she forgot my %^%$# Birthday (VENT)

[Jedi_Outcast]

she forgot my birthday, happy 33 to me . I am getting real sick of this. I'm the romantic one, she gets lots of bubble baths, backrubs, footrubs, full body massages. She used to get chocolates and flowers. I bend over backwards to be romantic and show her a nice time, movies everything I can think of. When it comes time to do something special for me she FORGETS!!!!, she forgot father's day and now this. The only reason she remembered is because my mom showed up.
I really can't take this anymore, How long can I give and not get anything back? I don't think I'm asking for a lot, just a "happy birthday" or something nice. Just a little effort, but I'm not even getting that.
At this stage of the relationship she needs to realize that she can't afford any mistakes.

so ends the vent, I feel kinda better (or is that bitter)

 

[Freya]

Hate to butt in with people I don't know, but I feel very badly for you. A birthday - while most of us moan and grpe about them - is a time to be with loved ones and friends. To be forgotten or ignored is such a painful event.

Maybe time to find someone who appreciates all you do, and will give you the consideration in return?



Until then, may I send a warm wish for a improvemnt on what should be your happy day?

 

[Guest]

 

[Freya]

I spent last Tuesday with a fairly casual friend who was alone on his birthday - because his two "best" friends didn't bother to show up. I just felt horrible for him, or anyone who has a life filled with such selfish people.

 

[Weird Harold]

so ends the vent, I feel kinda better (or is that bitter)

A suggestion to prevent a repeat of your anguish next year:

You're a computer whiz, and computers are very good at remembering dates -- so fix hers to make sure she remembers next year.

 

[cinnamon1686]

I know how ya feel Jedi. My man has never remembered my birthday in the 6 years we have been together. Like you I do everything I can for him. Anything to make lifr easier. You know that is probably why we are forgotten. We do to darn much!!!!!
But I Love him and there is always hope that some year he will remember.
Oh yeah I don't get remembered on Mother's day or our anniversary either. I buy him a gift and it is always something he says he wants, plus he gets a massage and a special homecooked dinner. Oh well I am just glad there is a Santa Claus or maybe I would be forgotten at Christmas too. LOL...........
Cinn

 

[Laineforfun]

Sorry Jedi this seems to be getting worse from your other thread on your relationship


HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Laine

 

[Sunny One]

Happy Birthday!!

Hi Jedi,

I know it doesn't make what's happening at home any better, but I did want to say

Happy Birthday

to my favorite computer techie on Lit! I wish you many more!

Sunny

 

[MR.GGG]

HAPPY BOITHDAY, DUDE.

Weird isn't it that everybody talks about GUYS forgetting birthdays, anniversaries, other special dates and not being romantic.

My FIRST year going out with Sue was kinda funny. I remember my birthday came and went. She had some idea it was the 25th not the 15th anyway, about the 21st she was sitting in my lap and she said," I'll take you out for dinner next week...what do you want for your birthday?" I looked at her deadpan and said (romantically) " A fucking card WOULD HAVE been nice."
After she started to realize I was SERIOUS and SHE maybe messed up I showed her my D/L and when she read my birthdate she started balling - wouldn't stop. I told her that it wasn't any big deal and that I was just yanking her chain a bit.

OK that was funny and MANY years ago. All I can sugest is that YOU completely STOP all your romantic stuff. No back rubs, no baths, no dinners cooked, NUTHIN. No special days away. NO romance whatsoever. See how she reacts. If she doesn't like it then you get to discuss things with her. Tell her that's how YOU feel when she doesn't give a damn.

If that crashes then you're looking at ending the relationship. Who the hell wants to go thru life with somebody who doesn't give a shit about YOUR feelings but thinks it's her RIGHT to be doted on by you all the time. There's plenty of women who'd love to treated nicely for a change. You can trade your selfish and uncaring model in for a one of those and be happy.

Good luck.

 

[EndOfThis]

I SO FEEL FOR YOU!

Man, my b-day was the 12th.....she forgot it was my b-day until mid day....then that night.....WE FUCKING BROKE UP! Happy B-day to me!

 

[Poor Yorick]

Hm, Mr GGG's post reminds me of this quote:

If you love her, let her go. If she comes back she's yours forever, and if she doesn't, it was never meant to be.

BTW, I feel for ya Jedi.

 

[Jedi_Outcast]

what a difference an hour makes, she came upstairs and actually broke down in front of me. We had a long talk, and for the first time she was actually hurt, and truly sorry. For the first time in a long time I felt like holding her and saying "It's going to be allright", and I did just that. Maybe it will work, Maybe it won't, but I think this is a good start.

as for butting in, feel free, I need all the advice I can get.

 

[Ladybird]

Well I'm not going to give you any advice sweetheart, you have been given a lot of good advice already.

But I am going to give you a birthday hug and kiss.

So happy birthday Jedi, sending you warm loving wishes for a good day, and a very special year to come.

http://allyours.creative-pages.net/postcard/pictures/p1129.gif

 

[Freya]

what a difference an hour makes, she came upstairs and actually broke down in front of me. We had a long talk, and for the first time she was actually hurt, and truly sorry. For the first time in a long time I felt like holding her and saying "It's going to be allright", and I did just that. Maybe it will work, Maybe it won't, but I think this is a good start.

as for butting in, feel free, I need all the advice I can get.

Heym you have to take that as a good sign. Good luck to you and I hope it all works out.

 

[exvitermini]

That is a good sign. Maybe you need to try to accept that she's simply not the kind of person that makes a big deal of events like that. My wife doesn't either. I mean, she'll do a card or something, but I seem to be the romantic instigator 99% of the time. I know how you feel. But the worst thing you could do is simply feel sorry for yourself. I did that, and failed to realize I was really neglecting my wife in many ways. She ended up cheating on me. Now all the little things she missed in the past seem pretty insignificant - and yet I made such a big deal of them in my mind back then.

Venting here is good. But venting to her, in a mature, reasonable way, is infinitely better. Tell her that it hurts you. But it seems you already have =) You're doing a good job. Keep it up. Don't bottle it up!

 

[Titania1616]

happy birthday!

just a suggestion, i have the same problem, so now we have giant monthly calenders hanging in the kitchen and we write down everything happening that month. this has two positive effects, one, you know each others schedule so planning things is easy, and two, its impossible to forget special events, because you see it every day. this has worked out great for us, hope you have good luck with it!

 

[AttentionWhore]

lit was the only people who remembered mine.



no one has said anything yet

Quite a group of people we have here at Lit. I registered here July 2, my bday was the 8. I have gotten a few Happy Birthday wishes. I've gotten more here than from my family, including both parents. <sigh> One of these years, it won't hurt as bad.

Happy Birthday Jedi, Emerad Eyed, and anyone else.

 

[Titania1616]

and happy birthday to you attentionwhore!

 

[Needssome]

Happy belated birthday! I`ve never had anyone forget my birthday......of course I usually start reminding people about a month before hand which also helps.

 

[Parkay]

Happy belated birthday. I spent mine alone. It really sucked and I cried about it. So I can understand how you feel that she forgot yours. Especially since she is your wife. Some people do not think of others very often. I am sorry your birthday was not a good one.