanny looking over her shoulder.

"What are you doing? Looking for your needlepoint to pass the time with?"

Meridain brought her head out of her closet and looked at Nanny with a incredulous look.

"Yeah, right! Come on! You know me better than that," She said before diving right back into the closet. This time she came out with a smile on her face and a sack under her arms that had been buried underneath all the 'noble ladies' stuff that her father insisted she keep.

Opening the sack, she removed two sets of clothing consisting of tunic and leggings as well as a bow and arrows to replace those taken by her father and a rope.

Throwing one set to Nanny, she donned the other and picked up her bow, arrows and rope.

"Father always tells me to be prepared. Wouldnt he be surprised that I actually listen to one of his lectures? Come on, lets go. Times awaisting."

Nanny sighed. She knew more than to argue with Meridain and so she, too, was soon dressed.

"Your father is going to kill us when he finds out," Nanny said as Meridain tied the rope around a solid fixture and hauled it out the window.

Meridain laughed and clambered up on the window ledge and grabbed the rope.

"Naw, he will get over it, he always does,"Then she swung over the ledge and was scaling down the wall. Soon she and Nanny were on the ground and wending their way through the garden to a secret door there. Soon after that they had both disappeared into the woods and were happily moving deeper into them, chattering together like doom didnt await them when they got back.

 

[Destiny_Brent]

I tug at my hair, trying to tuck back the loose strands that had fallen out of my bun.

This heat is driving me nuts, I think to myself as I finally return my attention to the cart. All loaded. I can't wait to get into the forest for a nice cool ride in the shade.

With a fleeting glance at the church I pull myself up into the front of the cart. I finally have everything... the foodstuffs and liquor, for medicinal purposes of course, to deliver to the poor locals. Damn that King John for putting these burdoness taxes on them.

"Hya!"

They began down the trail leading into the dark brush of Sherwoody forest.

 

[The_high_king]

Robin Head

I heard someone from the far end of the trail. It seemed to be coming from the church, Nun Tuck with some supplies no doubt. She stops her horse near a creek, and walks over to me, "ah, Sister Tuck, would you care to join me for some rabbit stew".

 

[Guest]

As the Sheriff of Naughtyhamm looked down at the spectacularly ugly "woman" sucking his cock, he found a new reason to hate Robin Head. The powerful tyrant had always filled his stable of wenches from the poor of the shire. A starving farmer was always willing to sell sheriff their prettiest daughters to the sheriff to avoid starvation and ruin.

Ever since that outlaw had taken up in Sherwoody Forest, the sheriff's supply had begun to dry up. Robin Head stole from the rich and gave to the poor. Meaning the poor didn't need to sell their daughters nearly as readily.

"This isn't working!" the Sheriff bellowed and stood up. He planted a foot on the ugly thing's chest and kicked. The blond wig fell off Guy of Gisborne's head as he tumbled backward.

"Sorry, sir. 'aven't I got the sucking down right?"

"You wouldn't look like a woman to me if I were blind. Now, get out of my sight!" the sheriff hissed.

Not only was Robin Head preventing the use of Naughtyhamm's best women, but the vermin had a stable of trollops in his merry little band.

"We'll see if I just can't relieve you of one of your little fillies, Head. Relieve you and relieve myself at the same time." The Sheriff laughed at his own pathetic joke.

 

[Tornado]

I posted the last.

 

[CiscoAncon]

Alan O' Dickle

I am Alan O' Dickle, the greatest bard in all the land. I have seen and written ballads of all the greatest men. Women melt to my voice and the men pay me lots of coinage to have me serenade the wenches into a sexual frenzy. Now, here I am tromping through this damn forest trying to find Robin Head and his band of Horny Men. I have decided that it is high time that his tails of adventure should be chronicled by the greatest bard in all the land.

I've been in this forest for the past day, I think going in circles. Nobody will tell me how to find Robin Head and his Horny Men. They just keep saying if they want's to be found, they will find you.

 

[J Bravo]

Big John

IC:

I sit there and watch as a rabbit's body comes rolling down the hill and launches off a small cliff and splashes into my pot o' stew. I stir is around a bit with my giant wooden spoon and hear the arrival of horses. I stand up and look to see that it is in fact Nun Tuck. I could see that far because a 7 foot tall man can see quite far.

From behind me, i hear some rustling in the bushes and a twig snap. I casually look back and see nothing.

'Prob'ly a rabbit' I say in my deep voice (think of the black dude in "The Green Mile")

I turn back to my stew and stir is a bit, then give it a little taste.

'HAHAHA, this will be great.'

 

[The_high_king]

Waiting

ooc: I'm waiting for a good moment ot post.

 

[Destiny_Brent]

Nun Tucket stopped her chariout, the dashing Robin hood stood before her and she smiled.

"Gooden Robin."

She stepped down from the cart adjusting her robes and smiled at his offer.

"I would love to join you and your men."

A hint of mischief flickered in her eye for only a second then she returned to her more... holy smile. She took the horse's reigns and walked beside Robin towards the camp. She could allready smell Big John's cooking, always a wonderful chef.

 

[Guest]

Nanny

Meridain and I walked down the path for some time chatting away now that we were out from under her father. The day was nice and the walk did us good. Couldnt lose those girlish figures, you know.

"So, do I have to guess where we are going or is it a given that you are headed the way of a certain rougish but good looking thief?," I said to her out of the blue.

I saw her blush and I knew I was right. This girl had had the hots for the outlaw from the day they had met and most of the times she had snuck out of the house was to see him. Other times it was just because she wanted to prove to her father that she could do it whether he liked it or not.

"I thought so," I teased,"And dragging me along too." I made like it was a burden to be doing this but really I didnt mind being around the handsome group of men. They didnt come about the name Horny Men for nothing!

 

[Sweetp4u]

The Nanny

ooc: is the nanny taken yet? Even if it is, this is the funniest thing ive read so far and i love it! great idea. i will keep reading even if you dont need another female.

 

[Jocelyn]

OOC: I was going to post for nanny but I would like to trade for Jill Suckit instead if Sweetp is wanting nanny. Jill was my first choice anyway but it seemed like you needed nanny first.

Just ignore the post I did for nanny because I cant edit it.

 

[Jocelyn]

OOC: Its all set. Sweetp will be nanny and I will be Jill.

 

[Sweetp4u]

Ty Jocelyn

occ: ill just take over from where u left off, no need to delete.

 

[Jocelyn]

Jill Suckit

OOC: I will post for Jill tomorrow. I want to think up a good post.

 

[Necromencer2]

Hey, what about the arab guy? The "painted" man?

Can I play him? We'll call him Aballs....

 

[Isolde]

Meridain

Meridain smiled even as she blushed. It was true, she was headed towards Robin's camp in hopes he would be unoccupied at the moment. He was handsome, adventurous and the fact that her father would kill her if he knew she was with him was an added thrill.

"Okay, okay. So this might be the path to Robin Head's camp and I might just follow it the whole way there. Dont tell me you dont like visiting his camp too. I dont hear you come away complaining about anything but being worn out."

Sniffing the air, she said,"Smells like John is cooking today. Shall we invite ourselves to dinner?"

Hooking her arm around Nanny's she picked up the pace a bit both her stomach, not to mention the wetness between her legs, telling her she was near.

 

[Sweetp4u]

Nanny

Agreeing with Meridian, " we should deffinately invite ourselves to dinner or for dinner"

"dear, at my age im never worn out" Nanny smiles and says "lets pick up the pace, I hear Big John is there"